


The Black Door

by Jeshide



Series: The Black Door [1]
Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Canon Compliant, Dark, Dominance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gay Sex, Inucest, M/M, Modern Era, Oral Sex, Original Character(s), Post-Canon, Rimming, Violence, Yakuza, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2019-11-03 21:38:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 48,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17885669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeshide/pseuds/Jeshide
Summary: Fandom: InuyashaTitle: The Black DoorPairing: Sesshoumaru/Inuyasha (Inuyasha POV)Rating: ExplicitSpoilers: NoneSummary: Inuyasha struggles to deal with the loss of his mateDisclaimer: I didn't create nor do I own Inuyasha





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *Not beta'd  
> **Comments = LOVE
> 
> Enjoy! ^_^

The Black Door

Chapter One

 

On nights like this I always seem to find myself at his house and to his credit he never once asks me about it. He just calmly opens the door and steps to the side to allow me inside. His apartment is dark save for the reflecting lights from the streets below. And dark is a relative term on nights like this, what is dark for me is no different for him. I make quick work of my leather jacket and toss it somewhere in the direction of his overpriced couch; everything in his penthouse is overpriced.

 

As soon as I hear the door lock into place he is behind me and I feel a wave of relief, as if somewhere in the back of my mind, I expect him to turn me away eventually. What we are doing is more than just wrong and no one would even begin to understand why we do it. I’m not even sure he and I know why we are drawn to each other. He pushes my dark hair away from the back of my neck and nips at the skin there. I sigh and lean back into him, the silk of his pressed shirt slides against my red cotton top.

 

On nights like this we never fight and never struggle against each other like we once did. We also never speak to each other, which is a silent agreement between us.

 

His strong arms circle around me and he presses a kiss into the back of my ear, moving to lean into my neck. I turn my head to the side to give him better access and I reach my hands behind myself to hold his hips. He holds up his arms in front of me and deftly begins to undo the ornamental clasps at the wrists of his shirt. After rolling the sleeves up over his forearms, baring magenta stripes, his hands come down to focus on my belt buckle. He still stands nearly two whole heads taller than me, the centuries never gave me any advantages in height, but I suppose on nights like this it makes sense; I will never be like him.

 

With an insistent tug, he pushes the denim down over my hips followed by my boxers and his inhumanly warm hands are on me. I hiss and arch into his touch; he knows exactly how to touch me, just enough pressure to ride a fine line of pain and pleasure. I can feel his trapped excitement pressed up against me and I thrust back to drag the low of my back against him. He growls low in my ear and grinds his hips forward as he uses his hold on me to pull me into him. I moan when he squeezes me and one of his hands claws up under my shirt to punish a sensitive nipple.

 

I lean forward slightly to pull my shirt up over my head and it falls to the floor next to us when his hand continues up my chest to my neck. His fingers close over my pulse points briefly and I wince when I feel a cascade of slices when one by one his claws sink into my skin. I know he does this to whip himself into a bloodlust just as much as he does it to demonstrate his power over me on nights like this. My body reacts the way he expects and as I begin to shudder, he begins to pump me slowly.

 

He smiles darkly against my neck and takes a deep inhale of my scent there before he roughly pushes me away from him. I trip and barely catch myself before I crash down into the marble floor. When I turn around to face him, he is looking at me with red tinted eyes and he raises his claws to taste my blood; the sight is both erotic and frightening. The predatory expression he shoots me sends jolts of excitement down my spine and makes my human heart skip a beat. Without looking away from him, I begin to toe off my boots before I kick my jeans and boxers to the floor to expose myself to him completely.

 

His glowing eyes rake up and down my body and I am unashamed before him, the evidence of my excitement standing proudly between us. One of his hands finds my chin and he steps into me to crush a menacing kiss into my lips. I meet his demanding mouth and our tongues war with each other when I raise my hands up to his clad chest. He snarls into the kiss and breaks away from me to grab both of my wrists and pushes me away from him again. He motions to the hallway with a curt nod of his head and my eyes linger on him for a moment longer before I turn.

 

The deeper we walk into his apartment the more of his true nature is reflected back in the wide walkway. We pass a shrine where his fur is folded reverently near burning incense. On the opposite wall Tenseiga is mounted against a wooden relief of a great inu demon. Coming to the end of the hallway, we walk towards his armor and Bakusaiga, carefully lit with low light. I cannot help myself from pausing before the terrifying images of the great Daiyoukai, remembering all the times we used to war against each other. Had it not been for Tenseiga’s sibling, I would have perished long ago at the hands of the Demon Lord. Maybe that is why our father gave me Tessaiga; to protect me from Sesshoumaru’s ill placed rage.

 

Kami-sama, what would our father think of us now?

 

He comes to stand just inches behind me and I can feel him run a clawed finger down my back. I turn my head towards him without looking at him and his hand on the low of my back urges me to turn towards the door next to his armor. There is no going back now, though I wouldn’t have turned away anyway, and I take the last couple steps to his bedroom door. The door that haunts my life now. The door that takes me away from this world entirely.

 

He reaches from behind me to unlatch it and pushes it open for me to walk inside. And again, the room is dark to my human eyes except for the street lights spilling in through the windows over the headboard of the raised bed. I come to stand at the foot of the bed and I hear the door close behind me when I turn to look at him again. He flashes me a quick glance and walks to the decorative liquor cabinet on the far wall of the room. Unstopping a crystal decanter, he pours two fingers of bourbon into a single glass and turns to offer it to me. This is another unspoken agreement between us.

 

I quickly swallow the burning amber and cough when I hand the glass back to him. In this form, it does not take much and I know that within a few minutes, I will feel a delicious haze come over me. He puts the used glass down on the mirror top of the liquor cabinet and begins to unbutton his shirt before laying it on an oversized leather chair near the cabinet. He carefully rids himself of his pressed pants and folds them over the back of the same chair. Everything he does is mesmerizing to watch as he moves with inhuman grace and I catch myself staring when he pulls his boxer briefs off to expose more of his poisonous stripes and the impressive length between his thighs.

 

He notices this and smirks to bare sharp fangs and my face warms slightly when I turn away with an indignant sound. He stalks past me as he works the clasps of an expensive watch off his wrist and places it down on the table near the head of the bed. After several tense moments, I follow him and come to stand before him with a small, defiant scowl. This only amuses him more and he raises his hands to catch around my throat firmly, his palms stinging the small puncture wounds there as he turns my head to lean down and kiss the side of my jaw. I grit my teeth slightly and bite back a sound when he pulls his lips up over my ear to nip the shell of it.

 

My hands come up to hold his forearms to steady myself, a warm feeling in the back of my head beginning to come over me suddenly. He turns my head again and claims my lips with his own in a demanding kiss. The pressure of it is bruising and he pries my mouth open with his to plunge his tongue inside. I eagerly kiss him back and my eyes fall closed, some part of my mind wants to pretend I’m kissing someone else. But that other person was never bigger than me; their flesh was soft and subtle, their scent was calm and sweet. Everything about them was in sharp contrast to what Sesshoumaru is.

 

He pulls his hands from my throat to run down my sides and scoop up the bottom of my thighs, pulling me into him and up over his hips. I wrap my legs around his waist instinctually and shudder when our arousals come together. My hands find their way into his silver hair and I moan into the kiss when he walks us back towards the edge of the bed. His knees touch the mattress and he steps up onto it slightly before pushing us down over it; his hard body settling over me and between my thighs.

 

His weight is comforting although I would never admit that to him.

 

He pulls his lips from mine, leaving me gasping, as he moves to my neck with open mouthed kisses. This is an element I never expected from the great Demon Lord when we first started doing this and in the beginning I resisted it fervently; the act itself far too intimate for me at the time. Which was one of the most hypocritical things I had ever experienced in my life up to that point. For all the things I had let him, asked him, to do to my body then but I could not handle his kisses. It frustrated him to no end in the beginning and I remember the night I finally gave in. He had worshiped my body with his mouth as though his very life depended on it.

 

Since that time, his practice of using his mouth and tongue has become a staple in what we do together and I hunger for it now; another detail I would never admit to him.

 

His fingers travel up under my back and I arch for him when he moves down to lap at one of my nipples. My head falls back and I begin to rock my hips into him, completely content to take as much pleasure from him as I can in that moment. I don’t think he minds when he grins against my skin and moves to mouth my other nipple, nipping slightly this time and growling when I jump under his attentions. I run my fingers over his scalp and scratch behind his elongated ears; I know he loves this and he purrs deep inside his chest. He continues to travel down my body but stops to kiss and dip his tongue into my navel as one of his hands ghosts further down to take hold of my hot length again.

 

A string of expletives spill from my lips and melt into a loud shout when his wet mouth engulfs me whole. I rip my hands from his hair to prop myself up on my elbows and look down at him, his glowing eyes stare at me and I struggle to breathe when he settles into a steady rhythm. My face screws up and I pant heavily when he moans around me, the vibrations sending shockwaves of pleasure up my body. With the overwhelming feeling between my legs and the influence of alcohol in my head, I’m dizzy and my climax is approaching faster than I wanted it to. He senses this and quickens his pace, swallowing me down to the root and brushing his nose against soft black hair. 

 

He keeps his eyes on me in a predatory demand and I know what he wants from me. My hips come up to meet his pace and our tempo becomes erratic as I cry out repeatedly. My thighs jerk and my toes curl as I toss my head back with a silent scream. All too soon I am tripping over the edge and he pulls his lips away in enough time to take hold of me and pump me up into my own belly and chest; milking me entirely as I feel all my strength spill out of me. My head is pounding and my body feels like it is on fire as I collapse back against the mattress.

 

My arm is draped over my face and I struggle for breath when he leans down over me and takes my mouth in another kiss. His lips are persistent while mine are relaxed and I idly notice that I can taste myself on his tongue. A groan escapes me when he settles between my thighs again and I can feel his weeping desire rub into my belly. One of his powerful hands travel up over my abdomen to gather my spent seed and he kneels outside of my legs to roll me over into the bed. Sweeping my black hair over one of my shoulders, he leans down to lick and suck on my shoulder blades as he straddles the back of my thighs.

 

I cross my arms in front of myself and prop my chin over my forearms as he rubs his slick hand between the cheeks of my backside. He shifts his knees further apart to allow me to do the same and grant him better access. He reaches over me to the pillows at the head of the bed and pulls down one of the smaller ones to drop it over my back. I furrow my brows and look over my shoulder at him; he doesn’t acknowledge me and reaches over me again to grab the bottle of oil left under the other pillows.

 

He comes back over me, grabs the pillow on my back and pats my hip. Catching onto what he has planned, I raise up as much has his weight over my legs allows me and he pushes the smaller pillow under my lap. When I lay back down, my back is arched and my ass is lifted for him. I know I should be embarrassed or at least have some sense of modesty but right now all I feel is a quickening in my pulse and a readiness to begin again. Swallowing thickly, I begin to rock my hips in small circles into the pillow, he growls approvingly but slaps one of my cheeks threateningly.

 

The blow stung enough to make me jump and I glare down into my forearms when he opens the bottle of oil to pour a liberal amount over his hand. The bottle lands near my head and he groans as he pumps himself with his oiled palm for a few moments before he pushes his hand between my cheeks again. He rolls his thumb over my entrance and draws lustful sounds from me. He is careful of his claws, knowing that I am particularly vulnerable to them in this state, and continues to tease me until I am pushing back against his hand and moaning into my arms.

 

He pulls back and I take a deep breath when I feel him lean forward over me. This part is always the worst, especially on nights like this, I am sure he enjoys the mix of anticipation and trepidation my scent puts off when we come to this part. His demonic side relishes in it in fact and I know this because I can feel the sadistic smile he presses into the back of my shoulder before he kisses me there. He angles his hips forward and pushes his arousal down between the cleft of my backside. He spends time rubbing himself up and down over my tight ring of muscle, coaxing more excitement out of me before he steadily begins to push forward against it.

 

I squeeze my eyes shut and try to relax as much as I can when I feel his impossibly large length demand entry. He places a hand between my shoulder blades and uses the other to hold onto himself as he begins to breech me. I grip the bedding desperately and my loud hiss turns into a pained cry as the flared head of his member stretches me nearly to the point of tearing. Curses start to fall out of me through clenched teeth and he hums in agreement behind me as he sinks deeper.

 

When he is nearly seated completely inside me, he begins to pull back slightly before he snaps his hips forward suddenly to bury himself. A breath I didn’t know I was holding bursts out from my lungs and I cry out pathetically. My fists twist in the sheets and I push my face into the mattress to muffle my shouts. He doesn’t give me much time to acclimate to him before he starts to rock back and forth. Part of me knows he does this as much for himself as he does it for me though; the sooner my muscles stretch enough the sooner this becomes less painful and more enjoyable for me. But he still loves the pain I’m in and I can feel him pulsate inside me each time he thrusts into me.

 

I lift my face from the bedding to breathe cooler air and he snakes an arm around my neck to pull me into something similar to a headlock, without the pressure. His other hand runs up over my side to pull my body into each of his thrusts. Licking my suddenly dry lips I notice that slowly but surely the pain begins to melt into something else entirely and on a particularly well angled thrust, he strikes the place inside me that makes me buck under him and cry out for another reason. He growls as he buries his face into the juncture of my neck and shoulder, aiming for that delicious place inside me over and over again.

 

The pain is nearly forgotten and I began to rock back into his assault as much as I can. His muscles strain in his prone position over me and I can feel the strength he holds back against my human form; the realization that he can utterly destroy me in that moment fills me with both fear and desire. His pace quickens and the sounds of our bodies coming together, followed by our groaning and grunting in the dark, is obscene. My newfound arousal weeps against the pillow and with each staggering heave forward of his powerful hips, I am rocking into that wonderful friction against the fabric. I am climbing again and soon his rocking takes on a desperate rhythm.

 

I grasp at the arm around my neck and ride against the Daiyoukai in abandon. He snarls and he pumps into me recklessly. He swells painfully large inside me and with a series of feral cries he is spilling his seed deep in my core. I can feel the hot rush flow from him in waves and I buck against him frantically to chase my own release. When it finally comes crashing down over me in glorious relief, I am calling out to the Kami between curses and pleas. He continues to thrust into me, deep and desperate, as we savor every last wave.

 

The moment is over almost as fast as it began though. I slump to the mattress in utter exhaustion as the tight coil of pleasure through my body finally snaps and I am left languid and unable to move beneath him.

 

Blackness takes me and I slip from this world entirely.

 

When I finally come back to reality I am under a heavy blanket and my head is buried in a pile of pillows. Groaning as I lean up on my elbows, I look around the room and Sesshoumaru is nowhere to be found. When I turn towards the bedside table, the lower half of my body protests painfully and I grunt. Come dawn, it won’t hurt as much but in this moment, I struggle to not regret what we did. I swipe the Rolex on the table and squint at the face of the watch to make out the time in the dark.

 

“Fuck…” I trail off and pull the blankets off of myself to gingerly stand out of the bed. Turning back to put the watch back down on the table, I pause and roll the expensive jewelry in my hand before grinning. “…He has tons of these.” I tell myself and hook it on my own wrist as I make my way to the master bathroom off his bedroom suite. After relieving myself and washing up as best I could without taking a shower, I am back in the bedroom wearing one of his ropes and I expected to see him but I don’t.

 

I head out of the master suite and back to the great room where my clothes are still littered on the floor. Coming up to the pile, I nearly trip on my own boots and I curse my damn human eyes and their lack of sensitivity in the dark. Bending down is painful but I quickly toss the rest of my things on the couch next to my leather jacket before I turn down another hallway to the kitchen.

 

“Of course the bastard has practically nothing in here.” I grunt as I stare into a nearly empty refrigerator. The damn thing is big enough for two or three of me to stand inside but still all he has is some sad excuse for groceries. I settle for an apple I find on the counter instead and bite into it as I make my way to the other side of the penthouse where a glass and steel staircase leads to the second floor. The more I move and the closer dawn comes, the better I start to feel physically. Coming to the top of the stairs I roll my eyes when I hear his voice coming from the back office. I can’t believe he is working, I think to myself, the Daiyoukai doesn’t know the first thing about relaxing.

 

But then again, you don’t get to where Sesshoumaru is now by relaxing your life away. This building doesn’t sport the bright blue ‘Taisho Industries’ insignia for nothing. Not that he didn’t get here without my help though; without Kagome’s insider information on the future, and my willingness to share said information with the Demon Lord, he wouldn’t be the billionaire he is now.

 

Making my way to his office, I push open the mahogany doors to find him standing behind his large desk. He is leaning over a pile of paperwork and is deep in conversation with someone in his earpiece. From his tone, it is not a happy conversation, and I can see the tension in his arms as he taps his claws. He is only wearing a simple pair of house slacks and he glares up at me when I turn the lights on. He gives me an aggravated growl and nods his head back to the doorway I just came from to dismiss me. I hold out my arms out in a defiant pose and his youki flares slightly to cement his point.

 

“Asshole.” I shoot back at him and turn to the cigar box on the table near the door to swipe one. His gold eyes watch me as I cut off the tip, and before I walk back out, I flip him off; knowing that I am probably the only person alive who can do that to him and keep my hand, or life for that matter.

 

Sometime later he finds me on his private balcony but this time I hear him coming and one of my inu ears swivel back when he walks through the doorway to join me. The early morning is a beautiful thing to see with my sharp hanyou eyesight and I have always wondered what he sees as a full blood Daiyoukai. Without speaking, he comes to sit down on the chair next to mine. I take another long drag of the cigar and he leans back with a glass of sake.

 

“Didn’t know you still drank that stuff Oniisan.” I say without looking at him.

 

“There are a great many things you do not know about me Ototo-san.” He answers coolly and we both watch the city wake up below. The silence between us is far from uncomfortable and in fact, I find myself craving his quiet presence more and more these days. A thought that both intrigues and infuriates me.

 

“I doubt that.”

 

He makes a side glance to me and I can hear the wheels turning in his head before he takes another sip and looks back over the cityscape. We stay like that for nearly an hour, both of us lost in our own thoughts. I’m surprised he stays with me that long actually, and although I would never tell him this, it makes me feel better. His presence makes me feel less… alone. If I stare long enough at the city around us, I can eventually see what once was, before humans became the dominating power in this world. And it is nice to sit next to someone I know can see the same thing.

 

But eventually I know it is time to leave and I look down at what is left of my cigar before I put it out in a glass coaster. Getting up and walking past him, I make my way back into the apartment and grab my pile of clothes off the couch before I head to his bedroom. Sesshoumaru peers down inside his empty glass and pretends not to watch me go.

 

Sometime later, he is in the doorway of his bathroom holding out a folded piece of paper to me as I get dressed. I pull my red shirt over my head and look at him. “What’s this?” I pluck the paper from his clawed fingers and open it to find a sizable check addressed to me. I couldn’t help the smug grin on my face and I laugh halfheartedly. “I was that good last night heh?”

 

“That is your portion of the quarterly earnings.”

 

“Couldn’t you have just had this sent to my accountant?”

 

“Indeed I could have, if you bothered to keep one Inuyasha.” He answers curtly. I grunt in reply and stuff the check into my pocket. After properly getting ready for the day, I walk past him and head back out to the great room, intent on taking my leave. I am in the process of pulling my leather jacket over my shoulders when he says something that I never thought I would hear him say.

 

“Stay.”

 

Turning back around in disbelief, I look up at Sesshoumaru standing across the room from me.

 

“What?”

 

“Stay Ototo-san... with me.” My sensitive nose cannot detect any insincerity in his words or any ominous ulterior motives; all I can sense is a simple, honest request. And I am not sure why it bothers me so much; where is the intimidating Sesshoumaru I know so well?

 

Silence hangs between us for a long moment before slowly, I begin to shake my head. His eyes narrow slightly and I can feel his youki recoil cautiously.

 

“I can’t… Sesshoumaru...” I trail off, my ears drooping desperately.

 

“You cannot continue to live like this Inuyasha.” He presses.

 

“Like what?!” I shout at him and flash my fangs; suddenly angry and defensive-- who the hell was he to tell me how to live my life! Before I know what is happening, he is in front of me and shoves me against the door. I growl up at his surprisingly calm golden eyes as his hands come up to lean into the door by each of my ears.

 

“She is dead Ototo-san and there is no going back.”

 

He could have plunged his arm right through my chest again, like he once did, for how badly those words hurt. And all the pain in every fiber of my being boils up to the surface as rage when jagged stripes blossom across my cheeks and I shove him back away from me. “Fuck you Sesshoumaru! What could you possibly know about what losing someone you love feels like?!” To his credit, he lets me push him back and just stares back down at me with immovable eyes.

 

I watch him for a few more moments before I can no longer stand it and I angrily rip the Rolex from my wrist to throw it at him; he catches it smoothly. “I don’t need shit from you Sesshoumaru!” I bark at him and pull the folded check out of my pocket before I motion to the penthouse. “You wouldn’t have any of this, you smug bastard, if it wasn’t for her-- how can you ask me to forget her?!” He doesn’t flinch when I crumple the folded check and chuck it at him.

 

“Thanks for the fuck, Oniisan.” I turn to rip the door open. “But I don’t need your advice on how to live my life so just stay the hell out of it.” I never heard a sound as satisfying as when I pull the door closed so hard that the hinges break back into the wooden frame. And it’s a damn good thing that he has a private elevator that goes straight to the lobby because I am pretty sure I would hurt anyone who got between me and escape in that moment.

 

My reflection seethes back at me in the mirror walls on the elevator interior. And when the doors finally slide open at the lobby, I shatter the glass image of myself and stalk past a shocked doorman. “Put it on his tab!” I shout at the young man and pull the collar of my jacket over my neck when I make my way out of the building and down the street.

 

I am so deep in my thoughts that I never notice a pair of gold eyes watching me from the top terrace of Taisho Industries.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary:  
> Fandom: Inuyasha  
> Title: The Black Door  
> Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Inuyasha (Inuyasha POV)  
> Rating: Explicit  
> Spoilers: None  
> Summary: Inuyasha struggles to deal with the loss of his mate  
> Disclaimer: I didn't create nor do I own Inuyasha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes:  
> *Not beta'd  
> **Comments = LOVE
> 
> Enjoy! ^_^

Chapter Two

 

 

It’s funny in a sad kind of way when I walk around the city these days. I remember the times I would visit Kagome in her time, things were different then or I guess you can say now—this time travel thing is hard to keep straight sometimes. She never took the credit she deserved for changing the future like she had and I grin at an Okami woman who walks past me; turning her nose up at me like all wolfs do. If only she knew how she owed her very life in this era to the woman I once called mate. Without Kagome I’m pretty sure all demons and half breeds would have died out eventually; in fact I know that is exactly what would have happened. Each time I visited her time with her, there was no sign or scent of our kind.

 

But now we are everywhere.

 

Not that everything is perfect, far from it actually, half breeds are still a marginalized group and humans have the upper hand in all things political these days. Their technology makes them formidable to even great Youkai like my ass of a brother. Speaking of which, what was with him this morning? My expression darkens when I think about our conversation earlier and I quickly duck behind a car to cross the street.

 

Before long I’m at the base of the steps to the Higurashi Shrine and I touch the red torii gate on my way up the steps. I remember when nearly every stair had little homemade shrines and candle vigils for the people I once called family. At that time I couldn’t bring myself to even approach the stairs, all the symbols of sympathy was like a knife to my heart and I would simply jump over the lot of it. But a couple years can help heal a broken heart, or at least that is what an old woman told me at the local market once.

 

Apparently she personally knew the Higurashi family when she was younger and she was the only neighbor who actually checked in on me periodically after the accident; her cooking wasn’t as good as Kagome’s but it was nice to come home to a wrapped meal once in a while. How the old bat could actually make it up all those stairs was beyond me though and I actually felt bad when she finally knocked off earlier this year.

 

“Hey Buyo—looking fat as always.” I say to the cat waiting for me at the top of the stairs. He just gives me an annoyed glare and trots in front of me towards the back of the shrine to the Higurashi house. Talk about crazy karma, an inu hanyou with a pet cat, there must be a punchline somewhere in that sick joke.

 

I have to force myself not to look at the Goshinboku tree when I walk by it.

 

Even though it’s been a couple years now, and I am technically the sole owner, I still feel like a guest in the Higurashi house. I wonder if that feeling will ever go away. Kagome and I were only supposed to be here for a few months anyway and pretty much everything from our life together was left in the feudal era. Had I known how drastically everything was going to change, I would have said goodbye to our friends. Out of respect, I have tried not to change much of anything in the Higurashi home and even though we were offered the master bedroom when we first got back, I only stay in Kagome’s room. In some ways the house is also a shrine now, for me at least, and I haven’t had the heart to reopen the grounds to the public.

 

After feeding Kagome’s cat and doing a once over of the house, I find myself standing in the doorway of her old room. Other than the bed and a couple piles of my own things on the floor, I left everything the way it was. When I stare into the room I can remember all the times she and I had there, before and after our adventures with the jewel. I remember the night we first got back and how excited she was to sleep on a raised bed again, even I had to admit that her old bed was better than our futon back home.

 

A smile graces my lips as I recall that first night we came back here.

 

I know she would never admit it, and despite the unhappy reasons we came back at all, she was happy to be home in her own time, surrounded by her own family. She was so beautiful that night, seeing her family had brought such joy to the woman I called mate. And for a while, it seemed as though all our troubles would be solved by just being back here. It had been a long time since I had seen her smile like she did that night and by that time, we had been mated for a few years.

 

After the dinner her mom prepared for the family that night, she and I closed ourselves off in her room and we connected in a way we hadn’t in a long time. She wept quietly in my arms that night and I kissed each tear away; she bore her soul to me and I worshiped her body. Afterwards, when our bodies were connected and our urgency pacified, I told her everything was going to be okay. I remember that, in that moment, I meant it and I remember that she believed me.

 

There are so many memories in this room, I think to myself and my smile fades. I also remember the day her scent began to fade away from this room.

 

I’m pulled out of my thoughts when Buyo rubs up against my leg on his way into the room and I watch him hop onto the bed to find a sun spot to relax in. Seeing him stretch out on the comforter, I’m suddenly hit with a wave of exhaustion myself and I sigh before I take my jacket off to lay down besides the fat cat. I know there are things I need to do around the shrine but in that moment, all I want to do is sleep; I really didn’t sleep last night at Sesshoumaru’s place after all. A subconscious growl escapes me when I think of my brother and with a hand behind a brown ear, I have to reassure Buyo that I wasn’t cursing at him.

 

The day is nearly spent when I finally wake up to a cubby tail tapping me in the face. I grimace and try to push Buyo away from my head but he is focused on something outside and ignores me entirely. Before I have a chance to be offended, a familiar scent rolls in from the open window and I lean out of Kagome’s bed to look down at the unwanted guest outside. As I stare down at the visitor, I blindly reach down for Tessaiga propped up against the wall under the window. He stands proudly in a black suit with his long dark hair pulled high on his head. His hands are clasped over his lap and as our eyes lock with each other, several moments of uneasy silence pass between us.

 

Damn Yakuza.

 

Not just any Yakuza, I happen to know that this man works for my ass of a brother. His youki flares slightly as his patience begins to wane and I narrow my eyes before I close the window and turn to make my way out of Kagome’s room. When I stalk out of the Higurashi house to greet him, he casually pulls a pair of sunglasses on and waits for me to approach him. “What do you want Tanaka-san?” I all but growl at the tatsu and flex my hold on my father’s sheathed fang.

 

“Your presence has been requested.” He answers impassively. As he reaches inside his suit for a small envelope, my eyes dart down to the weapon he has holstered under his arm.

 

“We’ve been over this before, I don’t want to have anything to do with the underbelly of Sesshoumaru’s network—now leave before you and I have a serious chat.” Without acknowledging my threat, the dragon holds out the envelope to me between two clawed fingers. I raise my lip to bare a fang and hiss back at him. “You got a hearing problem asshole?”

 

Tanaka’s façade cracks slightly before he tosses the envelope at me and I catch it on instinct. He turns on his heel and before I have a chance to counter, he glimmers away in a bright ball of lighting youki. I am left standing alone outside the Higurashi house with the static charge left in the air around me. I look down at my hand and at the envelope. Before I flex my fist around it to crush the offending summons, a tiny waft of a familiar scent reaches my sensitive nose.

 

Before I know what I am doing, Tessaiga clatters to the ground and I am frantically ripping the envelope open. A desperate sound escapes me and I stare in disbelief as I carefully hold out an intricate omamori knot of black hair.

 

Human hair.

 

Her hair.

 

A red thread attached to the knot holds a small note that simply reads “9pm”. I blankly look back up at where Tanaka had been standing and I can’t breathe. In that moment, I’m back at the scene of the accident. I was dazed and confused when I walked up to the remains of the car in the dark. Red and blue lights danced around me and everything was muffled, as if both sound and substance were trying to move through water. I could see her arm, twisted and broken, pinned to the wet ground under the metal and I could smell the blood that congealed around it.

 

A sudden gust of wind pulls me from the memory. I look up and across the courtyard to the Goshinboku tree moving in the breeze. The sky behind it begins to darken and I can feel a storm blowing in. My clawed fingers deftly pluck the red thread from the omamori knot and I close my fist around the simple summons as I raise her hair to my nose. “Kagome…” I whisper to myself and take deep breath; determination coming over me as my gold eyes begin to bleed red.

 

The night sours ominously when I step back out of the Higurashi house later that evening and my inu ears flatten back against my head as I make my way across the shrine courtyard. Pulling Tessaiga closer to my side and adjusting my suit jacket, I leap down the long flight of shrine stairs. I know where I’m headed, I’ve been there before, back when Sesshoumaru first tried to recruit me into his underground syndicate. The building is across town in the district of Kabukicho, a red light borough known for lively nightclubs, overpriced restaurants, and love hotels.

 

I arrive at the club just as the first of the rain starts to come down and I flick one of my ears to rid it of the water. Walking by the long line of people waiting to enter, a mix of youkai, hanyou and ningen, I stalk straight to the door and glare down one of the guards. He knows who I am—they all do and the door is opened for me without incident. The club is vibrating with a heavy bass and is overcrowded with people. I adjust my dark suit as I walk by a large youkai with two human women hanging on each of his arms and I flex my hold on Tessaiga when I’m greeted by a neko hanyou. I reach into the inside of my suit and pull out the small summons dangling from the red thread. She nods knowingly and ushers me to follow her up the glass stair case behind the bar.

 

At the top of the stairs is a polished black door guarded by two blonde inu youkai. As I come to the door, the hanyou bows respectively to me before the door is opened for me to enter. The atmosphere on the second floor is in stark contrast to the active club below. The long corridor beyond the black door is dimly lit in low light and is fairly quiet, save for the thrumming of the bass below. The walls are a tinted glass, I can see the dance floor below to my left and a series of smaller rooms to my right. When I come to the end of the glass hallway, I turn into a large lounge area and private bar.

 

All eyes are on me when I enter and hushed conversations between the pureblooded demons in the room pause for a moment. As I walk down the two polished stairs onto the inlaid marble floor, I find Tanaka sitting at the private bar. He turns to face me as he takes another sip of his drink. The tatsu is a rather large man with broad shoulders and big hands. His suit jacket and loaded holster hang on the back of his stool, he has his pressed sleeves rolled up his forearms; exposing overlapping tattoo designs of serpent like dragons on his tan skin. He eyes me before he finally speaks. “You are early… hanyou.”

 

The tension in the room thickens slightly and I shoot a dark half grin back at him. Tanaka and I never did have it out like we wanted to a year ago, when I refused my brother’s offer to join his private Yakuza. I walk up to the bar and place my sword down in front of me. “You forget yourself Tanaka-san. I might be hanyou but I’m also the brother of your boss, the most powerful Dayoukai alive, so I’d be more polite if I were you.” He growls threateningly and two youkai sitting between us at the bar take their drinks to walk away.

 

The bartender comes up to me and I ask her for a shot of whiskey. As she pours it, my eyes lock with Tanaka’s in the mirror behind her and we watch each other as he finishes his drink. He feigns a respectful smile in the mirror and tips his empty glass to me as I take my shot. I push the glass out in front of me and tap for another. He stands to straighten his sleeves before he pulls his holster and blazer back on. From the far side of the lounge, a female youkai bows to the room and announces that the meeting is to begin.

 

When the tatsu walks past me, he pauses behind me just long enough to take an intrusive sniff and our eyes lock in the mirror again. My dark expression dares him to voice what I know he is thinking but he only smiles menacingly and straightens the collar of his jacket before he heads to the conference room. I tighten my hold of Tessaiga hard enough to crack my knuckles around the sheath. I know everyone knows. The reality of the matter is that it’s not something that could have been hidden from the sharp senses of full blooded youkai even if Sesshoumaru and I tried. 

 

I’m the last one to enter the room and I’m greeted with a sea of black when I do. Black paintings on the wall, a low black table, black zabuton—even the members of my brother’s Yakuza council all wear black on black suits. Basically the only color in the room is the warm marble floor and the red of my pressed shirt. As the council members take their seats at the long table, I look up at the empty head of the table where my brother will be sitting and grin to myself when I see Tanaka kneel down to take the seat to the right of it. I stalk to the head of the table and stand expectantly next to the tatsu to wait for him to acknowledge me. “That’s my seat Tanaka.” I drop the honorific and tap the back of his zabuton with my sheath. The tension in the room intensifies dramatically and all eyes are on us when he slowly looks up at me. I tap the back of his seat again and cock an eyebrow. “I said move.”

 

His youki flares and he narrows his sharp eyes dangerously. The tatsu might be my brother’s second in command right now but, if I finally take Sesshoumaru up on his offer to join his Yakuza, that honor would belong to me. And I don’t intend to let this opportunity to really piss him off pass me by tonight; any chance to take the smug bastard down a peg is just too tempting. The youkai sitting next to Tanaka attempts to talk to him and in response, he slams his fist down on the polished table hard enough to crack the varnish. The room is silent now and the static charge between us is pulled so tight that any twitch or movement on our part might snap it.

 

Suddenly the rest of the youkai in the room stand and begin to bow deeply when a cold, calculating voice rings from the doorway. “Inuyasha.” My gold eyes glance up to meet my brother’s impassive stare as he enters the room and I’m surprised to see that he is not wearing black like the rest of them. Instead his suit is charcoal gray and he wears a magenta tie over a white pressed shirt. He also carries his sword, Bakusaiga. “I am pleased that you could join us.”

 

When Sesshoumaru passes by me, his youkai blazes over Tanaka painfully and the tatsu hisses at the assault. Without having to be told twice by the Daiyoukai, he stands to bow and moves to the other side of the low table to take the seat to the left of Sesshoumaru. I wink at the glaring tatsu when I take the seat to the right of my brother and lay Tessaiga over my lap just as he places Bakusaiga over his lap. My ass of a brother and myself are the only two in the room who bear swords, the rest of the council are armed with modern ningen weaponry, as we are the only living descendants of Daiyoukai like our father, Inu no Taisho.

 

The others in the room take their seats and sake is poured for the members of Sesshoumaru’s council by female youkai. After a traditional toast to my brother’s honor, the meeting officially begins and I sit back to listen to the many issues my brother’s Yakuza faces these days. I honestly don’t care about his underground syndicate and I basically tune the room out. The only reason I came tonight was to talk to Sesshoumaru about the knot of Kagome’s hair in my pocket and to beat the shit out of him when I find out how he even got her hair to begin with. But then an old youkai at the end of the table started speaking. “Yes, the very same whom we suspect is responsible for the death of the inu hanyou’s mate, Kagome-sama.” My head snaps up when I hear her name and I stare down at the older demon with an angry snarl.

 

“What did you just say?”

 

All eyes are on me again but I don’t rip my gaze away from the old Yakuza at the end of the table. If I had to guess, he is probably older than even Sesshoumaru and he sports a nasty scar down the side of his pale face. I narrow my eyes at him and he just stares back at me, almost blankly, before addressing me directly. “We believe that the same group responsible for our recent troubles may also be connected to the death of your mate, Kago—“

 

“Say her name again and I will cut your damn tongue right out of your mouth!” Before I know what I’m doing, I’m on my feet with Tessaiga drawn; the point of the blade held down the length of the table. Several of the youkai between us shuffle back away from my father’s fang and from the corner of my eye, I can see Tanaka lean in and reach for the gun under his arm. Shifting my attention, I point Tessaiga at the tatsu and snarl. “Give me one good reason to end you, Tanaka-san, I dare you.”

 

“Inuyasha.” My brother says sternly and I can feel his youki press down around the room with irritation. Tanaka’s eyes shift to Sesshoumaru and he slowly sits back to pull his hand away from his weapon.

 

I ignore my brother completely.

 

“None of you have the right to say her name—none of you!” My voice drips with disdain when I leer at the Yakuza in the room, the point of my blade following my glare around the table and I drop the sheath behind myself. There is a sudden rush of energy pulsating from me and my white hair surges around me with an angry static charge. I can feel pure rage rise up inside myself; my fangs lengthen, my vision intensifies and my cheeks bare jagged stripes when I growl again. “The next asshole to say her name, dies!” 

 

“Inuyasha!” My brother hisses behind me but I can’t hear him. My ears bend back against my head threateningly and I flex my hold on Tessaiga. My blood boils and my nostrils flare. In that moment, I want nothing more than to tear into the demons in the room, run my claws through their flesh like ribbons and paint the otherwise black room red with their insides.

 

I can feel my sanity begin to slip away and my eyes begin to bleed red when a voice booms behind me. “OTOTO-SAN!”

 

Snapping around to glare at Sesshoumaru with a feral expression, I come face to face with a pair of equally savage eyes standing over me and a bright green light flickers around me before I can feel his poisonous whip slash across my face. The sizzle of pain on my left cheek is enough of a distraction to pull me out of my wild state and I blink the red from my eyes as Tessaiga reverts back to its dormant state in my hand. Shaking with the force of the rage singing in my veins, I stare into Sesshoumaru’s eyes and pant heavily before I feel a strange sensation on my other cheek. I see my brother’s nostrils twitch and my free hand is on my face a second later. 

 

When I pull my fingers away from my cheek, I look down at a clear liquid running over them. I hesitate slightly before I bring them to my lips and dart my tongue out to taste it.

 

Salt.

 

I taste salt.

 

In an instant, all my anger leaves me and I’m left staring down at my hand in disbelief. When I look back up at Sesshoumaru, his eyes are golden again and I swallow thickly as I slowly turn away from the table. I reach down for my sheath and feel another tear roll down my face. It lands on the back of my zabuton and begins to soak into the black fabric.

 

My demon… weeps?

 

I look around the room without really seeing it. Before I know what I’m doing, my feet take me out of the room entirely and I pass by a female youkai with a shocked expression on her face. Need to leave, my mind repeats over and over again, need to get away. My shoulder bumps into the side of the private bar in the lounge and a large bottle of Vodka crashes to the marble floor in front of the bartender. She curses at me but I can’t hear her as the room begins to tilt and a nauseating feeling comes over me.

 

Flashes of red and blue light dance across my mind and my vision is slipping between the private lounge and the dark street where Kagome’s motionless body lies. Need to leave. I blindly reach out in front of myself and for a split second I can see Kagome hold her hand out for me with a smile. Need to get away. The bartender comes from around the counter and is talking to me but all I can hear is Kagome. She is screaming in pain on our futon when Kaeda pulls a bloody hand away from her swollen belly.

 

Then she is whispering to me desperately. “We need to go back Inuyasha, it’s the only way.”

 

The ground drops beneath my feet and blackness takes me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fandom: Inuyasha  
> Title: The Black Door  
> Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Inuyasha (Inuyasha POV)  
> Rating: Explicit  
> Spoilers: None  
> Summary: Inuyasha struggles to deal with the loss of his mate  
> Disclaimer: I didn't create nor do I own Inuyasha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Not beta'd  
> **Comments = LOVE
> 
> Enjoy! ^_^

Chapter Three

 

 

The soft sound of pen on paper slowly pulls me back to reality and I find consciousness again as I take a deep breath. It feels as though I’m wading through sludge to pull myself back to awareness though and my body feels heavy. When I open my eyes, I’m staring up at a dark ceiling I don’t recognize and I blink a few times. I move my head to the side and realize I’m in Sesshoumaru’s office at the club. The office has the same black décor as the conference room and as I look around I can see the far wall is completely covered with notes, photos, and documents.

 

With a groan, I sit up and realize I’m on his leather couch. It’s not as nice as the ones in his apartment but still better than what most people can afford. Pieces of the events from earlier that night start to come back to me and with dread I realize that I don’t have Tessaiga on me. I throw my legs over the edge of the couch and stand suddenly only to trip over my father’s fang propped up against the same couch. I lean down to grab it and realize I’m not wearing my suit jacket.

 

My mind panics, the omamori knot—Kagome’s hair!

 

“Inuyasha.” My head snaps up and I find Sesshoumaru sitting behind a large desk. His gold eyes lock with mine as he puts an expensive pen down over a pile of documents in front of him. He isn’t wearing his suit jacket either and his tie is loosened. Without breaking eye contact with me, he calmly points towards the other wall where I can see both our blazers resting over the back of a leather chair. I hastily walk to the chair and pull up my jacket to dive a hand into the inside pocket.

 

Kami-sama, it’s still there—I breathe a sigh of relief. My jacket is forgotten on the chair a second later and I hold up the omamori to my nose. I close my eyes, inhaling long and hard to lose myself in her scent once again. A rush of memories flood my mind and I screw my face up to brace myself against the images. That’s when I feel it, the blistering wound on my left cheek, and the searing pain is enough to snap me back to the present.

 

“You’re such and asshole Sesshoumaru.” I growl quietly and look back up at the Daiyoukai across the room. He pushes his chair back from the desk and stands to make his way over to me smoothly. My hand instinctively wraps around Kagome’s hair protectively and I pull it down to my side; away from his intimidating presence. When he comes to stand before me, I’m reminded again of how tall he is compared to me and I have to tilt my head back to look up into his eyes. My mind finally registers that he and I are alone and I glare up at him. “Why did you invite me here and how the hell did you get Kagome’s hair?”

 

Moving with the speed only a full blooded youkai can, Sesshoumaru grabs my chin and I jerk slightly when he turns my head to lean down to my injured cheek. I can feel him drag his tongue over the burn and I hiss as his youki pricks at my skin to heal it. Part of me is about to begrudgingly thank him for addressing the wound when I realize that he doesn’t pull away from my face. Instead I can hear him take in a deep breath and he presses his lips to my skin to finish what he started with a kiss. 

 

My body tenses and I try to pull away when his hold on my chin tightens and he steps into me. My ears flatten against my head and I growl aggressively when I shove against his chest. He just snarls against my skin and leans further down to mouth the pulse point along my neck. “What the fuck Sesshoumaru! Get off me!”

 

Suddenly desperate, I roar against him and rake my free hand down his front; my claws pulling through his shirt, tie, and skin alike. The sharp scent of blood fills the space between us and his body tenses before he uses his hold on my face to push himself away from me. I stumble back and barely catch myself on the chair. I glare up at Sesshoumaru now several feet away from me; his breathing is ragged, his eyes are red and his claws are glowing with poison. I hold my hand up threateningly, my claws dripping with his blood, and narrow my eyes at the Daiyoukai.

 

We stand like that for a long time, neither one of us moving, before slowly the red in his eyes begins to fade and his breathing calms. He blinks a couple times before he narrows his now golden eyes at me and looks down at his chest. He pulls his poison back from his claws and runs one of his hands up the bloody mess of his front. With a look of disgust, he rips the rest of the fabric away from his skin to pull the soiled shirt and tie off completely. He tosses the bloody pile to the ground near the door and looks down with an angry hiss at the red stains soaking into the tops of his pressed pants.

 

As if dismissing me and the situation entirely, he just stalks back to his desk and presses a button on the telecom system. Moments later the door opens and a female youkai walks in and I straighten myself out of my defensive stance. “Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama?”

 

He motions to the bloody rags on the floor and she leans down to pick it up gracefully before she leaves. When the door closes, my brother turns to the large office armoire behind his desk and rips one of the doors open to rifle around inside it for something. I roll my eyes and carefully tuck the knot of Kagome’s hair into my back pocket before I walk back towards the leather couch. I pick Tessaiga up with my clean hand and put it down over the cushions. When I turn to Sesshoumaru he is looking at me and tosses a white towel at me; I catch it and start to wipe my bloody hand with it.

 

I drop myself down on the couch and start to pick the quickly drying blood out from under my claws when I catch what my brother is doing from the corner of my eye. With his back to me, Sesshoumaru begins to undress completely and I find myself staring at the magenta stripes that become visible down the back of his powerful legs. A voice in the back of my head tells me not to, but I can’t help myself from watching him as he carefully begins to soak the blood off his wounds with a towel.

 

I can smell his blood and a mix of conflicting passions rise up inside me. In that moment, I want nothing more than to close the distance between us and inflict more damage on the Daiyoukai’s perfect skin. In the same moment though, I want his lips to crush against mine and I want him to rend into me like he’s done so many times before. As my eyes travel down the back of his legs, I absentmindedly drag my tongue against one of my fangs and the taste of my own blood in my mouth fans the bloodlust beginning to boil in my veins.

 

How can I both hate and love my brother at the same time—what the fuck is wrong with me?

 

He turns slightly and catches me watching him. He can smell my arousal and just like the night before, I snap my head away with an indignant sound. His sharp eyes stay on me for a moment longer and I can feel it; my lips twitch with annoyance. He just smirks and when he finishes wiping the blood off his skin, he tosses the towel towards the door to begin to pull on a fresh set of boxer briefs and business pants that he had in the armoire. When I hear his belt buckle loop into place, I turn to look at him again and we lock eyes.

 

“Is there something on your mind, ototo?” He asks as he walks around his desk to approach me and when he stands before me, I’m looking up at the most powerful demon alive. I feel a flicker of pride when I realize that he bares my marks down his front; although they have already begun to heal. The thought is intoxicating and my mind wonders to images of raking my claws down his body in more ways than one. My eyes dilate slightly and my expression darkens; the images in my mind swing wildly back and forth between lust and violence.

 

“Yes.” I respond and without realizing it, a low rumble rises out of my chest as my claws lengthen against my thighs; there is so much rage trapped inside me. His youki flares slightly and he arches an eyebrow. Silence hangs around us until I finally growl back at him. “How did you get Kagome’s hair?” Then I see it, the smallest of micro expressions that flashes across Sesshoumaru’s face. No one else would have caught it but I know him better than anyone alive and I’ve had plenty of time to study him up close. What I saw a moment ago was undeniable and another flicker of pride wells up inside myself.

 

Disappointment. He was disappointed.

 

He stares down at me for a moment longer before he turns and motions for me to follow him. I stand and we walk towards the far wall of his office. From floor to ceiling, the wall has been transformed to an elaborate investigation board. As I scan the wall, I realize that both ningen and youkai deaths are emphasized. Then I notice a particular thread along the side of the wall that highlights an Okami clan I know very well. My fingers lift a pinned document and underneath it is a photograph of a dead woman in an apartment.

 

Although her body is covered in blood, I can make out her red hair and in an instant, I recognize her. “Kami-sama, what the hell happened?”

 

“We have been tracking a series of youkai murders for the past two years and initially the incidents looked like isolated events.” He starts as he looks blankly at the wall.

 

“What, like territorial battles gone wrong or some shit?”

 

“Indeed.” He grunts and moves to a small table near the wall. “Two years ago the deaths were inconspicuous and only involved lower ranking youkai.” He picks up a slim remote control and the large flat screen on the adjacent wall flickers to life. As he scrolls through the many tabs he has open on the screen, I look back at the photo of Ayame and the headline of a newspaper clipping next to her picture catches my eye; ‘Fire Kills 143 in Nightclub’.

 

“I remember this fire— this used to be one of your clubs, right?”

 

“It was not just a club Inuyasha, it was a safe house.”

 

“A safe house? Who the hell were you trying to protect Sess—?” I look back at him and stop in mid-sentence when he stares at me keenly. He has his arms crossed over his chest and his expression is cold. We stay like that for a while before he speaks again.

 

“When we began to notice the pattern, the frequency of the incidents increased and several of the weaker clans came to me for protection; including the Okami Prince you once battled with.” My mind is suddenly plagued with a million questions. What pattern? Why would Kouga need Sesshoumaru? How did this have anything to do with Kagome?

 

I look over my brother’s shoulder to the flat screen behind him and see an image of what once was the basement of the burned down club. It didn’t look like a crime scene photograph, more like a picture taken with a cellphone, except for the charred bodies all over the floor. I walk around Sesshoumaru to get a better look and when I do, I can make out that more than half of the bodies in the room were children; Okami children. I can also see that several of the dead were in their true form; piles of wolf bodies that burned together as they panicked for the doorway. Then I notice the most chilling detail of the picture.

 

The doors were chained shut. From the inside.

 

“What happened Sesshoumaru?”

 

“Shortly after the Okami Prince came to me for help, we were notified of an entire Kitsune clan that was destroyed in Shikoku.” He raises the remote and the image on the screen changes to satellite pictures of a mountain town. I can make out what looks like bodies scattered about the roads and there was a particularly large group of bodies lined up in front of a temple shrine. “Women and children; the old and the sick– there were no survivors.”

 

“Kami-sama…” I trail off and my stomach drops. He clicks the remote again to begin to scroll through close ups of the village and it becomes clear that the attack must have happened suddenly. “…who did this?”

 

“At this time, we suspect ningen.” He says flatly and I turn back to him in disbelief.

 

“Humans? Why the hell would humans target youkai after all this time, especially Kitsune? They rarely leave Shikoku and never get involved with things outside their village.”

 

“Why indeed ototo.” He grunts and turns the screen off. “After the events in Shikoku, my council decided to house the Okami’s people until we could make sense of what had happened and why. We were in the process of evacuating several Okami towns and homes when a daycare of wolf pups was raided. Luckily there were no casualties but it was decided to gather all the remaining Okami young until protected living arrangements could be made.”

 

“Your club—you turned the basement of your club into a shelter.”

 

“Of a sort, yes.” He answers and turns back towards his desk to dig through a pile of folders. “We do not know how yet, but we believe that the safe house was sabotaged, whether by an Okami traitor or a human spy.”

 

“If it was a spy, wouldn’t there have been a ningen body?”

 

“Logically.” He says dismissively.

 

“But all the bodies in the basement, they look like youkai.”

 

“Yes Inuyasha.” He looks up at me with sharp eyes and walks back towards me carrying a thin folder.

 

The wheels in my mind begin to turn and I’m trying to piece all the moving parts together when a thought hits me. “Where is Kouga?” When my brother comes to stand near me again, I start to roll the sleeves of my red shirt up over my forearms, suddenly agitated and eager for answers. I can already feel my sense of morality to get involved pulse through my body.

 

“We do not know.” He replies plainly and I look up at him when he holds the file out to me. I reach for it but he tightens his grasp on it before I can take it from him. He glares down at me and purses his lips. “There is no going back ototo, what is done is done.” He releases his hold on the file and I furrow my eyebrows at him. “But if you join me, you may be able to avenge the ones you cared for.”

 

My hands carefully open the thin folder and my eyes widen. I look down at a copy of a police report I already know so well. Thumbing through the pages, I come to a photograph I knew would be in there and my heart drops. After a long pause, one of my fingers trace down the side of the picture. Pale skin and black hair. Twisted metal and congealed blood. “Kagome…” A hiss escapes me and I feel pure rage well up inside my body again; my lips twitch and my eyes begin to bleed red.

 

“It was not an accident ototo-san.” He says quietly and I can feel his youki wash over me in an attempt to calm my fury.

 

I can feel my cheeks burn as jagged stripes rise over my skin and when I look back up at Sesshoumaru, all my anger rides on the surface. “You… you knew… all this time…” I growl threateningly at him and my own aura flares back at his suffocating youki.

 

“Yes.” He answers coldly and his eyes narrow down at me. “Logically you are also a target, Inuyasha.”

 

My red eyes fall back down to the documents in my hands and a feral sound resonates from deep within my chest. This is why he asked me to join his Yakuza a year ago. This is why he has kept such a close eye on me all this time. This is why he asked me to stay with him. My brother is right, there are many things I don’t know about him, many things I don’t understand. But through the bloodshot haze of hatred in my mind, there is one thing I do understand. My brother, Sesshoumaru, the strongest Daiyoukai alive, can offer me something no one else can.

 

He can offer me what my human heart craves and my demon soul demands.

 

He can offer me closure and vengeance.

 

The folder in my hands is quickly forgotten on the floor and moving faster than I thought I could, my body is against the Daiyoukai; my lips crush into his and my fingers snake into his long hair. Sesshoumaru growls approvingly and reaches down to claw through my shirt and peels the torn fabric from my chest. My mouth moves down to drag my elongated fangs against his neck and I bite down into his collar bone. He snarls and I can scent his desire when his youki flares around us provocatively. My hands move around his front to shove him back and he allows me to win that simple battle.

 

Both our breathing is ragged and I can see his muscles ripple under the skin when he flexes his claws in a come-hither motion to me. I growl back at him and crack my knuckles before I lunge at him with all my strength. My bare shoulder collides with his middle and we tumble back into his couch violently; my father’s fang falling to the floor again. I bite at his exposed ribcage and he grabs a handful of my hair to yank my head back. I lick his blood off my lips suggestively when I’m forced to look up at him. His expression darkens and he cranes my head back painfully to expose my neck. I hiss when he leans into me and his fangs find my pulse point.

 

I’m half kneeling between his legs with my chest over his lap when my claws come to his torso again. I retrace down the healing lines from earlier, enough to draw blood, but not as deep this time. His eyes bleed red and his nostrils twitch. Before I know what is happening, he uses my hair to pull me into an angry kiss and I refuse to surrender my mouth to his tongue. Instead I push back into the kiss and war with him for dominance as I claw my way up into his lap completely. I reach for his shoulders and score the skin there.

 

He growls eagerly against my mouth and his other hand comes up over my face when he pulls back. Two of his fingers force their way into my mouth and I bite down aggressively. He roars and yanks his fingers back to slap me hard across the face; the force of the blow causing the inside of my cheek to break against one of my fangs and I’m tasting my own blood when I glare back at him. I flash him a wild smile and his hold in my hair tightens when I run my tongue up his chin. He is impossibly hard and I grind down into him, my own arousal painfully trapped beneath the fabric of my pressed pants.

 

I turn my face into the arm of the hand in my hair and begin to suck at the skin there as my hands travel down his front. Our red eyes lock with each other and he hisses when I begin to roughly palm him; wetness staining the front of his pants. My other hand is busy pulling my own length out from behind fabric and I’m half bucking into my hand and pushing against his lap. He groans when he scents my arousal and drops both of his powerful hands to my thighs to pull me up with him as he stands. I reach for the back of his neck to stabilize myself and cry out when he turns and all but throws me down onto the leather couch.

 

He is on me in an instant, his mouth heated and hungry against my lips when he yanks at the waist of my pants. His claws rip into the skin of my hips and I growl as he pulls the rest of my clothing off violently; boots and all. In the back of my mind, I doubt that anything survived, and I idly wonder how the hell I’m going to walk out of his club later tonight clothed. He pulls back from me and I’m gasping for air when he stands over me. My legs fall open and I reach down with both hands to stroke myself eagerly as I watch him quickly undress himself completely. I run my tongue over my swollen lips and nod approvingly when he leans back over me to claim my mouth again.

 

He steps between my legs and grabs my hips to drag me down into a prone position on his couch. He kneels between my open thighs on the leather and one of my hands reaches out to pump his impressive arousal. He growls and hoists my legs up over his shoulders with a grunt; leaving only my shoulders pressed into the couch and my ass up over the front of his lap. Slick with his essence, my hand falls away from him and reaches down under my excitement to rub at the tight ring of muscle there. It won’t be enough but neither of us really care at the moment. I toss my head back and moan as I stroke myself and rub against my sticky fingers; putting on an erotic display for my brother’s viewing pleasure.

 

“Enough!” He barks and I look back up at him with a feral grin; his stripes are jagged and his bangs are matted against his slick forehead. My hand falls away from between my thighs to join the fist around my weeping length. He runs one of his hands down the outside of my thigh to brace the back of my hip and he holds up his other hand to his mouth to spit into it. Sesshoumaru quickly strokes himself with his wet palm before he positions himself over me and pushes forward insistently.

 

I hold my breath and stroke my arousal in earnest to cut the searing pain with as much pleasure as I can. It’s not close to being enough and I’m screaming out in pain with my head twisted back into the leather of the couch. The hot crown of his cock breaches me and I can feel myself tear around him slightly. My eyes pinch shut and my ears flatten against my hair. “Ah Fuck! OH FUCK!”

 

If I was looking up at Sesshoumaru in that moment, I know I would see the wicked smile on his face spread nearly from ear to pointed ear. There is very little in this world that the Daiyoukai loves more than inflicting harm on others and he relishes in the scent of my pleasure mixing with pain and panic. He snaps his hips forward to bury himself to the hilt and I howl desperately. His hands grab the fronts of my thighs over his chest, his claws sinking into my flesh, as he braces one foot on the ground near the couch. I know what is coming next and my ribcage heaves to catch my breath before the assault begins.

 

Sesshoumaru sets a brutal pace and as he bucks into me with abandon, I’m pumping my cock wildly to chase down ecstasy as quickly as I can. There is nothing intimate about what we are doing and neither of us is really concerned about the other’s pleasure. This is an exchange of power and pain, of supremacy and submission, and both of us are lost in our own conquest. Soon I’m able to beat back the terrible pain with pleasure and I’m beginning to meet his thrusts as best I can; angling my hips to try and help him strike the place inside that makes me see stars.

 

His hips rock me forward so hard that one of my hands has to push back against the armrest over my head to keep myself from crashing into it. Our red eyes lock again. I grind my teeth at him as I continue to stroke myself violently and I quickly become more and more desperate as I feel my climax build. Sesshoumaru can sense this in me and drops my thighs from over his shoulders to around his hips to lean over and grab ahold of the armrest above my head. He thrusts viciously into me and crushes his mouth over mine again.

 

I rip my lips from his and I’m screaming again but for a different reason now. His pace increases to an impossible speed that I’m sure would split a human in two and I can hear the furniture beneath us begin to break under the pressure of our wanton fucking. I nearly miss myself falling over the edge and for a moment I can’t register what is happening when I begin to cum; hot waves of white searing both our bellies and chests between us. I cry myself hoarse and throw my head back into the leather.

 

Sesshoumaru bellows above me and the room seems to shake with the force of his youki pulsating through the air. His fists are around my neck a moment later and he squeezes so hard that I can’t breathe. My hands cover his as my instincts to survive kick in even over the mind numbing orgasm. He is sneering down at me, his face hovering over mine, and he looks positively savage. I can feel my own heartbeat around his hands and the pressure behind my eyes builds until my vision goes black. With a booming roar, the Daiyoukai finishes inside me, filling me with his hot seed and I’m close to unconsciousness when he finally releases his hold around my neck.

 

I’m hopelessly dizzy and disorientated as air comes flowing back into my lungs and sensation comes back to my face in the form of millions of pinpricks. My limbs are heavy and flop around me as if they were weighed down. My body feels like it’s on fire and numb at the same time and I hardly register the couch giving way beneath us entirely; the sudden sensation of falling only jolting me enough to make me gasp pathetically beneath my brother.

 

My head rolls to the side and I can feel him grab my chin to press a less desperate kiss into my lips. I try to reciprocate but I can’t even bring myself to move my lips. I feel him press his face into the juncture of my neck and shoulder; his other hand sweeps my damp hair away from my skin so he can scent me properly. I think he is talking to me but all I hear is the pounding of my own blood in my ears.

 

I want to touch him but I can’t make my hands move; I want to look at him but I can’t make my eyes open.

 

It has been such a long time since I felt such peace and surrender that it is profoundly tempting to just let myself slip away entirely. But then I feel a static charge fill me up from deep within my chest and I feel an energizing heat flow throughout my body. I gasp for air suddenly and my gold eyes snap open. I feel a rush of power pulsate through me so strongly that for a moment I don’t even feel connected to my own body. All I see is white, brilliant white, and I’m being lifted away from this world entirely.

 

Then I can hear it, my name. Someone is calling my name.

 

As the white fades around me, my vision clears and I can see a face hovering over mine. Vivid gold peers down at me and the look of concern is so striking that I forget to breathe. Then he shifts over me, inside me. I feel cool fabric under my body and I smell the calming scent of sandalwood. I blink the confusion from my eyes and realize I’m staring up at my brother, not from the broken couch of his office at the club, but from his bed in his penthouse apartment.

 

“Inuyasha.” He says quietly and the only word on my lips to reply with is not a word at all.

 

“Sesshoumaru.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fandom: Inuyasha  
> Title: The Black Door  
> Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Inuyasha (Inuyasha POV)  
> Rating: Explicit  
> Spoilers: None  
> Summary: Inuyasha struggles to deal with the loss of his mate  
> Disclaimer: I didn't create nor do I own Inuyasha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Not beta'd  
> **Comments = LOVE
> 
> Enjoy! ^_^

Chapter Four

 

 

Only the sounds of our labored breathing fills the space between us and my bangs move with his breath. He pushes his arms under my shoulders to comb his claws through my hair and gently rub my ears. I moan softly and raise my hands up over his biceps as I turn my head into his touch slightly. It’s an incredibly intimate touch for me and something I haven’t experienced since Kagome died. Sesshoumaru begins to massage my ears with earnest and as if they have a mind of their own, they start to droop with pleasure in his grasp.

 

Having my ears touched this way is more intimate than I’m comfortable being with my brother though and it reminds me of his kisses. But despite my reservations, I can’t help but close my eyes and lose myself in the touch for a moment; it feels so good.

 

He presses his forehead to mine and takes a long inhale of my scent. I know he is scenting me completely in that moment; in a way that a hanyou never could. Even other full-blooded youkai don’t possess the abilities my brother does. As a Daiyoukai, his heightened senses can detect nearly everything about me. My body and my blood, my heart and my soul. He can scent it all.

 

He takes in all of me in that moment and I’m struck with a sudden awareness that echoes in me like a bell.

 

Part of me wants him to.

 

I’m abruptly very aware of his weight over my body and between my legs. I furrow my brows and I purse my lips. What I do with Sesshoumaru is not meant to be emotional. I refuse to allow myself to become connected to him that way. I tell myself that what we do is just sex, an exchange of power and passion. What we do is only for physical release. Nothing else.

 

I do not love my brother.

 

My mood sours and with a low growl, I roll my head away from his face. When my eyes open again, I’m looking up at his intense gaze. There is something in his gold eyes I haven’t seen before, a depth that I didn’t know existed, and it disturbs me. My ears twitch against his fingers in annoyance and I squeeze his arms. “Stop Sesshoumaru.” His expression changes and the gold of his eyes sharpen. His hands against my skull finally still though and I find myself pushing against him.

 

He stares down at me in silence and his brows crease slightly but after a few moments, he is pulling his arms out from under me. When he moves to sit up, I become acutely aware of how we are still connected and I cry out sharply. My thighs jerk around his hips and I dig my claws into his arms. “Shit!” I hiss and pinch my eyes shut. This is the most pain I’ve ever felt after submitting to him and I’m shocked at how badly my body hurts.

 

Then I remember how we got here and with dread I realize that his entire Yakuza must have heard us. What had happened in his office has never happened before; a rush of memories flood into my mind. In my demon state, I had acted like a feral bitch in heat and challenged Sesshoumaru’s baser nature, on purpose. Kami-sama, what the fuck is wrong with me? I groan desperately in both physical pain and raw embarrassment. It has been years since I’ve lost control of my beast and now my body is left to pay the price.

 

He continues to pull away and his shoulders slip away from my reach. “STOP—stop Sesshoumaru!” He doesn’t respond to me and I’m panting as my ears flatten against my head. I can feel him run his hands down my torso to grasp the tops of my hips as he settles into a low kneeling position under my thighs. Still buried inside me as he moves, my body clenches around the Daiyoukai involuntarily and I hiss in pain. I hear him grunt above me and I squint my eyes open to look at him; his eyes are closed in hard concentration and his lips are tight in a frown.

 

For a moment, I find myself staring at him. It is very rare that I get to see his face screwed up like that.

 

Suddenly his eyes snap open to catch mine. I feel like I’ve been caught doing something I shouldn’t have been doing and dart my gaze away. Then my face pales when I feel him pulsate inside me and I jerk my head back up to look at him. He rocks his hips forward in the smallest of ways and in a panic, I squeeze my thighs around his hips to stop him. “Don’t even think about it asshole!” A sinister grin breaks across his face and he drags his claws down to my chest and narrows his eyes. “I mean it Sesshoumaru—get off me!”

 

He just grunts again and runs his palms over the tops of my thighs to hook his hands under my knees. With a vice like grip, he pries my legs wide open around him and I’m suddenly feeling overwhelmingly exposed to him. I struggle against his grip but only succeed in flexing my flesh around his fists. Dread runs through me when he looks down between our bodies and my sensitive nose can smell his renewed arousal. My hands reach for his under my knees and I bite my claws into his skin in an attempt to get his attention.

 

It has the opposite effect on the Demon Lord and I can hear him begin to growl threateningly over me as his eyes bleed red in bloodlust. Very real fear grips me and then I say something I never say to my brother. “Please…” It was little more than a whisper but his sensitive ears caught it and his angry eyes travel up the length of my body to lock with mine again. His predatory side rides close to the surface and lust is reflected back at me when I feel him swell painfully large inside me. His hips press forward again to grind against me and hot agony blossoms between my legs. I catch a sound in the back of my throat and my lungs forget how to breathe entirely when he does it again but harder this time. “Sess—Sesshoumaru…”

 

Glowing red glares back down at me and he snarls. I know there is really nothing I can do in that moment to stop him and he knows it too. But he doesn’t move and his grin fades. My hands move up to his wrists and I whisper again. “Please… Sesshoumaru… I can’t take anymore right now.”

 

He tips his head to the side inquisitively and his silver hair falls over one of his shoulders. The tension between us is palpable and I can feel him pulsate inside me again. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I wonder if I’m getting through to him. I suck my lower lip into my mouth and chew on it with apprehension. Then my eyes widen in horror when he tightens his grip under my knees and a split second later, my world is ripped open.

 

I scream and throw my head back into his bedding when he pulls himself from inside me suddenly. My cries melt into a high pitched inu whine and I break into a cold sweat. I screw my eyes closed when hot tears spill over the tops of my cheeks. My body is trembling and the distinct scent of sex and blood fills the space between us. I can feel both spill out of me and begin to soak the bedding beneath us.

 

Somewhere in the back of my mind I realize that my brother granted me mercy but it’s hard to think about anything other than the agony between my legs. My hand comes up to my face and I’m biting on my own fist when I let out the breath I was holding in a series of sobs; pride be damned in that moment. “Fuck… F—Fuck…” I choke out between clenched teeth and reach my other hand down to gingerly prod at my bleeding entrance. I can feel a hot sting with my touch and a deep throb each time I try to flex my muscles.

 

It will take a lot longer than it usually does to recover this time.

 

With wet eyes, I glare up at the Demon Lord when he releases my legs and moves to step off the bed. He turns towards the bathroom suite as if nothing has happened and leaves me on his bed to seethe at him. I pinch my eyes shut again and carefully stretch out my legs along the sheets. When I turn my head against the pillows, I can feel the terrible strain in my neck and I remember how the bastard nearly killed me with his bare hands. I honestly don’t know what my demon was thinking in trying to taunt The Killing Perfection into mindlessly rutting in his office. I pull my fingers from between my legs to look at the red and white evidence of our recklessness. I start to remember more details of what had happened when I hear my brother turn on the water in the bathroom.

 

My ears swivel when he walks back into the bedroom and I lock eyes with him. He has his hair pulled back in a low ponytail and is holding a damp washcloth when he stalks back towards me. A warning rumble escapes me before I have a chance to stop it as he comes to sit next to me. The mattress dips slightly with his weight and as he reaches over me to take my bloody hand with the rag, I scent something I’ve never scented on my brother before.

 

Regret.

 

My growl stops short with a look of genuine surprise but before I have a chance to say anything, Sesshoumaru’s youki swells around us and presses down over me. I feel his energy lick at my skin as if he is searching for something and a protest dies on my lips when his gold eyes find mine. The washcloth is forgotten on the marble floor a moment later and he is leaning over me. “Inuyasha.” He says quietly and my ears tilt back slightly when he pushes his arm under my shoulders to pull me into an upright position.

 

Every muscle in my body screams at me when he helps me move and pained sounds falls out of me alongside curses when he helps me swing my legs over the edge of the bed. With no small amount of support from Sesshoumaru, I limp into the massive bathroom suite and come to find that he had filled the inlaid tub with water. My hold on his shoulder tightens when he helps me step over the lip of the tub and I groan when I settle fully into the warm water.

 

The size of his bathtub is palatial and I easily have room to lean back completely in the water, even after he steps in himself across from me. My eyes close and I let my mind drift off; the hot bath doing wonders for my sore muscles. My ears flatten so I can dip my head in the water and begin to scrub at my scalp. My white hair has always been soft, downy even, but in the water it feels like silk and my claws run through it easily. Before I realize it, my mind is reviewing the photos I’d seen in my brother’s office earlier. My stomach churns when I think of the Okami children that burned to death and the bloody end Ayame came face to face with. I grit my teeth when I think about Kouga’s disappearance.

 

But I’m pulled out of my thoughts when Sesshoumaru grabs one of my feet in the water and my head snaps up to look at him. “Oh right, you’re here too.” I say sarcastically and he only raises an eyebrow in response before he begins to rub the bottom of my foot with his thumbs. He always knows how much pressure to use on me and before long I’m moaning under his careful attentions. I rest my arms up around the lip of the tub and tilt my head back as he moves from one foot to the other.

 

This kind of attention is another thing I didn’t expect when I first started sleeping with my brother. He would often spend time touching me after we would rut with each other and in the beginning I resisted it; just like his kisses. One of my inu ears flickers to rid itself of the water when he pulls my foot to his lips and places a kiss over the top of it. He presses the side of his face into my foot and his other hand glides up the underside of my calf when he finally speaks. “Have you made your decision, Inuyasha?”

 

“What decision?” I look back at him.

 

He pulls my foot away from his face and pushes it back into the water to shift closer to me. He runs both his hands up under my legs and begins kneading the muscles under my thighs. “To join my Yakuza.”

 

“I have to join your gang to track down the fuckers responsible for Kagome?”

 

“Yes.” He replies flatly and moves my legs in the water around his hips so he can settle between my thighs. I scowl up at him as his face comes to hover over mine again.

 

My eyebrows furrow. “Why?”

 

He leans further into me and presses his face into my hair to whisper. “Because those are my terms Ototo-san. You may choose whether or not to accept them but know this…” He pauses long enough to speak directly into one of my ears “…without my help, it is unlikely you will uncover the truth.”

 

“And you can’t find it in your heart to help me just because I’m your brother, heh?”

 

“Half brother.” He corrects me curtly and nips the shell of my ear, making me jerk my head away from him. When he pulls back enough to look down at me, his eyes are practically glowing with that same depth I saw earlier. His arms come up around me and he braces his palms against the wall of the bathtub under my arms. He moves with all the grace of an apex predator. As he continues to stare at me, I feel a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, and suddenly I have an overwhelming urge to break the tension between us.

 

“Oh fuck you Sesshoumaru.” I scoff at him and roll my eyes sarcastically in an excuse to turn my head away.

 

One of his wet hands comes to my chin and carefully turns me back to him. “That is not an answer, Inuyasha.”

 

There really is no use in arguing with the Daiyoukai and we both know that I will agree to pretty much anything for the chance to find the people responsible for the death of my mate. But still, I can’t believe that after almost two years of successfully dodging his recruitment efforts, I’m finally being pulled into his underground syndicate. What would Kagome think if she saw me now?

 

“Tanaka won’t like it you know.” I reply with feigned nonchalance.

 

“The tatsu’s feelings are of no concern to me.” He offers with genuine indifference and silence hangs between us for a long time.

 

Eventually I take a deep breath and stare at him challengingly. “Fine—I’ll join your stupid gang Oniisan, but don’t think for a second that you can order me around like the others. I’ll join as your equal.”

 

He raises an eyebrow and tilts his head to the side. “My equal, Ototo-san?”

 

“That’s what I said.”

 

His face darkens and his hold on my chin tightens. “I have no equal in this world, Inuyasha.”

 

I grab at his hand to pull it away from my face and he lets me. “Well, now you do Sesshoumaru.”

 

Long after the heat left the water, and my brother left the tub entirely, my body finally heals enough for me to get out on my own. I walk stiffly to one of his sinks and lean over it to take a long look at myself in the mirror. The bruises around my neck are starting to settle in and I have several claw marks along my shoulders and chest. I chastise my inner demon for provoking the Demon Lord earlier and I rip one of his plush towels off the rack behind me to head back into his bedroom. Sesshoumaru is laying back on one side of his bed, examining a polished box in his hands, and I can see Tessaiga leaning against the foot of the bed next to Bakusaiga.

 

With embarrassment, I realize that I completely forgot about my inheritance and when I come to the opposite side of his bed, my heart drops when I remember the other item left at his club. But as if my brother could read my mind, he interrupts before I have a chance to properly panic. “In here, Inuyasha.”

 

When I look across the mattress at him, he is holding the black box out for me and I grab for it instantly. My fingers open it and I sigh in relief when I see the omamori knot inside. “Kami-sama.”

 

“Close… but I am no God, Ototo-san.”

 

I look up at him ready with something offensive but stop short when I get a good look at him. His lower half is covered with the bedding but his chest is bare and even in the low light of the night, my sharp eyes can see everything. The Daiyoukai’s pale skin is littered with the marks of my demon’s violent passion. I have never seen so many wounds on my brother’s skin and they are all in varying stages of healing apart from one. The bite mark on his ribcage isn’t bleeding but it looks fresh and angry.

 

“Did I… do all that to you?” I’m whispering for some reason and I carefully close the jewelry box in my hands as my eyes find his.

 

“Indeed you did Ototo-san, or rather, your demon half did.” He answers and just stares back at me impassively.

 

A small part of me thinks I should apologize but a strange feeling begins to boil up inside me and I’m stuck somewhere between guilt and pride. I let my gaze travel over his wounds again for a while longer before I turn my head away. I’m chewing on my own lip when I place the black box on the bedside table and tug at the towel around my waist. It finds its way to the floor and I’m suddenly exhausted when I pull down the comforter and climb into my brother’s bed beside him.

 

Laying on my side with my back to him, I stare out at the room without really seeing it and after a long pause, I can hear him settle into the bed fully. Stillness hangs between us again but this time, it’s heavy and oppressive, like the weight of a thousand words are suspended in the silence. If I was looking at him, I would have seen the great Demon Lord on his side, staring at my back with that same depth reflected in his gold eyes from earlier.

 

But I’m not looking at him and my mind wonders to how we even got here. How did my relationship with my half brother get so complicated?

 

Then the memories find me.

 

It was me who first came to him seeking some kind of comfort a little over a year ago, in my human state. I was so drunk that night that I was ready to do anything just to feel something with another person and what he gave me was something I couldn’t explain. What I felt with Sesshoumaru that night was something I never felt before and I was caught somewhere between fascination and dismay when I withered beneath him. He did things to my body that I didn’t even know was possible and he showed me sensations I had never experienced before.

 

It was just as dark and primal as it was cathartic and liberating.

 

It shouldn’t have happened in the first place though and I avoided him like the plague afterwards, but as the weeks went by, I would come to him again and again. Soon, what should have been a mistake that we never talked about, quickly turned into the late night visits I shamelessly pay the Daiyoukai now.

 

But what happened in his office tonight was the first time we had exchanged power and passion in my true demon form. What had happened tonight makes our first night together pale in comparison. What happened tonight was different.

 

A part of me wants to close my eyes and pretend it didn’t happen at all but a bigger part of me just desperately wants to label whatever it is that we are doing together and contextualize it somehow. I feel like everything is changing now and there is a growing connection between us that I just can’t explain.

 

A connection that, like the look in his eyes, terrifies me.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fandom: Inuyasha  
> Title: The Black Door  
> Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Inuyasha (Inuyasha POV)  
> Rating: Explicit  
> Spoilers: None  
> Summary: Inuyasha struggles to deal with the loss of his mate  
> Disclaimer: I didn't create nor do I own Inuyasha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Not beta'd  
> **Comments = LOVE
> 
> Enjoy! ^_^

Chapter Five

 

 

When sleep finally found me, it was a very deep sleep and I feel like I’m floating above my own body when the morning slowly starts to wake me. But I’m really not interested in joining the world of the living just yet so with a soft groan, I turn my head into the pillows and shift my legs to lay on my belly. Just as I start to feel like I’m drifting away again, something irritates one of my ears and I flicker it absentmindedly until the bothersome sensation stops.

 

I take a deep breath in the pillow and stretch my legs out under the bedding. Soon I’m sinking back into sleep when I feel it again, something tickling the inside of my downy ear, and this time I twitch it harder with genuine annoyance. Suddenly the sensation intensifies dramatically and tickles the fur deep inside with enough persistence that I have to jerk my hand up to scratch at the inu appendage with earnest.

 

“What the hell…” I start with a groggy sound and peek open my eyes to come face to face with my brother’s gold gaze. He is propped up on his elbow next to me and I furrow my eyebrows at him when he leans over me and deliberately blows into my ear again. I fold it down against my hair protectively and dart my hand out at his face to claw at him. He dodges it smoothly and raises an eyebrow in reply. “…that shit’s not funny Sesshoumaru.” I growl softly.

 

“I disagree, Ototo-san.” He says in his usual baritone and leans back over me but I shove my face into the plush bedding and cover both my ears with my hands.

 

“Asshole—just let me sleep!” I complain into his pillows.

 

“Why should I?” He asks quietly and I feel him brush my hair away from my shoulders and neck.

 

“Because I had a rough night and I’m fucking exhausted!”

 

He just grunts this time and I feel the mattress dip before his lips find my shoulder blade. Despite my annoyance, I can’t help my sigh of relief when his inhumanly warm hand comes up to the same shoulder blade and begins to rub deep into the muscle there. He shifts to get closer to me on his elbow as he begins to rub my shoulders with his hand. He always knows how much pressure to use on me and all too soon, I’m melting into the soothing touch. I pull my hands away from my ears and shove them under the pillows, completely content to allow myself to drift back into the space between sleep and awareness.

 

His kneading deepens and my upper body rocks from side to side with the circular motions of his hot palm. When he presses into a particularly knotted muscle, I moan into his bedding and roll my own shoulders to aid in releasing the knot. That’s when I feel his lips on my skin again, this time at the back of my neck, and I sigh as he continues to rub down my back. I lift my head and turn it towards him before I lay it back down. He doesn’t look at me right away so I have a chance to study his face. Sesshoumaru is a much less restless sleeper than me and he barely looks disheveled while I’m sure I look like a wild animal; my white hair fanned around me haphazardly.

 

“You are staring again, Inuyasha.” He says flatly without meeting my eyes and I scowl at him even as I feel the heat of embarrassment rise on my face. I’m about to reply with something witty when his hand drifts lower suddenly and begins to squeeze the flesh of my backside under the blankets. Now I know where he’s headed with all this and I tense under his touch.

 

“Sesshoumaru—I really can’t this morning.” I start and attempt to prop myself up when he leans his weight over me and presses his face into one of my ears.

 

“Calm yourself Inuyasha.” He offers in a husky whisper and I feel a tremor of excitement run down my spine as he kisses the side of my neck. The hand on my backside moves to grab the comforter and he tosses it off my body entirely before he leans over me properly. The Daiyoukai presses open mouthed kisses down the line of my back and pauses only to offer a soft nip here and there. His youki rises around us and I can feel the calming efforts of his energy as I relax under his touch again.

 

It’s intoxicating when he does that to me.

 

He comes to rest his face at the low of my back and I feel his clawed hands spread over the top of my hips and reach under my thighs to graze his fingertips across the sensitive skin of my growing arousal pressed into the bed. A breath catches in the back of my throat and I close my eyes when he tugs at my thighs to urge me to prop my lower half up on my knees ever so slightly, giving him just enough space to close a hot fist around my length. I groan loudly and push my face back into the pillows as my hips rock forward into his grasp.

 

His other hand comes back around my hip and begins to massage my backside again as he pumps me slowly; alternating between a tight and slack fist. I’m moaning around small sighs as we fall into a lazy rhythm together. He begins to suck and nip at the skin above my tailbone; where I might actually have had a tail if my father’s genes weren’t strong enough to produce a decent hanyou with my mother. I shiver with each electric lap of his tongue and my toes curl against the bed. He had discovered that sensitive spot on my body several months ago and now he never misses an opportunity to pay homage to it.

 

I’m so lost in my own pleasure that I nearly miss it when he spreads me open and dips down to drag his tongue over my sore ring of muscles. My head snaps up with a startled shout and I’m twisting around suddenly; my hand blindly reaching for his face in a panic. “Wh—what are you doing?!” My claws find his hair and his grip on me tightens when I strain to peer over my shoulder at him. His eyes are tinted red and he locks his gaze with me in a predatory stare that makes me shiver for a different reason entirely.

 

Without looking away from me, he growls darkly and pushes his face harder into me, making me gasp. He begins to mimic what he was doing just moments ago to my tailbone and before I can protest again, I’m struck with a dizzying wave of pleasure. I’ve never felt this before and I’m quickly losing my ability to form a proper line of thought as his tongue rolls and glides against my puckered opening. He squeezes my weeping cock with his pumps and I nearly go cross-eyed as my head falls back into the pillows with a choked groan.

 

My hand falls away from his hair and I brace myself up on my elbows. I find myself thrusting into his fist and bucking against his mouth in tandem; caught between the two sensations and unable to determine which one I crave more in that moment.

 

He seems pleased with that reaction as his pace quickens and he growls against my skin approvingly. I can feel the Demon Lord begin to transfer his youki into his attentions and my abused flesh from last night is healing faster than my natural cycle could have done on its own. I’m panting into his bed frantically and mumbling something obscene. Every fiber of my being is zeroing in on the dual sensations he assaults me with and I’m being pulled taut. Then I arch my back desperately when the tight cord of pleasure inside my body snaps suddenly and I come tumbling over the edge. My hips jerk wildly against him and I’m shouting into the pillows with my hot release.

 

He continues to pump my length as I quickly begin to become overstimulated. Then he pulls his face back to nip at the flesh of my backside and I’m riding against him, moaning without shame into his bedding when he finally slows. I’m eventually able to raise my head enough to catch my breath. “What was—that… that was fucking amazing.” I pant out incoherently and turn my head over my shoulder again to look at him.

 

He just grunts and rises up onto his knees on the bed as he uses the end of his comforter to wipe my seed from his hand. My eyes dart down to his obvious arousal hanging heavy between his legs and I’m about to offer a solution to his situation when he slaps my ass apathetically and moves to step off the bed. “Come Inuyasha, the morning is half spent and there is much to do today.” I watch him with confusion as he stalks into his bathroom suite like we didn’t just do the dirtiest thing I could’ve ever imagined.

 

I blink a few times in disbelief.

 

I can hear him turn the shower on and with a groan, I drop my head back into the pillows, my entire body feels relaxed and languid. Rolling to my side to slide out of his bed, I find myself looking down at the black box on the bedside table. I blush furiously and turn the jewelry box away from me as if Kagome could see what we just did and I head into the bathroom myself.

 

After several minutes in Sesshoumaru’s shower, with most of the time spent on my knees repaying him for his morning attentions, we are busy getting ready for the morning. While I towel off, I think about the time I just spent looking up the length of my brother’s body in the shower. I had noticed that his wounds were all healed except for my bite mark; though it looked considerably better this morning than it did last night. I’m still trying to figure out why it hasn’t healed entirely when he walks past me in the bathroom and I have a feeling he knows more than he is letting on about it.

 

When I walk back into his bedroom, I turn towards his walk-in closet. It was his idea that I keep some essentials at his place and I’m grateful he had suggested it. I would’ve walked out of the Taisho Industries tower buck naked that morning if I didn’t have a change of clothes handy. 

 

He already has an earpiece on and is in a deep conversation with someone on the other end when I walk into the kitchen; dressed in a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt with my hair up in a messy warriors knot. My brother on the other hand, is groomed and dressed to the nines like always, in a sleek black suit with a steel gray shirt and black tie. I tune his conversation out and open his fridge. “Thank the Kami…” I trail off when I see that he had someone do the shopping and I grab the makings for a good sandwich… or two.

 

I sit on the stool across the bar counter from him with a plate piled high with more than one overstuffed sandwich. He gives me a disgusted look and thumbs through some paperwork in his hands when I take a large bite and have to quickly lick my fingers when the innards of the sandwich comes out the back end. I pay him no mind and concentrate on devouring the much needed carbohydrates when he turns over his shoulder to eye the mess I made on his kitchen counter.

 

With an annoyed voice, he ends his conversation and gathers his paperwork before he walks around the bar towards his living room. “You are an animal, Inuyasha.” He says coldly when he walks past me and I shrug off his insult as I eagerly dig into the second sandwich. When he comes back, I’m almost done with my late breakfast and I’m looking up at him with confusion when he holds out the watch I tried to swipe earlier that week. The silver Rolex is bulky and beautiful and he wears a nearly identical one on his own wrist. “I believe you wanted this.” He offers indifferently but when I reach for it, he pulls back and motions between my hands and the sink in his kitchen.

 

I pause for a moment before I roll my eyes and hop off the stool with my plate to put it down in his oversized sink. After I wash my hands, I walk back to him and he places the expensive watch in my palm. I quickly clasp it in place on my wrist and give it a good shake; a perfect fit. “Thanks.” I say with a grin and make to walk past him when his clawed hand grabs my arm to stop me.

 

He turns to look down at me and I’m frowning at him when he speaks. “There is much to do today, Inuyasha, you will need to come with me.”

 

“I need to get home Sesshoumaru.”

 

“The shrine is not your home, Ototo-san.” He says quietly and I narrow my eyes at him

 

“In this world, in this time… it’s the closest thing I have to one.” I try to jerk out of his grasp but he holds fast and my scowl quickly turns into an angry glare.

 

“Do you not remember that you have agreed to join my Yakuza?”

 

“You want to do all that today?”

 

“Yes.” He answers flatly without offering any other explanation but his tone tells me that I have very little choice in the matter. To my brother’s credit, he rarely insists on exercising his will over me these days, but when I look up at him now, there is something reflected in his gold eyes that tells me I’m better off just agreeing with him on this one.

 

I finally sigh in defeat and he releases his hold on me. “Okay fine. But what’s the big rush?” Sesshoumaru doesn’t answer as he straightens his suit and turns towards the living room. I find myself following him expectantly. He has both our swords waiting for us on the foyer table and I reach for Tessaiga only after he takes Bakusaiga. Had I been looking at him, I would’ve noticed his narrowed eyes but I’m too busy tying the sheathed fang to the belt loop on the hip of my jeans.

 

There is a knock on his front door and I look up in enough time to see an all too familiar dragon youkai walk in. We eye each other briefly before he turns to bow deeply to my brother. “The cars are ready, Sesshoumaru-sama.” The Daiyoukai doesn’t acknowledge him more than slightly motioning to his briefcase on the floor near the heavy black door. The tatsu respectfully takes my brother’s briefcase and holds open the door for us to exit the penthouse.

 

The private elevator waits for us and when we stand together in it, my eyes catch Tanaka’s in the mirrored walls. He and I glare at each other in silence and I see his nostrils twitch slightly to take in my scent. I grit my teeth and crack my knuckles with my tight grip around Tessaiga. I know what he’s doing and I hate him for it. Up until that moment, I had forgotten about what happened last night at the club and now I’m fighting back humiliation with anger. We continue to stare at each other with such focused abhorrence that we both miss the fact that my brother is watching us in the mirrors.

 

The elevator chimes open on the lobby floor and Sesshoumaru casually speaks before he steps out. “Tanaka-san, Inuyasha has accepted my offer and will be initiated into my organization later today. You will be honored to serve him as you have served me all these years.” The sudden look of horror and shock on the tatsu’s face was enough of a confidence boost for me that I actually turned and winked at him with an evil grin when I move to follow my brother out into the lobby.

 

Both youkai and ningen in the lobby part ways for my brother as he stalks across the marble floor towards the many doorways leading outside. The tatsu has to rush to get ahead of Sesshoumaru to open the doors for us. Parked outside were three black Mercedes sedans and other members of my brother’s Yakuza hold open the doors for us to step into the middle car. As soon as we are settled in the seats, Sesshoumaru presses a button to raise the black glass separating us from our driver and the convoy pulls into the busy street to take us to his headquarters.

 

I’m looking out at the streets around us from behind heavily tinted windows when I feel the Daiyoukai’s youki flare around us. I turn to look at my brother but he just stares out in front of himself. “This place is soundproof, even to youkai ears, Ototo-san.” He begins coolly and my gold eyes dart around the space we occupy; with the black glass raised over the front seat section it almost looks like we are in a private sitting room.

 

“Yeah, what’s your point?” I ask with mild interest and shift back into the soft leather seats.

 

“You must not allow yourself to be concerned about our… activities in my office last night.” He finally says and turns to look directly at me. My face glows red almost instantly and I rip my head to the side to look out the window again. There is a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach and I chew on my own lip. We have never actually talked about what it is that we do and now my ass of a brother wants to discuss it in his car? What a bastard!

 

“Fuck you Sesshoumaru, I’m not having this conversation with you here!” I hiss at him.

 

“This space is soundproof, Inuyasha.” He replies impassively and I turn to glare at him, but before I can say anything, he continues. “They will accept and respect you because I will demand it of them. No one will dare to slight you in any way once you have been initiated, Ototo-san.” His expression darkens as he turns to face the black glass again.

 

I’m left to stare at his profile and I’m completely at a loss for words.

 

Then my eyes widen when I notice the stripes on his cheeks begin to go jagged and the gold of his eyes begin to bleed red. The small space between us suddenly pulsates with his angry youki and my own aura swells around me defensively. I deftly reach for the hilt of my sword without looking away from him, entirely unsure what to expect from the most powerful demon in the world sitting next to me.

 

His eyes flicker to my hand with a threatening rumble and when he speaks again, his voice is deep and inhuman. “If they dare to insult you with their words, I will remove their tongues and force them to eat it. If they dare to offend you with their actions, I will break their bodies and bathe in their blood.” There is a heavy silence between us and I swallow thickly. I haven’t heard my brother’s voice like that in a very long time and I’m acutely aware of the fact that the last time I did hear him speak like that, he was trying to kill me.

 

And had almost succeeded.

 

He seems lost in his own violent thoughts and the air around us becomes nearly suffocating with his painful youki. I idly wonder if the driver can feel the savage energy rolling off Sesshoumaru and I’m desperately racking my mind for a way to calm him somehow. Suddenly I remember a time when Kagome once pulled me from the abyss of my demonic insanity. With very deliberate motions, I let go of Tessaiga and slowly reach over to touch my brother’s hand.

 

He snarls and turns to me abruptly. I jerk my hand away from him and my ears flatten.

 

The viciousness in his face is enough to strike fear into the core of any demon and I forget how to breathe when he locks his eyes with mine. I begin to say his name but his furious growl cuts me off and I realize that looking directly at him in his current state can be interpreted as a challenge to his beast.

 

I drop my gaze and try again but this time I address him differently. “Oniisan.” His nostrils twitch and his eyes narrow before they begin to clear. Almost as quickly as it all started, the Daiyoukai I know as my brother comes back to the surface and his youki is pulled back. He blinks a couple times and looks me up and down.

 

“Inuyasha.” He says coolly.

 

I release the breath I was holding in an aggravated sigh; the rush of oxygen in my lungs making me lightheaded. “What the hell Sesshoumaru!” I glare up at him before I turn away and roll my window down, suddenly in desperate need of fresh air. He just furrows his brows at me and sits back slightly as if he has no idea what just happened and maybe he doesn’t. I always have a hard time remembering what my demon does and says when he takes control unexpectedly.

 

We sit in silence for the rest of the ride to his club in Kabukicho and I can feel his eyes on me every now and then but I refuse to look anywhere but outside my open window. I can feel that same feeling start to creep up inside again. A connection is building between us that is changing the dynamics of our… arrangement.

 

There are so many thoughts running through my mind now and I don’t know what to do with myself. On the one hand, I felt elevated with his declaration of protection. But on the other, I was terrified at the level of savagery it provoked in his demon. In one breath, I felt inexplicably drawn to him on a primal level. But with another, I was struck with a deep need to submit to his supremacy in a way I haven’t done before.

 

I groan in frustration and rub my forehead as we pull up to his club. One simple thought rings in my mind at that moment, with such a perfect clarity that it chills my bones.

 

Sesshoumaru’s Yakuza are all fools if they don’t truly fear my brother’s wrath.

 

I’m ripped from my trepidation when I hear his voice, though I didn’t catch what he said and I snap my head up to look at him. He looks down at me with sharp gold eyes and as my door is opened for me by our driver, I ask. “What did you say?”

 

His eyes narrow slightly before he repeats himself. “Are you ready, Inuyasha?”

 

I realize that I was much more sure of myself and my decision to join my brother’s gang last night than I am now and I can feel uncertainty creep into my human heart. We stare at each other for a long time but I don’t answer him. Instead my sensitive nose picks up the undeniable scent of my brother’s blood and my gold eyes look down at the wet spot soaking into the side of the Demon Lord’s black suit. Right above where I know he bears a persistent wound my demon inflicted upon him the night before.

 

When I look back up at his gaze, I can see that same depth from before mixed with something else that I never thought I’d see up close in Sesshoumaru’s eyes.

 

Pain.

 

Very real pain.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fandom: Inuyasha  
> Title: The Black Door  
> Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Inuyasha (Inuyasha POV)  
> Rating: Explicit  
> Spoilers: None  
> Summary: Inuyasha struggles to deal with the loss of his mate  
> Disclaimer: I didn't create nor do I own Inuyasha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Not beta'd  
> **Comments = LOVE
> 
> Enjoy! ^_^
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>  
> 
> ****ATTENTION****
> 
> My instagram account will have images of my fanart associated with this work and my other stories if you are interested in checking them out but BE WARNED, many of them are NSFW!
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> User: Jeshide
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> Link: https://www.instagram.com/jeshide

Chapter Six

 

 

If I wasn’t so preoccupied with my own situation, I might have noticed the ningen across the street from the club when Sesshoumaru and I walk in. Had I been looking, I would’ve seen what looks like any other human you’d see walking around the Kabukicho district during the day. He’s dressed like me and with the duffle bag he carries, he looks like a student or maybe a laborer. If I was paying attention, I would’ve noticed that his eyes are locked on to my brother and the bulky watch he’s wearing isn’t a watch at all, but a discreet camera.

 

I’m sure Sesshoumaru would have noticed him too, and all the other members of his syndicate for that matter, if we weren’t all paying attention to the smell of my brothers blood. It’s rare that the Daiyoukai bleeds at all and some small part of me feels pride in the fact that each time he has, I was the one who did it to him.

 

The inside of the club looks completely different when we enter. With the sharp light of the day, I’m taken aback by how big the space really is. Without all the people and the smoke, the dance floor is quite large and all the raised platforms look empty with just the steel poles jutting out of them. All the mystique and romance of the space is gone and except for the bar on the first floor, I almost don’t recognize anything.

 

I’m sure there’s some kind of metaphorical significance to that revelation.

 

I have to quickly step to the side when the bartender from the night before walks past me with a large crate of imported alcohol. “Watch it hanyou! I don’t want you breaking anything again!” She sneers at me and walks around the first floor bar to the glass staircase leading to the second floor. My ears tilt back in annoyance and I’m sorely tempted to pick a fight with her but before I have a chance to, Tanaka steps out in front of me to follow her up the stairs quickly. There was something off about his scent just then and I furrow my eyebrows. I can scent desire on him... and concern.

 

When I turn to look over my shoulder, I see that Sesshoumaru is still in the foyer of the club, speaking with the older youkai from the night before. The disfigured one who dared to say Kagome’s name out loud at the meeting. I strain my ears somewhat to listen in on their conversation and I watch as my brother motions to the blood soaked stain on his suit. The old youkai bows, mentioning something about ‘anti-venom’, and turns to head back out of the club all together. When the Daiyoukai turns to me, our eyes lock from across the hallway and I feel something pulsate between us.

 

“Are you ready, Inuyasha?” He asks as he approaches me.

 

“I’m here aren’t I?” I answer with dramatic sarcasm in an effort to defuse the tension between us. It seems to have the opposite effect though and I feel Sesshoumaru’s youki flare around me when he comes to stand next to me. He doesn’t look at me, but gazes out at the empty dance floor instead, and when he speaks again, I feel the electric energy of his youki press down against me in frustration.

 

“This is no trivial thing, Inuyasha. Once you are initiated, you will be bound to my Yakuza—bound to me—forever and I will not have your juvenile conduct tarnish my organization in any way.”

 

“Hey, just remember who was recruited by who here Sesshoumaru!” I glare up at him with a hiss.

 

“Whom.”

 

“What?”

 

“The correct vernacular you are looking for is ‘who was recruited by whom’, Inuyasha.” He says smoothly and moves to adjust his tie. Before I have a chance to be properly offended by his arrogance, I feel an ancient presence enter the club and both of us look towards the doorway. My eyes are impossibly wide and every hair on the back of my neck stands on end. My grip on Tessaiga tightens instinctually and I have an overwhelming urge to step slightly behind my brother. Primal pride is the only thing that keeps my legs firmly planted on the ground.

 

“Sesshoumaru.” Her voice rings out smoothly and her lack of an honorific confirms my suspicions instantly.

 

“Haha-ue.” The Daiyoukai replies coolly and his youki disperses almost immediately as she approaches. The two great inu youkai eye each other with cold indifference for a long time and I feel like I might actually go completely unnoticed by her. But just as I’m about to thank whatever Kami granted me invisibility, her sharp eyes find mine and my blood runs cold.

 

“This must be the spawn of the ningen woman who had lain with my mate all those centuries ago.” Being completely unsure if she is talking to me or talking at me, I just stare at her blankly with the intention of making little to no sudden movements. She narrows her eyes in irritation before she barks. “Come now, are you not of Izayoi’s ilk? Or do you not possess the ability to speak, hanyou?”

 

I can feel Sesshoumaru eye me expectantly and I purse my lips to bite back my sudden need to defend my mother’s honor to the great inu demoness before me. “Inuyasha, my name is Inuyasha.” I reply curtly and bow slightly.

 

“Ah—it does speak, how very fortunate!” She says with disingenuous interest and cracks open an ornate fan she had in the sleeve of her black and purple kimono. Even without her mokomoko, she looks like she belongs in a different time. She fans herself elegantly and turns to the glass staircase, followed closely by her own set of subordinates. She is devastatingly beautiful and after meeting her face to face, there is no question in my mind where my brother gets his striking appearance. But the inu demoness is just as frightening as she is lovely and I take a deep breath when she walks away.

 

“Gee Oniisan, thanks for the warning about meeting your mother today.” I growl.

 

“It was not confirmed that she would be attending so there was no use in broaching the subject with you.” He offers coolly and walks towards the stairs, but behind his confident façade, is the undeniable scent of anxiety and I raise my brows in shock.

 

“I’m surrounded by emotionally conflicted demons today…” I trail off absentmindedly as I turn to follow him and suddenly feel a sharp slap of his youki across my face. “Fuck! What the hell Sesshoumaru?” I cup my cheek defensively.

 

He doesn’t acknowledge me as we ascend the steps and once we pass by the black door at the top, we make our way through the dark hallways to his private lounge on the second floor. What looks like the majority of Sesshoumaru’s Yakuza are all standing and looking at us expectantly when we enter. The room is hushed as we walk down the two polished stairs onto the inlaid marble floor. I feel the overwhelming urge to step behind my brother again when all the sharp eyes of the full blooded youkai fall on me and I grit my teeth in an effort to maintain my composure.

 

As I look around the room, I make a mental note that the female bartender and I are the only two not dressed formally. We both are wearing jeans and a simple shirt. She stands next to Tanaka with a blank look on her face and when I turn to her, she refuses to meet my gaze directly; keeping her eyes downcast instead in… submission? I narrow my eyes and look her up and down. She shares a remarkable resemblance to the tatsu next to her and with an inquisitive sniff, I realize that they are siblings. Her dark hair is pulled down her back in a thick braid and her skin has the same sunglow as Tanaka’s, though she doesn’t have any visible tattoos on her arms.

 

“You are all aware of why I have summoned you here today.” The Daiyoukai starts. Each of the other youkai in the room bow deeply to him, except for his mother, who stands proudly near the far corner of the room with her bodyguards. “Today, Inuyasha will be initiated into my organization and will serve as my second in command.” His youki flares around the room and he eyes each of the members of his Yakuza, silently challenging anyone who might be tempted to speak out against his decree. I look up at Tanaka from across the room, half expecting a complaint from him but he stands just like the rest of them; in a bowed position with his eyes on the floor.

 

A heavy silence hangs in the room for what feels like an eternity before a smooth voice rings out from the far corner. “Excellent! Now to the washing and sakazuki rituals.”

 

I look up at the great inu demoness from across the room and catch her eyes as she begins to fan herself again. Her lips pull up in an arrogant smile and she tips her head back slightly in a show of status. My eyebrows furrow and I glance around the room quickly before I look back at her. Rituals? Washing? Why didn’t Sesshoumaru tell me any of this?

 

“Come. Let us begin.” He says smoothly and my hold on Tessaiga tightens. A set of double doors are opened on the far wall that lead to an open space that seems entirely out of place when compared to the rest of the club. Sesshoumaru’s mother and I follow him into the strange room and once we enter, the rest of the group begins to file in.

 

The room is lit with unforgiving florescent bulbs that hang from chains on the ceiling, the walls are steel and the floor is tiled. I watch as his Yakuza line the perimeter of the space and I realize that I had walked right into the center of the tiled floor. The room smells like chemicals laced with blood and I look at the metal drain on the floor in front of me with apprehension. My ears swivel when I hear the doors close behind us and I turn to see Tanaka bolt them. I eye the rest of the youkai and note that his sister was no longer present. When I look back ahead of myself at Sesshoumaru, his gold eyes are glaring down at me with an expression I can’t explain.

 

He stands at the middle of the back wall, his hands clasped around Bakusaiga over his lap and his mother stands a couple steps behind him to his left.

 

“Inuyasha.” He says coldly, his voice echoes against the steel and tile. “You will remove your clothing and wash your body.”

 

My ears dip back defensively and my nostrils flare. He wants me to do what?!

 

“This is a ritual that all members of my Yakuza must submit themselves to.” He adds and I find myself stealing a couple nervous glances around the room. I’m so on edge that I nearly flinch when a younger member of his council approaches me with a metal bucket of water and a bar of lye soap. He bows to me and places both at my feet before he turns to head back to the wall. I stare down at the water and soap for a long while before I look back up at my brother. I finally take a deep breath and resign myself to the ridiculous ceremony.

 

My shirt is hastily pulled over my head and I toss it behind me on the tile before I begin to toe off my boots and socks. I reach down to unbutton my jeans when I remember I had tied my father’s fang to the belt loops on my hip. One of my hands comes over the sheath and after I finish unfastening the leather ties, I turn to carefully lay the sword down over my pile of cloths. I straighten myself and with my back to my brother, I finish ridding myself of my bottoms before I turn around to stand completely naked before him. 

 

I know that under the harsh lighting, each and every mark on my body is visible. The sharp eyes of the full blooded youkai in the room don’t miss the bruises around my neck and the healing claw marks down the front of my thighs. A part of me knows I should be embarrassed but when I look back up at Sesshoumaru, we lock eyes and the rest of the room seems to fade away between us. Something pulsates between us again and I can almost hear his voice in my mind. The voice is calming, reassuring even, and I can feel my anxiety dissolve. 

 

Washing myself in front of my brother and under the unforgiving gazes of his Yakuza was far easier than I expected. As I dump the rest of the water over my head to rinse myself, another member of his council sets down a small table before me with two porcelain cups and a bottle of sake. I wipe my face and my ears flicker off the excess water. This part I’m familiar with. I lean down to fill a cup with the rice wine and lift it up as an offering to Sesshoumaru. The Daiyoukai takes it and slowly sips from the cup majestically without breaking eye contact with me.

 

When it’s empty, he hands it back to me and I wait patiently for him after I put it down on the table. After a short pause, he leans down to pour a cup of sake himself and holds it out for me. I take it and knock the wine back quickly, clearing my throat afterwards; I never really liked the stuff. Sesshoumaru gives me an approving nod to demonstrate his acceptance of my membership and I bow to him to show my loyalty. The rest of the room bows to both of us and a moment later, the table is taken away by another member of his Yakuza.

 

Relieved to finally be done with the ceremony, I turn back to my clothing intent on redressing. But when I hear my brother’s warning growl, I snap my head back up at him in both concern and confusion. He just narrows his eyes down at me and I stand still. My gaze is ripped from the Daiyoukai when the inu demoness behind him chuckles softly and lifts her fan to hide her menacing smile. Then my eyes and ears catch the movement around the room and I look around to see each council member begin to remove their jackets. Followed by their ties, weapons and pressed shirts.

 

I look back up at Sesshoumaru in a small panic but he just continues to glare down at me and tips his chin up slightly. My ears flatten against my head and I turn to look around the room as each of the youkai turn away from me. Then my eyes widen when I see the intricate designs on each of their backs and realize that they all bear a tattoo of a great inu demon; surrounded by repeating designs and patterns. My sharp eyes can see that the lines of the images are raised against the skin slightly. Before I have a chance to ask what’s going on, I hear the all too familiar sound of my brother’s toxic whip crack against the tile floor and I jerk my attention back to him.

 

“You will kneel, Inuyasha.” He growls and I have to swallow down the urge to curl back my lips and bare my fangs. I narrow my eyes in defiance and refusal. His jaw tightens in anger and wrath. We both stand firm and stare each other down, both unwilling to yield. His whip is pulled back into his hand and the air around him shudders as his youki flares around the room violently. “Kneel you impetuous pup!”

 

“No.” I growl flatly and raise both my clawed hands out in front of me in a defensive stance. His eyes bleed red immediately and the sharp scent of his blood from his wound spikes when he lunges out at me in a rage. With a confidence I didn’t know I had, I met his attack head on to challenge the Daiyoukai. When we come together, the room shakes with the explosive energy each of our demons expel and several of his Yakuza are knocked to the ground. Tanaka rebounds almost immediately and makes to intervene with a couple other larger youkai when the royal demoness barks at them to stay back.

 

After an impossibly short struggle, he has me by the throat with one hand and puts me to the ground hard enough that the tile breaks under my back. His other hand is raised threateningly, dripping with poison, as he snarls down at me in a crouched position over my body. Even though I’m no match for the greatest demon alive, my inner beast refuses to let me back down. I claw up at his face as my own eyes bleed red and jagged stripes blossom over my cheekbones. My claws catch his angry magenta stripes and rake across his face brutally to spill his blood.

 

“The Great Dog Demon bleeds again!” I roar in triumph like a feral animal and open my mouth wide to catch his blood in my mouth and swallow salaciously. I feel a coil of energy well up inside me and I curl my leg under his torso to kick at his wounded side. He thunders above me and swipes his toxic hand down, the blow landing across my face with enough force to crack my head into tile and disorient my fury. I’ve lost vision in my right eye completely and his poisonous claws rip down my leg at his side to yank it away from his wound. There is a soul-searing scream that fills the room and I don’t even realize it’s my own voice when his venom begins to sink into the flesh of my leg; making it tremble and shake in agony.

 

“You WILL submit to me!” He booms and the air quakes around us again. He lifts my stunned body up by my throat and slams me back down into the broken tile face first before he comes to kneel over the low of my back. “You will submit to me Inuyasha!” He rumbles sadistically and grabs what’s left of my warriors knot to crane my head back painfully and howl directly into one of my sensitive ears. “You will submit to me in EVERY! SINGLE! WAY!”

 

In my half blinded and rage dazed state, my fangs elongate and I begin to claw weakly at the hand around my neck, snarling as I try to pull my head from the fist in my hair. I pinch my eyes closed and roar against him. “NEVER!”

 

Then the energy swirling around us seems to stop suddenly and the air hangs suspended around us when he whispers forebodingly into my ear. “Always.”

 

My red eyes snap open and all the suspended power between us gathers into the fist in my hair. He releases my hair and pulls it back to raise it high over his head. The youki pulsating around his clawed hand glows bright green before he slams his palm into the center of my back, between my shoulder blades and over my spine. Glowing green lines radiate from his palm and over my back as the image of a great inu demon in full youkai form begins to sear into my flesh. As each line crawls over my skin, I feel the energy rip deep into my body; as if the lines were drawn straight through me and could cut into the tile beneath us.

 

The image being scorched into my back is different from the matching images the others bear.

 

The inu being printed on my flesh is not an ordinary youkai at all, but a Daiyoukai with large arms and powerful shoulders. A crescent moon over his brow and matching sets of jagged stripes along his open canine muzzle. A giant fur rolls down his back and his tail is fanned out behind him. The image itself takes up the majority of my back and the paw jutting out from the design comes over the dip of my back and down one of my ass cheeks with massive extended claws. 

 

I’m screaming again, or at least I think I am.

 

Soon the only thing I can hear is the pounding in my own head as the vision in my good eye begins to fade. When he finally pulls his hand away the glowing stops instantly and the energy dissipates around us. The smell of gore and branded flesh fills the space between us and blood flows from my body; running smoothly between the grout of the tiles and spills down into the metal drain at the center of the broken floor. I have precious little energy left in me; both my conscious mind and inner beast feel numb to reality in that moment. My motionless face lays on a bruised cheek on the wet tiles and I stare blankly out at one side of the room. My demon has receded back into the recesses of my mind and my eyes are so dilated that only a thin ring of gold circles the deep black.

 

I feel like I’m floating and completely detached from my own body. My eyes don’t register the disturbed expression on Tanaka’s face or the equally horrified looks the other youkai have standing next to him along the wall I’m facing.

 

Sesshoumaru is panting above me and his fist around the back of my neck tightens when he shifts back to get a good look at the image burned into my back. The wound at his side bleeds profusely now and the entire side of his suit is soaked in his own blood; the trail of which running out along the tile grout before it joins mine at the drain. He growls approvingly at the image and traces a claw over the raised lines as his lips curl back to expose his elongated fangs. His red eyes ghost up over my shoulder and the hand on my neck tilts my face further into the wet tile to expose the back of my pulse point to him; the juncture where my shoulder and neck meet. A sinister smile crawls across his wild face as he moves to lean over me again and whisper into one of my downy ears.

 

“In every single way, Ototo-san.” He turns his face into my damp hair to take in my scent long and hard, his eyes roll closed and a dark groan rumbles out from somewhere deep inside him. He opens his mouth wide, intent on taking my pulse point with his fangs when a shrill voice cuts in.

 

“Sesshoumaru, STOP!” He snaps his head up and looks behind himself at the great inu demoness. She stands straight, her hands at her sides with an ornate fan crushed under one of them. She eyes him with an alarmed expression and whispers. “Not like this.”

 

As if the Daiyoukai suddenly became aware of his surroundings, he slowly looks around the room and at the members of his Yakuza. The red of his eyes begins to fade back to gold and the wicked smile fades from his face entirely when he looks down at my limp body. He jerks his hands away from me as if my skin burns him and my face rolls slightly on the tile. His nostrils flare but he composes himself almost as fast as he reacted just moments ago and rises smoothly to stand over me.

 

He pulls one of his arms away from his side slightly to follow the trail of his own blood soaking down his suit and onto the floor. Then his eyes come to my exposed body on the broken tile and he quickly unbuttons his jacket to slip it off his shoulders and cover my nakedness. He crouches down and carefully rolls me over, adjusting his jacket to wrap around me slightly. He pushes an arm under my shoulders and something dark crosses his face when he looks down into my blown out eyes. He pushes his other arm under my knees and rises again to his feet. My arm hangs heavy from my side and my head falls back against the inside of his elbow.

 

I’m watching everything happen from outside my own body.

 

Sesshoumaru glares up at the youkai standing before the double doors and they scramble to unbolt them as he approaches. The Daiyoukai stalks through the open doorway and past a shocked female demon on the other side. She stumbles slightly to get out of his way and quickly makes her way to her brother. “What happened, Tanaka-kun?” She hisses in a whisper. He grabs her by the upper arm and claps a hand over her mouth to silence her, never taking his eyes off the Daiyoukai’s back. She struggles slightly until the smell of blood hits her and she looks over his shoulder at the scene inside.

 

The disfigured Yakuza from before is also waiting on the other side of the doors and bows deeply, holding out a small package but the Demon Lord just snarls dismissively and walks past him. As Sesshoumaru reaches the far wall of the private lounge, his youki flares bright white, and with a heavy static charge, both he and I disappear from the club entirely.

 

Abandoning an utterly dismayed group of full blooded demons in his wake.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fandom: Inuyasha  
> Title: The Black Door  
> Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Inuyasha (Inuyasha POV)  
> Rating: Explicit  
> Spoilers: None  
> Summary: Inuyasha struggles to deal with the loss of his mate  
> Disclaimer: I didn't create nor do I own Inuyasha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Not beta'd  
> **Comments = LOVE
> 
> Enjoy! ^_^

Chapter Seven

 

 

I’m walking in a field, the sun is on my back and I’m looking up a grassy hill to the hut where my mate waits for me. I wave to a monk that I know very well. He carries two little girls on each of his arms and his pregnant wife laughs when he struggles to hold them. Soon my own mate will bear me my first born and I grin when I think of the many pups I plan to give her. I continue passed my friends and pick up my pace up the hill; I smell her cooking.

 

As I come to the door, I can scent her fully now and my soul reels with pride when she turns to me with a warm smile and a swollen belly. I carefully place my sword down near the doorway and hold open my arms when she comes to embrace me. I lean my face into the side of her neck and she giggles when I kiss her there. She pulls me into a short but proper kiss before I kneel in front of her and reverently hold her belly through her kimono. I press my forehead into her and I can scent the pup she carries.

 

Her belly moves suddenly and I rumble with approval, the pup recognizes me and rolls inside my mate with excitement. Her soft hands come down to gently stroke my inu ears and I lift my head up to smile at her. She is so happy in this moment and her face is radiant to me. “How do you feel?”

 

“I feel really good, Inuyasha.” She gleefully replies and suddenly warm tears spill over her cheeks though her smile never fades. “I—I think it’s going to work this time. This is the longest I’ve gone so far and Kaede says we’re both doing fine.” She sniffles quietly and swallows back stronger emotions.

 

The human heart beating inside my chest swells and I’m close to tears myself when I look back down and press the side of my face into her belly again. I wrap my arms around her tightly and breathe into her kimono. “I love you so much Kagome, now and forever, I love you so much.” Then I feel a soft kick against my cheek and I whisper to my unborn child. “And I love you, more than you can ever know… or even understand.” 

 

But now I’m walking in the rain, the moon glows above me and I’m looking out at the rice fields below our hut on the hill. Behind me, my mate wails with despair and pain in our home. She calls my name in a mix of desperation and rage, a mix of grief and defeat, and I look down at the lifeless bundle in my arms. This time tears freely fall from my gold eyes and a force more powerful than the beads of subjugation brings me to my knees in the mud.

 

Inside our hut, Kaede tries to console my mate but with each of her broken wails, and choking sobs, I can hear more of her soul die inside.

 

It was a good birth this time, and when I look down at the body of my son, I don’t understand why he is not alive. He looks so perfect in my arms and somewhere in the back of my numb mind, I want to believe he’s only sleeping.

 

“I want my mom!” She cries desperately in the hut behind me and my heart breaks into a thousand pieces. “I—I want to go HOME! Do you hear me?! I WANT TO GO HOME!”

 

She used to call this place and time her home.

 

I look up at the bright moon above me and stare into the cold white light. Without blinking, more and more of the light fills my vision and soon all I can see is white. Brilliant bright white. It swallows me up whole and I feel like I’m floating, completely unconnected from my body and from this world all together. I feel like I’m suspended above time and space but I’m moving faster than I ever thought I could. I can sense all of myself, all that I was and I am now; and all that I might yet become, exists in this moment simultaneously.

 

Somehow I know that if I blink now I’ll come crashing back down to reality; neither my conscious mind nor my inner beast wants that. So with slow but strong resolve, my eyes fall closed with the intent of never opening again. Blackness chases away the brilliant white light and I fall deeper into the abyss.

 

My human heart wishes to pass away from this world all together; the tiny broken pieces of it only held together with worn threads too weak to handle any more devastation. 

 

But the persistent sensitivity of my sharp senses begins to pick up my surroundings. A familiar scent pulls me out of the dark and back into the light. Not the brilliant white light from before, but the soft and warm light of the sun that comes through tall windows and spills over a gray headboard above me. I take a deep breath and taste sandalwood in the air. Another deep breath and I can tell I’m not alone.

 

Very slowly, and with considerably more effort than I thought it would take, my gold eyes pry open and I’m looking up at a familiar ceiling. My body feels impossibly heavy and I blink a couple times to be able to focus on what I’m seeing. From the corner of my eye, I can see a familiar shade of silver and I cautiously tilt my head to the side to get a closer look. But the face I see looking at me isn’t my brother’s, though the resemblance is striking.

 

“Welcome back to the world of the living, hanyou.” She speaks quietly and gracefully reaches over me to remove a large indigo pendant from my chest. The inu demoness carefully places the stone back into an ornate silver jewelry box on the bedside table and sits back in her plush chair besides the bed. All I can physically bring myself to do is lazily blink a couple times at her. She really is beautiful and moves with the same hypnotic smoothness as her son.

 

The Killing Perfection, she had named him, and he lives up to those words in every single way. Excellent breeding and flawless genes that created a true apex predator.

 

Unlike the duality of my own existence; the lineage of something close to the Kami mingled with all the raw impurities of mortality.

 

I let my gaze drop slightly to take in more of her and I notice she isn’t wearing the formal kimono from before, but a simple light blue one with silver trim and her hair is combed back but left to freely fall over her shoulders. “The stone has healed you of your physical injuries and has brought you back from the place between this world and the next, but your mind is still worn and your body is weak.”

 

My lips crack open slightly and I attempt to respond to her but she holds her hand up to stop me. “Hush, hanyou, do not waste your energy.” She takes a deep breath and crosses her legs under her kimono. When she shifts further back in the oversized chair, I can see her mokomoko draped behind her and as if it has a mind of its own, it snuggles up to her cheek when she leans back into it. I never understood the pelts that royal inu youkai had or how they worked. Until now, I had nearly forgotten about them entirely as it’s been over two centuries since Sesshoumaru used his.

 

She reaches over her shoulder to rub the fur like one would stroke a beloved pet and her sharp eyes soften when she speaks again. “I imagine there are many questions you have, hanyou. My son may be the most powerful creature on this planet but he does not tend to share his thoughts and knowledge freely with others, even to those that are… significant to him.”

 

My head nods slightly in agreement and she smiles a little. “This world is not what his father and I thought it would be and perhaps, lacking the foresight your mate had, we did not raise him to participate in such a world.” There is a long pause between us and her eyes glance over my head to look out the tall windows behind the headboard. She seems far away in that moment and I roll my head back into the pillows again to try and focus on my body under the gray bedding. I’m slowly flexing my fingers and toes when I feel a sudden tug inside my body and realize that though my injuries are indeed healed, the ghosts of the wounds linger. Like a deep soreness that can’t be soothed. Pieces of the events leading up to this moment start to come back to me and I feel my inner beast begin to wake inside the back of my mind. If I could see my demon, I would see him limping with his tail hung low between his legs and his ears drooped down in exhaustion.

 

“You are quite fortunate, hanyou.” She says and I turn towards her to see that she’s looking at me again but with contempt in her eyes. “My son could have truly destroyed you, and would have been well within his rights to do so. What you have dared to do has never been successfully done before and were we living in another time, you would have been executed for your actions.”

 

I furrow my eyebrows as she continues. “Long before I mated Inu no Taisho, it was common place to hunt and put down hanyou offspring such as yourself, for fear of what is happening now.”

 

She watches me carefully and my expression darkens with intense confusion. She arches a single silver brow and tilts her head. “Do you not know what I am referring to, hanyou?”

 

I slowly shake my head and the anger in her eyes fades slightly. “Did you not claim your human mate in the inu way?”

 

Having no idea what she’s talking about, my face screws up with even more concern. “Did you lie with your human in your demon form?” She clarifies and my eyes widen in horror at the implications of her question. Of course I didn’t do that to Kagome! My demon wouldn’t have had enough self-control and she would’ve suffered tremendously at the hands of his bloodlust.

 

Before I know what I’m doing, my head is shaking back and forth vigorously and she leans back into her mokomoko again. “How interesting…” She trails off and brings her hand back up to stroke her fur absentmindedly.

 

“The un-healing wound my son bares along his ribcage, you did that to him while in your demon form, yes?” I nod carefully and she continues.

 

“This happened while you two engaged with each other… sexually, yes?” My cheeks burn with embarrassment but I slowly nod again.

 

She stills her hand in her fur and asks quietly. “Has my son placed a similar mark on your body, hanyou?” I don’t quite know how to respond to her this time. Sesshoumaru has marked me several times, with his claws and teeth, with his passion and his seed. But unlike the bite mark my demon left on him, all those things eventually fade. “This mark would have been different, hanyou. It would have been most likely placed on your neck, along your pulse point. And into it he would have poured part of himself—part of his power and even part of his own life force.”

 

After considering her words carefully, I shake my head and her expression darkens again. “Foolish hanyou.” She hisses and pulls her lips back slightly to bare her fangs to me. “What you have done is far worse than I expected and the consequences will be devastating if you do not find a way to correct the terrible wrong you have done to my Sesshoumaru.”

 

My brows crease and I unconsciously begin to chew on my lower lip. “In your demon form, foolish hanyou, you marked my son—the greatest demon this world has ever known—as your intended. His wound will not heal until he has accepted you as his mate or until you are dead. His demon will be driven to madness around you and for the sake of you until one of those two outcomes come to pass. For all intents and purposes, foolish hanyou, you have attempted to elevate yourself to the second most important demon alive—second only to my son—an honor you will never live up to and could never hope to fully understand.”

 

Her youki flares with anger and disgust when she stands from her chair beside the bed. Her mokomoko gathers around her shoulders and she glares down at me with evil looking eyes when she reaches for the silver jewelry box. “Know this, foolish hanyou, I came here today to bring you back from the brink of death only because my son asked me to. Now that I understand what you have done, I rue pulling you back and I will not do it again, even if my Sesshoumaru asks it of me.”

 

Suddenly her youki swells and my ears fold back, bracing myself for the impending attack. She narrows her eyes as a bright green spark of energy radiates from her similar to my brother’s toxic whip. Just as it darts out to strike at me, there is a sudden rush between us and a blur of off-white, followed by the sharp scent of burning flesh. I pinch my eyes shut and my breath is held stuck in my lungs as I wait for the wicked burn to settle over my body, but it never does. I can hear the demoness gasp in shock and my eyes snap open.

 

Suspended between us, twisted in a protective stance, is Sesshoumaru’s mokomoko.

 

She and I stare in disbelief and neither of us move. Her youki disperses and Sesshoumaru’s injured pelt slowly coils over my body in the bed. What could only be described as the long tail of it, dips under the blankets to wrap around my leg almost like a snake and the bleeding end of the pelt hovers between us defiantly.

 

“Sesshoumaru…” She murmurs in shock before her gold eyes find mine. The expression she wears is something I can’t explain and she takes a careful step forward. The pelt tightens around me as she whispers. “…are you certain?”

 

“Yes.” A cool baritone answers and both of us jerk our heads up to find the Demon Lord standing in the doorway of his bedroom suite. I’ve never seen him so disheveled outside of heavy battle. His breathing is slightly labored, his eyes are tinted red, his long hair is unruly, and his side bleeds steadily into a now ruined pressed shirt.

 

The inu demoness turns to face her son fully and opens her mouth to speak but the glare he shoots her silences her. The two Daiyoukai eye each other for a long time before she finally straightens her stance. When she turns back to me, her eyes are cold and unforgiving. “An honor you will never live up to and could never hope to fully understand.” She whispers before the plush chair, the silver jewelry box and the demoness herself disappear in a flash of bright white youki.

 

When her youki could no longer be detected, Sesshoumaru lets out a harsh breath and slumps slightly against the doorway. He lifts a hand to the bleeding wound on his side and growls when he applies pressure to it. My nostrils flare when the scent of his blood reaches me and I’m shocked when, through the heavy metallic taste in the air, I can also scent something I know very well on him.

 

Myself.

 

A deep rumble resonates from his chest and my eyes find his from across the room. He struggles to hold back another growl and moves to enter the room fully. In his other hand, he is carrying both his sword and mine. I crane my head up as much as my sore neck would allow me to. “How—how are you holding Tessaiga?” I gasp in disbelief as he comes to the side of the bed.

 

In a show of apathy I’ve never seen my brother have for our weapons, he drops both of them and they clatter loudly when they hit the hard marble floor. “There is much you do not know or understand, Inuyasha.” He growls. He falls to his knees next to the abandoned swords and his face is close to mine when he leans forward. His mokomoko extends tentatively and he leans into it with closed eyes; the injured fur leaves a trail of blood across his forehead that clouds the crescent moon he bears.

 

He begins to rumble again but this time it sounds almost like a purr and the pelt flexes around me when he drops his head to the bed next to my shoulder. Something pulsates between us and I feel a spark of energy wash over me, enough to help me pull myself up on my elbows; though I grit my teeth in pain and grunt as every muscle in my body protests.

 

“Sesshoumaru…” I begin to grit out and carefully reach over to pull the pelt away from his face.

 

“Why.” He growls deeply and I pause when I feel his youki flare with anger. “Why would you not simply submit to me, Ototo-san?” He asks darkly and lifts his head enough to peer at me from under the crease of his eyebrows. He is panting now and his eyes are heated with angry red.

 

The look he gives me is savage and I can feel my stomach drop. I try to swallow but my mouth is suddenly dry. “I—I don’t know.” My inu ears dip back in defeat when I turn away from his intense glare.

 

The truth is, I really don’t know why.

 

He growls threateningly and before I know what’s happening, he has my chin in his claws and he jerks my face back to his. The movement is painful and I cry out but he silences me a moment later when his hungry lips crash over mine in a demanding kiss. There is nothing kind or gentle about it and his mouth is all consuming when the hand around my chin drops to my neck and squeezes. A wave of panic fills me and I drop from my elbows to grab the fist around my throat. He breaks the kiss suddenly. The bloody hand at his side darts up to catch one of my wrists and he pulls my hand away from his fist. With his other hand, he turns my head away sharply to expose the side of my neck.

 

The panic in my veins makes my pulse point flutter rapidly, and with enough adrenaline in my system now to dull my pain, I begin to struggle against him. I try to kick out at him at the side of the bed but only succeed in pulling the blankets off most of my body. His pelt tightens down my one leg and moves to coil around the other as well; effectively pinning me against the mattress.

 

His breathing is properly ragged now and he pushes his face into my neck to lap at my pulse point with long, lazy strokes. My ears pin down against my hair tightly and I grit my teeth again. This can’t be happening, I tell myself, this just can’t be happening.

 

He moves to drag his tongue up over my jawline along his own thumb and I can feel his claw begin to extent against my skin. I pinch my eyes closed and renew my struggle against him when he opens his mouth fully to press his fangs into the flesh of my cheek; just enough to pull the skin taught but not enough to break into it. In a desperate attempt to defend myself, my mind begins to call on my inner beast to surface but he ignores my plea. In my mind’s eye, I can see my demon glare back at me with cold indifference, as if he too wishes to see me succumb to the Daiyoukai completely.

 

“You speak of emotionally conflicted demons, Inuyasha.” My brother growls against my skin as goosebumps rise down my neck and shoulders. “Can you not see that you are the most conflicted of us all, Ototo-san?” He twists my face towards his again and after a long pause, I open my eyes to see sharp gold peer back down at me. This time, when he speaks, his voice is smoother and the savagery fades. “When your demon communes with mine, he tells me what he desires. When your body lies beneath mine, you express what you crave. And yet your conscious self cannot accept that, with all you are, with every fiber of your being, you long for me. My touch and my strength, my devotion and my protection.”

 

His words cut through me with such precision that my heart pangs and my soul aches. All my life, I have craved acceptance; all my life, I have hungered for it. The burning need for it clawing out from somewhere deep within me like a starving creature desperate for reprieve. The only sources of which in my life have all faded away or were taken from me. My father, my mother, my very few friends, and my Kagome.

 

“Submit to me.” He says quietly and my lips tremble with powerful emotions pooling inside my core. “Submit to me, Inuyasha, and I can give you what you desire above all things in this world.” My lungs forget how to breathe and hot tears well up in my eyes. “I can make you more than you are now and I can offer you what no other can. Stay and submit to me.”

 

Suddenly I can see that same depth from before in his gold eyes and my human heart swells with hope. I want so badly in that moment to take what he’s offering but I can’t silence the fear in the back of my mind; do full blooded youkai even know how to… 

 

Love?

 

A cold realization washes over me. Love is not something a demon feels or can ever feel. Love is an imperfection of mortality in a youkai’s eyes and something Sesshoumaru would never understand. My inner demon glares at me when I purse my lips. The tears spill over my cheeks when I try to shake my head in his grasp. Although I frantically try to maintain an expression of resolve, my scent betrays me and I can see my own desperation reflected in his eyes.

 

With a pitiful sound, I can no longer maintain my brother’s gaze and I pinch my eyes shut; wishing I could disappear from this moment all together and run away from his suffocating presence.

 

There is very little in this world that the Dayoukai enjoys more than inflicting harm on others and he is incapable of love, I tell myself, no matter how much I wish he were different. But there is no other in this world I want to be with more and my human heart breaks all over again with that terrible realization. I will never feel that connection with another being again. I will never be loved by another again. I will be alone, always alone. Despair floods my veins and I’m heavy with grief.

 

Alone, always alone.

 

That’s when I feel it—soft and faint against my lips before the smooth taste of my brother is pressed against my mouth fully.

 

The dark mantra in my head stops abruptly and I gasp in shock as the Daiyoukai kisses me with surprising tenderness. My mind clears and I’m so lost in the white noise that I barely notice when he releases his hold on me and pulls back. When I open my eyes, I find myself looking up at vivid gold again. He is leaning over me fully now, sitting on the edge of the bed with his hands set on either side of me; his silver hair falls over one of his powerful shoulders.

 

We stay like that for a long time, just looking at each other, before he runs a clawed finger over my lips.

 

The tight coil of misery in my body slowly ebbs and just like before, a power pulsates between us. I feel a warm energy begin to build in my core. I can feel strength rise up inside me and my body begins to hum with vitality. The gold of his eyes is impossibly deep and I almost feel like I can lose myself in them. He deliberately matches my breathing and without breaking eye contact, I can feel his youki permeate my aura. He guides my breathing and together we take deep, slow breaths.

 

With each inhale, I feel life fill me.

 

With each exhale, I feel despair leave me. 

 

I lose track of time and soon I feel so full that I forget myself entirely and I part my lips around his clawed finger to gently allow it inside. There is a connection building between us again and with each moment that passes, I feel it sink deeper and deeper into my soul. My hands reach up to his face to trace along the stripes on his cheeks and he closes his eyes. He pulls his finger from my mouth to press his palm back into the mattress and leans down to put his forehead against mine. I close my eyes and rub the back of his ears when he takes a particularly deep inhale; he is scenting me again.

 

I don’t understand it and I really don’t want to. I don’t want to think about the fact that we are brothers or that what we are doing is wrong. I don’t want to think about how we are miserably misplaced in this world or that we belong in a different time. All I want is for this feeling to never go away—this connection to never break. I’ve never felt like this before and I don’t want it to end. It feels like nothing else matters and all I want is him. To stay with Sesshoumaru. To submit to the Daiyoukai

 

Stay and submit.

 

“I will.” The words fall out of my mouth before I have a chance to think about them and when I open my eyes again, he is looking at me. There is a long pause between us. He cautiously brings his hand back to my face to push my hair away from my forehead and my hands fall back to the mattress. His mokomoko unravels from the lower half of my body and travels up the bed to push under my shoulders and neck; replacing the pillows and moving them to the side. The pelt had healed itself sometime during our meditation and now the thick fur of it reassures me with gentle strokes as the Daiyoukai rises to undress beside the bed.

 

My eyes travel over the length of his body and although he has to peel the wet shirt from his side, I can see that the wound is no longer bleeding. The Demon Lord, now undressed, looks back down at me and my fists grasp at the gray sheets when he pulls the comforter off me completely. There is something different about the energy between us this time, something less passionate and entirely more intimate.

 

Sesshoumaru gently urges me to open my thighs and allow him to settle between them when he crawls over me on the bed. My breathing catches in the back of my throat and my shaky hands come up to his shoulders when he lays over me. My heart is pounding in my chest and every muscle in my body is tense when I feel his youki flow around us, around me, with an intoxicating atmosphere of tranquility. This time is very different and I know, instinctually, that what we are about to do cannot be undone. There is a level of intimacy in this moment I’ve only ever felt with Kagome and I squeeze his shoulders with apprehension.

 

“Calm yourself, Inuyasha, and focus only on me.” He says quietly before he presses his lips back to mine and again, it feels like nothing else matters.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fandom: Inuyasha  
> Title: The Black Door  
> Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Inuyasha (Inuyasha POV)  
> Rating: Explicit  
> Spoilers: None  
> Summary: Inuyasha struggles to deal with the loss of his mate  
> Disclaimer: I didn't create nor do I own Inuyasha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Not beta'd  
> **Comments = LOVE
> 
> Enjoy! ^_^

Chapter Eight

 

 

When his lips find mine again, I feel as though the world around us has melted away; like the universe has boiled down to only his touch, scent and feel. Part of me knows that I feel that way because of what his youki is doing to me but I really don’t care—the serenity of pulling away from the world is too tempting and I willingly allow myself to be swallowed up in the moment.

 

To hell with the consequences.

 

He settles his weight over me fully and pushes his hands into my hair. His kiss is slow and deliberate, as though he were kissing me for the first time and my hands on his shoulders move up around his neck to gain leverage. He turns his head slightly and pulls back only long enough for me to gasp a couple times before he takes my mouth again and plunges his tongue inside. We war for dominance in the kiss and my tongue slides across his when he groans into me. His clawed fingers find my downy ears and begin to massage them in earnest. I pull back from the kiss with a sigh to tilt my head back into his mokomoko and into the hands kneading my ears.

 

This time I don’t fight the attention he pays them and it’s so good to just feel hands on them again.

 

He kisses down the line of my jaw before he pulls back enough to drag his tongue up the center of my neck and over my chin. I can feel his breath over my lips and I’m waiting for him to kiss me again but he doesn’t. My eyes crack open slightly and I look up at him in confusion as he stills his hands in my hair. I release my hold around his neck and bring my hands back down to his shoulders when he speaks to me. “Are you familiar with inu mating rituals, Inuyasha?” 

 

My lips purse and a blush ghosts over my cheeks when I slowly shake my head. The truth is, I know very little about my own demon heritage and, although I would never admit it out loud to Sesshoumaru, part of me is grateful that I’ve picked up bits and pieces along the way just being around him.

 

He hums in contemplation and straightens himself up to rest on his elbows. His hands pull away from my ears to stroke along the hairline around my face instead. In his new position, his weight between my legs presses down into me and I shudder when our growing arousals rub together. My legs drape over the back of his thighs out of habit and I lock my ankles. He seems pleased with that and I can feel his heated flesh throb against mine.

 

The look he gives me makes him seem far away and he’s not really looking at me so much as he seems to be looking through me. Soon the silence between us becomes uncomfortable. I clear my throat and his sharp pupils dilate when he seems to come back from whatever train of thought he had. “It can’t be that much different from things we’ve already done.” I start and I don’t know why I’m whispering. “What’s with the dramatic pause?”

 

He tilts his head to the side in the smallest of ways before he responds. “The act, while in practice is not much different, is in fact unlike anything we have done before, Inuyasha.” He says flatly before he shifts to sit up and I have to rearrange my legs around him when he kneels between them. He runs both his warm palms down my chest and I swallow thickly. When he comes to my abdomen, he gently presses his claws into my skin as he drags them down, leaving tingling raised lines in their wake and I’m shuddering again.

 

I reach for his hands but he grabs my wrists to stop me and before I know what’s happening, part of his pelt darts out from under me to coil around my arms and pin them over my head. My initial instinct is to struggle and I yank against his fur, only to have it clamp down harder on my skin and extend my arms higher over my head; forcing my back to arch slightly under him. In this position, every breath is exaggerated, and my torso flexes with each gasp. My ears dip back defensively and I unlock my ankles behind him to try and twist away with a growl. “What the hell, Sesshoumaru?!” 

 

He catches the inside of my knees easily and keeps them spread apart around him; patiently waiting for my vain struggle to end. “Why must you always make things more difficult on yourself?” The Demon Lord asks absentmindedly and leans down over me to plant a simple kiss at the center of my chest. His hair falls forward with him and ghosts over my sensitive sides, making me twitch when his lips touch my skin. Any witty remark I had dies on my own lips when he moves to lap at one of my nipples. My mouth and eyes slam shut as I push my head back with a long moan.

 

He grins into my flesh and shifts to my other nipple, repeating his actions and my head twists into his fur when shocks of pleasure run down my spine. He alternates between them with his tongue and teeth, working each nub into an angry red example of his attentions. He plays me like an instrument and soon I abandon my struggle to get away and begin a new struggle to push myself closer to him. Strong hands slowly glide down the inside of my thighs and even through the fog of pleasure in my head, I’m acutely aware of the direction they’re headed.

 

If I thought I was tense before, my body is practically trembling in anticipation now.

 

Without realizing it, I’m nodding my head the closer his fingers get to my heated flesh and I cry out in frustration when those same fingers bypass my arousal all together to come back over my belly instead. A threatening growl escapes me and I lean my head up to glare at him with livid gold. He meets my gaze and just tilts his head to the side again, raising an eyebrow as if to challenge me. I curl my lips back to bark something profane at him but the other tail end of his mokomoko darts across my mouth and pulls my head back into the bed.

 

“Patience, Inuyasha.” He says coolly and I groan desperately behind his fur. He runs his hands back up my thighs to pull my legs back around his hips when he speaks again. “A mating ritual is more than just rutting, Ototo-san.” He grasps my hips and pulls me higher up his lap to grind our desires together and I’m shuddering again. He pushes his hot palms up my torso and I’m arching into his touch. Beyond the feel of his inhumanly warm hands, I can feel the transfer of his powerful youki fill me through his touch. The static energy between us is addicting and all my nerves stand on end. “I intend to fully appreciate all of this conquered territory, my territory, before I claim you.”

 

I’m rolling into his touch as his hands travel the plains of my body, alternating between light strokes and sharp scratches. He leans back down over me to drag his tongue over my ribcage and pushes his palms under the low of my back; bringing me closer to his mouth and tipping my hips into his. Sesshoumaru moans into my skin and we begin to rock into each other slowly. Both of us are eager to release some of the tension and tighten my legs around his hips.

 

Some time ago, I had abandoned my attempts to pull my head back up and now I resign myself to his insistent foreplay. Soft moans come through the fur over my mouth and my eyes flutter closed when he pulls my body into his again. There is a rustle above my head as his pelt loosens around my wrists enough to allow me to slip out from under it. I reach up for him on instinct as his mokomoko coils under my back and pushes me up into a sitting position across his lap. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and he runs his claws along my spine when he sits back on his haunches with me. He presses his forehead against mine and ghosts a hand over my face to peel the pelt back from my mouth. He kisses me again and brings both his hands down to my hips.

 

“Look at me, Inuyasha.” He murmurs against my lips and my ears swivel forward when my gold eyes find his. His face is so close to mine that it seems like his eyes are the only elements left in our private universe and I’m quickly lost in the depths of them. Looking at him this close, I have a sudden desire to do something I’ve never done before and I swallow nervously. His pupils dilate slightly and, as if he knows what I’m thinking, he speaks softly. “Do not be troubled. You will experience things you have never experienced before and you will crave things you have never craved before. Do not fight your instincts, embrace them, and allow them to guide you.” A deep rumble resonates from his chest and I moan as the vibrations seem to permeate my very being. “Allow your mind to clear and do not be ashamed.”

 

After a long pause, I nod and tentatively cup his face with my hands to lean in and scent his forehead; the crescent moon still clouded with the blood of his pelt. He dips his face down slightly and my heart skips a beat with his small display of submission. Acting on my strange urge, my tongue comes out to touch his birthmark. Before long I’m lapping his forehead entirely, eagerly cleansing him and laying my scent over his skin. The Daiyoukai’s eyes fall closed as he allows me to kiss and lick along the stripes on his cheeks. Then he allows me to push his head back and continue along his jawline. When I push my face into his neck and lap at his pulse point, he tightens his hold on my hips and dips his hands down over the swell of my ass.

 

I moan into his skin and roll my hips forward in his lap repeatedly, rubbing our hot lengths together. His youki flares with desire and he spreads his knees wider underneath me, forcing my own legs further apart, as his fingers glide down to stroke my opening. My body quakes with pleasure and I dig my claws into his silver hair to stop myself from pushing back against his touch. He turns into one of my ears and breathes. “Do not fight it.” A choked sound escapes me and I’m shaking my head into his neck frantically. He increases his pressure against my tight ring of muscle and I feel bright heat across my face even as I rock into his touch slightly. “Do not be ashamed.”

 

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I keep telling myself that I have no reason to be this shy in Sesshoumaru’s arms; we’ve certainly done a whole lot worse together. But for some reason this feels different, like with each moment that passes, more and more of me becomes revealed to him and soon, the Demon Lord will know me better than I even know myself.

 

My ears tilt back when I hear a rustle in the sheets and I turn in enough time to see his mokomoko pull the bottle of oil out from under his pillows. I groan and drop my forehead into his shoulder with a full body shudder when I feel the Demon Lord reach for the bottle with both hands. I tighten my thighs around his hips in an attempt not to feel so open in his lap but he just spreads his knees further apart under me. My hands come out of his hair to steady myself on his shoulders instead and my face burns even hotter when I suddenly smell the unmistakable scent of sandalwood.

 

I’m pretty sure that scent is ruined for me; I always think of Sesshoumaru when I smell it now.

 

When his fingers dip back down between the cheeks of my backside, I can feel how wet they are and I abruptly let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. Part of me is mortified how excited I am for what’s coming next but despite myself, I’m rocking into his fingers as they stroke up and down my tight opening. My mind reassures me that if I keep my eyes closed, I don’t have to admit how much I like it and I almost loose myself in the moment before I feel one of his fingers press against me harder to seek entry. With dread, my body goes rigid in his arms and I pull back with a startled cry. “Stop—Sesshoumaru!” He growls threateningly but his eyes remain gold and I’m staring at him with a mixture of fear and astonishment.

 

When I begin to struggle to pull myself free from him, his arms clamp around me in a vice like grip that does nothing but fan the flame of my panic. My claws extend against his shoulders and I press them into his skin defensively; his nostrils flare with the scent of his own blood. “Calm yourself Inuyasha and observe!” He hisses at me and pulls the offending hand up to my face. I jerk back from his hand and it takes me a moment to realize what he’s trying to show me but when I finally see it, I’m stunned. I stare at him in disbelief and retract my claws from his shoulders almost immediately. He growls again and narrows his eyes. “Do you not think, that I would take measures to ensure your safety?”

 

“I didn’t… You’ve never…” I stumble over my own words and look down at his hand again; at the two fingers with dulled claws. I may not know much about my own youkai heritage, but I do know that a powerful demon like my brother would never intentionally dull their own claws. It would be seen as a disgrace and something a Daiyoukai would never submit themselves to unless—

 

“There are… privileges, Inuyasha.” He says and I look back up at him when he pulls his hand away to lean into me. He cautiously kisses me and waits for me to reciprocate. I nod slightly into his lips and close my eyes before I kiss him back eagerly. The wave of panic in my heart begins to recede and I’m wrapping my arms back around his shoulders when his hands reach back down between the back of my thighs. He begins to gently stroke my opening again and this time, when he presses a dulled finger against the center of it, I don’t fight him. Instead I pull back from the kiss and let out a shaky breath that melts into a long moan when he slips inside.

 

It’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt before and I find myself pushing down onto his hand. I pinch my eyes closed and sigh in pleasure as he presses against me from the inside. Soon he is working his finger in and out, mirroring something we’ve done many times, and I’m rocking with his rhythm. He pushes his face into my neck when he speaks. “Would you like another?” I bite down in embarrassment but nod firmly. He grins against my skin and slides a second digit inside; gliding along the first to rock back and forth. This time I let my head fall back and I groan loudly as I ride against his hand with renewed vigor.

 

Just when I thought this new sensation couldn’t get any better, I feel him press up higher into my body and spread his fingers; drawing more sounds from me. My hips grind down to encourage him to repeat his action and I begin to pant when he does. Sesshoumaru is sucking at my pulse point when his other hand snakes between us and grabs both of our lengths in his hot palm. “Oh fuck— YES!” I cry out and thrust against him even though I’m entirely unsure which feeling I prefer in that moment. 

 

The Demon Lord grunts and lifts his hips up into each of his strokes, effectively beginning to bounce me in his lap, and I’m reminded of how much stronger he is than me. My thighs and arms tighten around him as our rhythm becomes more frantic and I cry out in frustration when he pulls his fingers from within me; the hand around our heated flesh follows shortly thereafter. But my protest is forgotten a moment later when the blunt head of his arousal replaces his fingers and suddenly I’m being speared over his impressive length. I cry out his name and all but howl in pained surprise as he begins to sink deep inside me. He silences me with a feral kiss and he growls into my mouth when he puts his hands on my hips and pulls me down into a brutal thrust to complete our union.

 

I twist my face away from the kiss, cutting my lip on his fangs, and scream his name again as I go rigid in his lap. His youki flares with a mixture of pride and passion as I claw at the tops of his shoulders in an attempt to get away from him. But his vice like grip holds me in place. A deep rumble resonates from his chest again, and just like before, I feel the vibrations flood into my body as his energy extends over me. After what feels like a short eternity, and with the help of his youki, my struggles slowly subside and my body adjusts to him.

 

A sigh of relief finally escapes me and I slump against him in his lap. He releases his hold on my hips and runs both of his hands up my back soothingly; kneading my muscles as he does so. I moan when I feel him pulsate inside me and my hips slowly rock into his, encouraging him to do the same. We begin gently and deliberately, dragging our bodies against each other and deepening our efforts gradually until I’m gasping with each of his smooth thrusts in and out of my body. Soon we fan the flame between us back to the desperate place we were moments before and when I open my eyes, I see red tinted gold staring back at me.

 

I groan and pull him into an obsessive kiss. We war for dominance with our mouths and our eyes fall closed again. He growls pleasingly when I force my tongue into his mouth and he allows me to claim that territory as mine. One of his hands comes around my ribcage, drawing thin red lines behind his claws, and dips between us to grasp my swollen member. I gasp into the kiss and his teeth gently tug on my lower lip to suck at the bleeding slices there. Soon I’m thrusting up into his palm and rocking back onto his cock in abandon; he rises slightly to meet my rhythm.

 

I break the kiss sharply to reach behind myself and brace my palms on the tops of his knees. With the leverage of his legs, I buck wildly on his lap and into his hand; the slickness of my excitement creating a wet friction in his palm that drives me nearly feral. Our pace increases in desperation and I cry out when he squeezes me in each of his strokes. He growls deep in the back of his throat and I meet his gaze with my own pleasure hazed eyes. My inner demon howls approvingly and I groan when I see the lust on Sesshoumaru’s face deepen.

 

His other hand on my back pulls my body flush against his suddenly, crushing the air from my lungs and grinding my heated flesh harder between us. Beads of sweat run down the sides of my overheated face and I’m panting; desperately trying to breathe as he continues to thrust and pump me into a fevered frenzy. I claw my hands back up to his shoulders and cling on for dear life as I climb higher and higher. Then another powerful feeling comes over me and I tuck my face under his chin to lick and kiss his neck passionately. In unison, I hear Sesshoumaru and my inner beast roar in delight when I do this and something breaks inside me; a wall I had up that suddenly comes crumbling down and my world shakes violently as a powerful orgasm crashes over me. 

 

I’m sobbing hot breath into his collarbones and choking on my own shouts as my mind tries to keep up with my body. My hips are thrusting in sharp, staccato jerks in his lap and I feel like I’m emptying more than just my seed into his hand between us. I’m shuddering and wrap my arms around his shoulders so tight that I can lock my forearms behind him. If it were possible, I think my body would melt into his completely in that moment and no matter how hard I hold onto him, I can’t seem to get close enough.

 

An energy pulsates between us again and it feels as though the room reels with the force of it when he pulls his wet hand from between us to grab the outside of my thigh. His grip is punishing and I can feel the promise of bruises when he grits out into one of my drooped ears. “Inuyasha… present yourself to me.” Somehow I know what he means and I pull away from him enough to allow him to slip from inside me as I lay back on the mattress. He looks down at me with predatory desire and I moan when I roll over onto my belly before him instinctually. His clawed hands run up the back of my thighs as he kneels between them and urges me to spread my legs wider for him.

 

My face heats again and I’m fisting his sheets when I feel his palms take my hips and pull me onto my knees roughly. I struggle to get up on my hands as well but he pushes my front back down with a powerful hand placed squarely between my shoulder blades. I grunt when my chest hits the mattress and he growls behind me when he forces my back to arch and bare myself to him. I’m panting again when the Daiyoukai grabs the back of my hips with both of his hands and uses his thumbs to spread me apart; fully exposing me.

 

I shiver when I feel the cool air on my sensitive ring of muscle, now properly loosened and slick from our previous coupling. I flex under his hands in an attempt to close myself. This seems to please the Demon Lord behind me and he leans down to lap at my opening with heavy tongued strokes. My mouth falls open and I call out to the Kami when he continues to taste me. I’m pushing back into his face as one of my hands reach down between my legs to stroke my renewing excitement.

 

Sesshoumaru pulls back to mount me from behind and my stomach is fluttering. One of his hands runs down the curve of my spine to fist the hair at the back of my neck while the other holds his hot length and lines himself up with my entrance. I curl my toes and increase the pace of my strokes when I feel him penetrate me; it’s not painful this time but certainly overwhelming and in this angle, he sinks impossibly deep. We both grunt when he seats himself inside me fully and I swallow thickly when he withdraws smoothly only to push forward and bury himself again. He growls above me as he begins to build a steady tempo and I flush harder when I realize that he’s watching himself thrust in and out of my body.

 

With a fistful of sheets in my mouth, I groan into the fabric and his pace quickens. My body jerks forward with each snap of his hips and I feel the tight coil of pleasure build in my belly again. He pulls on the fist in my hair and puts his other hand on my back. When he leans over me, he strikes that place inside that makes me go nearly cross eyed and I groan louder. He rips my head to the side to expose my neck and his lips hover over the back of my pulse point.

 

He’s growling heavily, a long drawn out sound, that sends goosebumps down my spine and my pupils dilate with anticipation when I feel his youki swell around us. He grits out my name and I tremble when he hisses against my skin. “I will make you more than what you are.” Suddenly I feel a warm presence gather under me and I strain to look down and see his pelt laid out under the lower half of my body; one tail end of it coming up to loop around my midsection tightly.

 

His pace accelerates to inhuman speeds and my heart is pounding wildly in my chest when bright green energy swirls up around us. I feel like the two of us are careening towards oblivion when, similar to what happened at the club, everything seems to stop and the air hangs suspended with enough of a jarring effect to make me dizzy. Hot electric energy rakes across my skin like sharp barbs and I jerk when a dark whisper cuts through the sudden silence. “Mine.”

 

His fangs sink into my neck and the pool of youki gathered around us comes crashing down over me with enough force to splinter the glass windows above the headboard. All the energy baring down on me cuts through my skin like hot knives. In my mind’s eye, I see my beast climb from the depths of my subconscious and crash into my conscious self violently. Like the coming together of two broken halves, the energy humming in my veins increases tenfold and for the first time in my life, I feel a power rise up inside my body unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.

 

Instantly my fangs elongate and my eyes bleed bright red. My claws rake against the bedding and peel through the fabric deeply. Thick, jagged stripes surface over each of my cheek bones and the curve of my pelvis burns when a matching set of dark stripes appear over the skin there. A savage sound rises out from my body and I throw my head back as my aura throbs bright green and lashes out around me like toxic ribbons that melt nearly everything they come in contact with.

 

And just as quickly it began, all the expelled energy recoils suddenly and pulls back into my body. My vision goes bright white before the edges burn away and blackness swallows me completely.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fandom: Inuyasha  
> Title: The Black Door  
> Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Inuyasha (Inuyasha POV)  
> Rating: Explicit  
> Spoilers: None  
> Summary: Inuyasha struggles to deal with the loss of his mate  
> Disclaimer: I didn't create nor do I own Inuyasha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ******ATTENTION******
> 
> It was suggested by one of my fans (@unmade) that I should add a flashback to the first time Inu and Sess had sex so enjoy!!
> 
>  
> 
> *Not beta'd  
> **Comments = LOVE
> 
> Enjoy! ^_^

Chapter Nine

 

 

Grief is a strange companion. It offers relief in the wake of chaotic despair. At first you embrace the numb feeling inside as a way to dull the heartache that holds you prisoner. At first you are grateful to be detached from the world and the whirlwind of pain. But after a while, when you’re ready to reconnect, you realize that the strange companion won’t let you. Grief is a jealous bedfellow and it saturates your soul; driving you to do things you wouldn’t normally do just to feel connected to something other than the emptiness.

 

I had stumbled through the city that night, drunker than I had ever been, and was only half shocked to find myself at the black door that would come to haunt me. My heated forehead was pressed against the varnished wood and I was screaming to him in a rage. What I needed in that moment was a good fight, I kept telling myself. I needed something raw and primal, something violent and bloody, to cut through the hard shell of grief and finally reconnect with the world of the living.

 

He had ripped the door open with irritation, bore down into me with unforgiving molten gold, but I was so relieved to see a face I recognized. His angry eyes reminded me of a time I had come from; a time when the world still made sense to me and I had a purpose.

 

So much from that night is still fragmented in my mind but I remember that he refused to give me what I came looking for. He just stared at me in his palatial living room and told me to find my own way back to the shrine that night. The flat tone he used to dismiss my pleas hurled me into a fury and I remember I grabbed the first thing I saw and heaved it at him. The heavy crystal vase shattered into the marble floor where the Demon Lord had been standing just moments before and my human eyes didn’t catch the blur of movement near my face until it was too late.

 

My back collided with a wall and I tumbled down to the floor with the broken pieces of a mirror I was thrown into. There was a rush in the air over my body before I was violently sliding along the smooth floor and into the mouth of his bedroom hallway. I could hear my own desperate wail and choking before a hot sensation blistered over my forearm. My dark eyes snapped open and I rolled over in the glass to cradle my injured limb. Even in the dark, I could see the jagged piece of mirror look back at me from its wedged place in my skin. The reflection I saw was my own and I shuddered when the red of my blood clouded my likeness in the mirror.

 

My lips trembled when I realized that I could feel the hot burn of the glass and I reverently pulled myself into a kneeling position to worship the fragment lodged in my arm. I was thanking someone in that moment, just for being able to feel something, but I don’t remember who. My heart skipped a beat when I wrapped my fingers around the broken mirror piece and tore it out. I was struck with another slice of searing pain followed immediately by a hot rush of red spilling down my arm. A manic laugh fell out of me and my body shook with the power of the emotions that suddenly found release in my heart.

 

I flexed the palm of my hand to watch the muscles and sinew swell in the wound and I laughed again when the river of blood increased tenfold. Something inside urged me to lift my arm to my face and catch the river with my mouth. The heavy metallic taste was soothing to me for some reason and I was eagerly drinking it up when a shadow fell over me. I turned my bloodied face up to look into a pair of red glowing eyes that towered over me in the hallway. Even in my human state, I could feel the energy roll off of him in heavy waves that pledged blood and pain.

 

With a rational mind, I would have been singularly focused on escape in that moment, but the angry glow of Sesshoumaru’s eyes promised to give me what I came looking for that night and I couldn’t turn away. The room had tilted then and my heartbeat pounded in my head when a debilitating wave of fatigue suddenly came over me. The glass shard in my hand fell to the floor and I leaned back against the wall to watch the red begin to pool around me on the marble.

 

So beautiful, I had said breathlessly and my soul felt like it was singing when my back slipped down the side of the wall in exhaustion. Something inside told me to brace myself for the impact my head was going to make with the marble but I didn’t hit the floor. My face fell into something inhumanly warm instead and I inhaled the heady scent of sandalwood when I resigned myself to die quietly in my brother’s hallway. The only regret I had was that I couldn’t hold on long enough to experience what the Demon Lord had to offer; it felt like a wasted opportunity.

 

But I didn’t die that night.

 

An intense static charge in my arm ripped me back from the edge of oblivion and I gasped on his bed as the wound began to heal under his tongue. He had a large palm pressed into the center of my chest to keep me pinned down when his youki poured life back into me. My head twisted in the pillows with a fevered desperation when I realized he was sitting next to me on the mattress and I was naked.

 

The alcohol in my system filled me with warmth and I shuddered in the haze of it all. My body felt like lead and I couldn’t raise myself up even if I wanted to.

 

After the flesh of my arm knitted back together under his attentions, he moved to other injuries across my body. A cascade of dueling sensations flooded my consciousness when the shards were plucked from my skin and his poisonous tongue lapped out at the wounds left behind to heal them. Laying under him, I was caught in what seemed like a never ending cycle of pain and relief. The hot sting made me hiss when the glass was pulled out but the static electricity made me sigh when his youki urged the flesh to heal.

 

The hand on my chest moved down to my side, where the last of the glass shards was embedded, and my body stiffened on instinct when it was carefully pulled it out. That particular piece of mirror was lodged deep and when it was removed, the gash left behind began to bleed profusely. He came down and mouthed the wound almost immediately but a steady stream of blood made it to his bedsheets anyway. I hissed when he closed his lips over my broken skin and I strained to look down at him when my hands darted to his hair.

 

What I saw looking back up at me chilled me to the core. I struggled to breathe when the red eyed mononoke that was my brother crawled up the length of my body and claimed my mouth in a bloody kiss. He was growling menacingly and his glowing eyes bore into me like they could see inside my very soul. Panic surged through my body and I tried to push him away only to have his strong hands press my wrists to the bed on either side of my face.

 

I bit him hard enough to break open his lip but started choking on the taste of his blood when he deepened the kiss. Terror gave me enough strength to struggle under him but strength is a relative term when comparing a Daiyoukai to a human. When he finally did pull back, I was gasping for air and choking in revulsion. A clad knee pressed into the bed between my legs and he snarled when he leaned back over me.

 

You desire pain and blood, he had whispered harshly to me and I shook my head in ardent disagreement. You cannot lie to me Ototo-san, he had said, I can scent it on you.

 

Go to hell Sesshoumaru, I had hissed at him in a rage and panted heavily when he pushed his knee up further between my clenched thighs; heat of a different kind began to come over me.

 

I can give you what you crave and so much more Inuyasha, he had growled and pressed his face into my neck to scent me properly. A shiver ran down my body when he had nipped at my pulse point and a gagged sound was ripped out of me when his knee finally came in contact with my half stirred excitement. Then startling awareness crashed over me. Just like the pain of the glass in my arm, I could feel the pleasure between my legs and I choked when I realized that I was feeling something again.

 

Hesitation had halted my struggle against the Demon Lord and I felt him grin against my skin when uncertainty flooded me. He had released my wrists to push his claws into my black hair and I had found myself holding onto his shoulders. My mind was racing and I had stared at his ceiling with a fearful faraway expression. Something had stirred inside me in that moment. I couldn’t breathe properly and my pulse had faltered when I realized I was actually considering what he had offered.

 

He had said he could give me what I craved. He had also said he could give me so much more. I wasn’t really sure what he had meant but the part of me that could feel again didn’t really care.

 

Instinctually I knew we were about to cross a line. Rationally I knew I should have turned away.

 

But grief is a strange companion and it will drive you to do things you wouldn’t normally do just to feel something, anything, other than the emptiness.

 

He had my bent knees folded under his arms and he was crouched over me. I grunted pitifully beneath him with each heave forward of his powerful hips. With shaky hands, I had been pushing against his chest and abdomen to try in vain to deter the excruciating depth of his thrusts. My face was screwed up in a mixture of pain and misery, my cheeks were wet with the tears of both and I had been grinding my teeth so hard that my jaw had gone numb. Each rock forward was agony and pleading words for reprieve hung on the tip of my tongue.

 

But I had reminded myself that I had come to his apartment looking for pain in the first place and I bit back those words despite myself. I was literally laying in the bed I made for myself and I wouldn’t allow myself to back out, even though the pain I had felt was enough to make me crumble under him.

 

I would hold my breath for as long as I could, until my head pounded and my vision blurred, before a bellowing sob would escape me followed by frantic gasps. He had glared down into me with feral red and his face sneered in satisfaction each time I wailed beneath him. My black hair had been matted to my forehead and neck in a cold sweat and the world seemed to shake around me each time he had shoved me into the mattress. I knew I had played myself right into his sadistic claws but I also knew that my broken soul desired what he gave me. I had longed for punishment and the beast that hovered over me that night was more than happy to give it to me.

 

But then something changed.

 

What we had been doing wasn’t gentle or intimate so I couldn’t understand why Sesshoumaru shifted over me and tried to claim my mouth with his. What we had been doing wasn’t rooted in desire either so I couldn’t understand why his hand ghosted over my flaccid flesh between us. Then his pace had changed, slowed down even, and when he had leaned over me, all the air burst out of my lungs in a distressed cry that his mouth caught in a kiss. I had ripped my face away from his and tried to claw at his red eyes with human fingernails that did nothing to him.

 

His hot hand had fisted around my loose length and after several tense moments, when he had worked the flesh back and forth, desire started to bloom and I began to swell in his palm. My soul ached with confusion when pangs of pleasure had started to cut the pain and I began to pulsate in each of his firm strokes. In utter disbelief, I had started to moan beneath my brother and my thighs flexed around him. In my head I had condemned myself, raged against everything I felt in that moment, but for all the reasons I knew we shouldn’t have continued, I couldn’t bring myself to stop him.

 

My mind reeled when my resolve to defensively claw at his face began to fade and my lips opened for his slightly. The Killing Perfection had been surprisingly tender when I had finally accepted his kiss but the feelings it had agitated in me were terrifying and I had turned away from his face almost immediately afterwards.

 

We had moaned together when his pace quickened again and I shuddered when I felt his hot flesh drag along something inside me that took my breath away. His glowing eyes had narrowed when I quivered beneath him and he endeavored to find that place inside me again. Then I had begun to wither under my brother and rational thought had left me completely when I pinched my eyes shut in defeat to the overwhelming sensations. He had rumbled in satisfaction and the dark room shook with his youki.

 

Both my hands had weakly clapped over his hungry mouth, my neck had strained when I twisted into the sheets, and with a heavy groan I knew where we were headed. He had roared into my palms when he burst inside me and my body quaked under his when the hot sensation of his seed filling me pushed me over the edge with him. His wet hand had come up to rip away my hold on the lower half of his face and he howled in lustful approval. My body was trembling and I had struggled to breathe for an entirely different reason then. Together we had both tumbled into white ecstasy and the last thing I remember from that night was a word he had thundered above me again and again.

 

A word that the Daiyoukai has since then used to describe me many times.

 

Mine.

A soft breeze and the morning sounds of the city below coaxes me out of the blackness. My body feels heavy with a sense of wholeness I’ve never experienced before. I roll into the soft warmth wrapped around me and I begin to take deeper breaths as consciousness slowly comes back to me. My gold eyes crack open slightly when I press my face into my brother’s pelt and I groan when it reciprocates. His mokomoko smells like us both and it’s comforting on a primal level to be surrounded by our scents. The fur flexes around my body on the bed and I hum when the coils of it pull me in tighter.

 

Sleep is trying to lure me back in when I notice something tiny floating in the air just beyond my face. My brows furrow and I blink a few times as my eyes follow the little white thing. It lands on my nose and I sniff at it a couple times before I nearly inhale it whole on accident. I snort instinctually and a cloud of them puff up into the air around me suddenly. “What the—” I start and lean up on my elbows to snatch one of the little floating mysteries from the air. “Feathers?”

 

I roll onto my side to sit up in the bed and Sesshoumaru’s mokomoko pools in my lap. The pelt flexes around me again and slithers over my waist, making me twitch when it rubs against something particularly sensitive on my side. I hiss in surprise and yank the fur back when I look down at the dark stripe over my hipbone. It looks nearly identical to the stripes that blossom over my cheeks when I’m in a rage. I can’t help myself from reaching out to touch it and I shudder when my claws come over the stripe. The dark skin is smooth to the touch and extremely sensitive. 

 

Now thoroughly distracted, I grab for the fur to uncoil it from around my middle and get a better look but the pelt struggles against me. “Come on—let go.” But it just tries to pull tighter around me and I growl in frustration. “I said let me go!” The mokomoko pauses for a moment before it slowly relaxes around me and I can bunch it up into a pile next to me on the bed. “Just stay there for a minute.” I’m scolding myself somewhere in the back of my mind for having a conversation with an inu pelt, even if it seems to be sentient, and I roll my eyes when the dejected piece of fur seems to sulk next to me.

 

I look back down at my hips and at the matching thick stripes on them. I reach down with both hands to stroke each stripe and a soft moan comes out of me when I feel a rush of pleasure ride up my spine. My ears droop slightly as I run my fingers along the stripes, tracing them behind the curve of my pelvis to where they seem to end near the low of my back. I press harder on the stripes when I drag my fingers back over them to my lap and I groan with pleasure. I turn to the pelt next to me and gasp. “Kami-sama, is this what it feels like for Sesshoumaru when I touch his stripes?”

 

“Yes.” A cool voice answers out loud and I nearly jump out of my own skin.

 

My body jerks towards the doorway. “Holy FUCK Sesshoumaru— you scared the shit out of me!” I angrily chuck a pillow at my brother, which he dodges smoothly.

 

His mokomoko flies across the room to drape over his shoulder when he walks towards me, clad in only a pair of house slacks. “Interesting, I would have thought your senses would be sharper now.”

 

I flip him off and make to get off the bed when I notice the room in its entirety and my gold eyes widen in shock. Deep cracks of scorched marble radiate out from around the bed and large chunks of broken stone are littered around the room. The blistered lines of destruction on the broken floor travel up the walls in jagged patterns where the wood has been burned black in their wake. All the furniture in the room is destroyed, pieces of the veneered ceiling are missing, and the liquor cabinet along the far wall bleeds several shades of alcohol.

 

My mouth falls open and my ears swivel when I hear a sudden gust of wind to my side. When I turn, I see the broken windows above the gray headboard; their glass innards laying outside on the private terrace in shimmering piles. I reach my hand out into a stray ray of sunlight absentmindedly when Sesshoumaru carefully sits down next to me. My eyes drop to the mangled remains of the mattress and bedding when he sweeps my hair over one of my shoulders to expose my neck. The breeze picks up and more feathers puff up into the air when I feel him lean in to scent me.

 

“What… happened?” I whisper and pull myself away from his intrusive nose. He growls and claws his hand into my hair to tip my head and bring me back to him. My initial instinct is to struggle but for some reason, it feels reassuring to have the Daiyoukai tug at my hair and expose my neck to him. I relax in his grasp and peer up at him from the corner of my eye expectantly and wait for a reply. He is staring at me in a way I’ve never seen him do so before and something blissful hums between us when he leans in to kiss me.

 

The kiss is cautious and he keeps his eyes locked with mine as if he’s waiting for some kind of unique reaction. We stay like that for a moment longer before he moves to drag his tongue up the side of my cheek and I choke with a sudden explosion of sensation. An electrifying rush of pleasure shoots down my body and I jerk in his grasp. I grab at the hand in my hair and groan loudly when he leans in to do it again. “Kami-sama!”

 

He grins smugly into the side of my face when he responds. “Close but I am no God, Inuyasha.” He rumbles in his chest and claims my mouth in a passionate kiss this time, using his hold in my hair as leverage to force me to submit to his hungry mouth. Both of us are gasping when he pulls back finally and growls darkly. “But you Ototo-san, your fierce and unfettered beauty— you are glorious to behold.”

 

“Uh, what the fuck?” I say flatly and whatever moment Sesshoumaru just had dies almost immediately. We’re left staring at each other in awkward silence before my ears dip back and his expression darkens.

 

“Your appearance Inuyasha.” He growls before he releases me with feigned indifference.

 

“My appearance?”

 

“Yes, your appearance.” He stands from the bed rigidly. “It has changed.”

 

“Changed?”

 

“Yes changed—altered—transformed—I refuse to believe that you are incapable of understanding such a simple concept, Inuyasha.” He turns away with annoyance and heads to the master bath suite.

 

My ears twitch and I snort resentfully when I step off the destroyed bed to follow him. “We really need to work on your pillow talk, Oniisan.” The room is still humid and I realize he must have showered when I have to rub steam off one of the mirrors to see myself. But the face that looks back at me isn’t a face I recognize and I jerk back in surprise.

 

Even though I know the face I see in the mirror can only be my own, it looks like a stranger, and I find myself turning slightly to see whether or not he follows. Sesshoumaru comes to stand behind me and we catch each other’s eyes in the mirror for a moment before I give myself a once over again. Dark lines run along the tops of my cheeks and disappear into my hairline, the pattern is thick but smooth, like the set on my hips. My eyes are still gold but like my brother, they are lined with the color matching my stripes and my lashes taper to points on either side. I almost look like my demon self but more—

 

“Exotic.” Sesshoumaru rasps behind me as he slowly wraps a hand around my neck and I watch our reflections when he presses his claws into the center of my throat suggestively. His other hand comes up to comb my white hair away from one of my shoulders, exposing a raised scar along my pulse point. I narrow my eyes, realizing my vision is sharper, and I can see the soft thump of my pulse under the mark. My hand darts up to touch it and I’m lost in my own thoughts when he leans into the back of one of my inu ears to whisper. “I have made you more than what you were, Ototo-san.”

 

My eyes catch his again in the mirror. “In what way?”

 

“In every way.” He says darkly and my sharp eyes can see the slight shift in his gaze. He is looking at me with both predatory focus and captivated attention.

 

I’m fighting back a small blush when I realize that a part of me enjoys the way he’s staring at me and in an effort to ease the tension, I flatten my hand over my neck and pretend to rub my shoulder. Then I feel another patch of raised skin on the tips of my fingers, just out of site in the mirror, and I’m turning my body to get a good look. He releases me and takes a step back when I twist around a couple times and run my hands up my back as much as I could.

 

The tattoo takes up nearly the whole of my back and it’s more like a brand than a tattoo. The marks are healed but the skin is raised slightly, similar to the mark on my neck, and the pigment of the design is dark but not quite black. “Shit Sesshoumaru!” I huff dramatically and lean over the countertop in frustration.

 

He steps closer behind me and runs his claws down the design on my back. I bite back a moan and my ears droop. “What troubles you?” He rumbles.

 

“It’s just—a lot to take in, you know? Everything is different now and it’s all changing so fast. I mean LOOK at me! I don’t even recognize myself anymore and you… what was with all that shit you said in the bedroom?” We catch each other’s eyes in the mirror again and I flinch when he ghosts his fingers over the back of the stripes on my hips. “Stop—just STOP damn it!” I growl and push him away from me to stalk back out into the bedroom. I’m carefully stepping over the broken marble floor when I continue. “Seriously Sesshoumaru, I’m half human—you know the sentimental species on this planet—and even I didn’t say shit like that to Kago—”

 

My heart drops suddenly and I turn to the remains of what once was a bedside table. With dread, I rush to the half burned furniture and all but toss it across the room looking for a small black jewelry box. Hot panic rips through me when it’s nowhere to be found and my hands come to my hair frantically. Turning wildly, my foot kicks something small that tumbles across the floor and I’m on my knees a moment later, fumbling with the broken jewelry box. A desperate inu whine escapes me when I pry it open but then I breathe a sigh of relief when I see the omamori knot safe inside. “Kagome.”

 

I hold the knot up to my nose to scent the black hair deeply. Then I feel a heavy presence across the room and I look up to see the intense golden eyes of the most powerful demon in the world glaring at me from the doorway of the bathroom suite. My ears drop back defensively and I’m bracing myself for whatever might come next when a crackle of lightning youki suddenly flashes in the room and a disheveled tatsu appears between us.

 

“Forgive me Sesshoumaru-sama!” Tanaka gasps and falls to his knees to press his forehead to the damaged marble floor; bowing deeply to my brother. Through the broken windows, I can hear the sounds of several emergency vehicles speed by the building below us and something primal inside me balks when he speaks again.

 

“The Higurashi Shrine—it’s on fire!”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fandom: Inuyasha  
> Title: The Black Door  
> Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Inuyasha (Inuyasha POV)  
> Rating: Explicit  
> Spoilers: None  
> Summary: Inuyasha struggles to deal with the loss of his mate  
> Disclaimer: I didn't create nor do I own Inuyasha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M NOT DEAD!!! LOL
> 
>  
> 
> *Not beta'd  
> **Comments = LOVE
> 
> Enjoy! ^_^

Chapter Ten

 

 

I leap from building to building towards the far end of the city where thick smoke rises from the burning shrine on the hill. Steel and concrete give way under my bare feet as I spring off each rooftop without sympathy for the destruction left in my wake. Nothing and no one can stop me, my beast roars inside with visceral determination. My body pulsates with a power I’ve never felt before and my heart swells as I get closer to the Higurashi home. The stripes on my face and hips are jagged and the peripheral world around me blurs to a tunnel. My red eyes can see only my destination and the inferno engulfing the place I call home in this time.

 

My brother glides smoothly through the air besides me with his pelt still draped over his shoulder.

 

I hear him calling to me but I don’t respond.

 

I feel his youki tugging on our mating bond but I don’t reciprocate.

 

I refuse to be deterred from my singular focus and I resent his intrusive presence; this has nothing to do with him.

 

A cascade of additional blasts in the flames jars the rising smoke and my mind screams in hot panic. An animalistic sound erupts out of me when I explode from the last rooftop separating me from the Higurashi home. Cutting through the air at an impossible speed, the heat finally hits me and I extend my arms to brace myself for the fire.

 

I’m nearly to the red torii gate, just beyond the top of the shrine stairs, when a flash of white whips past my face and suddenly I’m plummeting into the greenery along the side of the hill. My body breaks through the trees and crashes into the hard ground with violent momentum. I cry out wildly and sink my claws into the inhumanly warm flesh of the one wrestling me down into the damp terrain. We war for control against one another until we finally tumble to a stop in a tangle mess of limbs and blood.

 

“Submit!” Sesshoumaru thunders over me as I continue to struggle beneath him. I can taste his hot breath when he pins my wrists to the dirt above my head and clamps his clad thighs around my naked legs. “I said SUBMIT Inuyasha!” He cries with red eyes and I can feel his youki swell over me to reinforce his claim and demand my surrender.

 

Anger boils in my veins and his face is inches from mine when I succumb to the irresistible urge to viciously crack my forehead against his. But the grotesque sound of our skulls connecting makes my stomach churn and my ears fold back when a sharp pang of regret immediately replaces the anger. His eyes widen in shock, he bares his fangs, and reels back enough to respond in kind. My world tilts on its axis when his crescent moon brutally collides with my brow, jolting me with enough force to make my teeth rattle.

 

My jagged stripes melt back into smooth lines a moment later and my adrenaline dies away. My body goes limp under his and I’m left with shaky disorientation when my half lidded eyes fade back to gold. There is a terrible throb in my head and the world seems muffled when I look beyond my brother at the canopy above us. Behind the trees, the sky is black with billowing smoke and the light of the fire just over the hill catches in Sesshoumaru’s now golden eyes.

 

Suddenly I’m struck with a memory of a time when Kagome and I had bunked down for the night somewhere in old edo. The day had been long and the two of us were tired when we made our small camp in the woods. I had wrapped my arms around her and she laughed breathlessly when I kissed her. Our love making had been slow and deliberate that night as we laid next to the fire. She was whispering my name as my hands gripped her soft hips and guided her movements on my lap. She was so beautiful in her arched position above me and when she looked down, the light of the fire was in her eyes too.

 

“Ka—Kagome…” A broken sob escapes me and hot tears well up in my eyes when the reality of the present comes crashing down over me. I had failed her as a mate, I had failed to safeguard her, and now I have failed again in protecting her family home. At every turn, I had failed her, just like I had failed Kikyo before her. If only I could take it all back, if only I had never come into this world to begin with. “I’m… I’m so sorry… Kagome. For—forgive me… Please, I beg you…” My eyes pinch shut and I’m turning my head into the dirt as much as I can under my brother in hopes of somehow disappearing.

 

My human heart breaks and I can’t breathe. I know I’m screaming but I can’t hear myself, in fact, I can’t hear much of anything over the high pitch ringing in my ears. The harder I cry out, the louder the ringing gets. Somewhere in the middle, my screams become something else entirely; something animal and despairing. I’m utterly emptying myself as much as I’m raging against the reality of the awful situation. All at once I wish I was dead and in my mind’s eye, my beast keens pathetically in agreement. Neither of us notice the third presence in my mind, a quiet observer that listens and watches intently.

 

A warm sensation on my face pulls me out of my inner turmoil and my swollen eyes snap open to see mokomoko hovering in the small space between me and Sesshoumaru. I’m choking on my own sobs as it gingerly cups the side of my face and wicks my tears. My body is shaking with grief when my brother releases my wrists and makes to stand up off me. I feel completely exposed when he pulls away and on instinct, I turn my face into the inu pelt to take a long inhale of the comforting scent from earlier that morning. My hands are in the fur a moment later and I don’t have the energy or willpower to resist when my brother leans down to lift me into his arms. My limbs feel like lead and my heart feels hollow when he walks us away from the burning shrine on the hill. His fur wraps around my naked body and I adjust the back of my head in the bend of his arm.

 

Being held like this, I feel a sudden need to defend my tattered honor, even though I have no intention of moving. “I’m no—not a weakling, Sess—Sesshoumaru.” My voice is hoarse and cracks with the effort to speak between the involuntary spasms of my chest.

 

“I am aware.” He replies coolly without looking down at me. “You were never a weakling, Ototo-san.” Was all he offered before he soared us up through the trees and into the sky.

 

It took nearly the whole day for the fire to finally be put out at the Higurashi home and from the relative safety of Sesshoumaru’s penthouse, I watch the smoke fade away on the opposite side of the city. My eyes are much sharper now that I bonded myself with Sesshoumaru and although I know I shouldn’t be able to, I can see the locals gathering at the foot of the shrine stairs. In my hands, I run my fingers over the black omamori knot absentmindedly and take a deep, defeated, breath. My brother’s pelt pulls tighter around my body and I lean further back into the destroyed mattress on the floor.

 

A breeze wafts into the bedroom from the broken windows and I can scent the ash from the fire in the air. The cigar I had lit to calm my nerves sits abandoned in one of the melted grooves on the marble floor next to me. I look down at the small line of smoke rising from the cigar as it too, slowly dies. One of my ears dips back when I hear someone else enter the apartment. In the aftermath of the morning, my brother had set up a makeshift base of operations at the penthouse and the living spaces outside the bedroom were quickly filling with members of his Yakuza.

 

My senses are much stronger now too, I can clearly detect the specific youkai energy that entered. I scoff in mild amusement when I hear the newcomer give a frantic apology to my brother in the living room. Tanaka was conveniently not present when we arrived back at Sesshoumaru’s place, no doubt fearing the repercussions of interrupting us earlier and announcing the news this morning. Even though a part of me wants to inflict harm on the bumbling tatsu, I know he was only doing his job. Don’t blame the messenger, Kagome used to tell me when my temper would get the better of me.

 

Kagome.

 

I look back out the broken windows to the remains of the shrine on the hill and my face darkens when I think about the terrible things I plan to do to those responsible. It had quickly become apparent throughout the day that several incendiary devices were placed around the Higurashi grounds. Each time the ningen would get close to extinguishing the flames, another set would explode to life and soon the entire estate was on fire. I squeeze my fist around the knot of hair in my hand and pinch my eyes closed.

 

I will find out who is responsible Kagome, I promise.

 

“Inuyasha.” A cool baritone speaks from the doorway of the bedroom suite and I turn to see my brother looking at me. “Tanaka-san would like a word with you.”

 

I pause long enough to search my brother’s face but he still wears his cold façade, not giving away anything of the river of thought I know flows on the inside. His gold eyes just glare down into my own and despite the simple house slacks he still wears, he looks every bit the heartless Daiyoukai the world knows him to be.

 

We stare at each other for a long time before I slowly begin to nod and stand up. I gather mokomoko and deposit the inu pelt on the mattress before I reach for the broken jewelry box and carefully place the knot back inside. When I put the box back down on the bed, I’m surprised to watch the fur coil around it protectively and I look back up at Sesshoumaru in the doorway. “We all have things we cherish in this world, Inuyasha. I will help you protect those which are sacred to you.”

 

My spirits lift slightly with his declaration. “Thank you, Oniisan.”

 

He only nods once in reply and motions to the direction of his walk-in closet on the far end of the bedroom.

 

Inside the closet, I find Tessaiga sheathed on top of an ornate credenza next to a folded pair of jeans. After pulling my pants on and grabbing my father’s fang, I catch a reflection of myself in one of the closet mirrors. I still have leaves in my hair and dirt smudged on my face but I hardly notice, instead I’m struck again with how much I’ve changed. I turn my head slightly, eyeing the smooth pair of purple stripes on my face and the matching hue lining my eyes. Then I look down at the pair of stripes on my hipbones; barely visible over the waistline of my jeans.

 

I stare at my reflection for a long time before I turn my upper body as much as I can to look at the tattoo covering most of my back. My lips purse in annoyance when I think of how much I’ve changed and I’m about to leave the closet all together when my eyes fall on the reflection of the mating mark on my neck. With my free hand, I carefully touch the raised scar and a voice in the back of my mind whispers, is it really so terrible to bare this mark?

 

I grunt in reply and I’m about to chastise my inner demon when I realize the voice I heard wasn’t his. In my mind’s eye, my beast and I stare at each other and then in the direction of where the voice came from but there’s nothing there. On an instinctual level, I have a pretty good idea where the voice came from but I refuse to accept it or even believe I really heard it at all.

 

I shake my head and take a deep breath, pulling the tree bits from my hair and rubbing the dirt from my face as best I could before I reemerge from the closet with Tessaiga in hand and a confident guise in place. Sesshoumaru waits for me in the doorway and we look at each other for a moment when I come to stand before him; our height difference once again blaring out at me. He doesn’t move but I can see his nostrils twitch and I know he’s scenting me.

 

I try to give him a grin to break the tension but not even the façade I wear can feign cheerfulness in my current state and my ears droop. He raises a clawed hand to stroke one of my ears but pauses in midair and I’m left looking up at him expectantly. I can feel the heat of his hand hovering just over my head and I’m fighting a powerful urge to lean in to it; suddenly acutely aware of how much I want him to touch me.

 

But I refuse to admit it, out loud or otherwise.

 

His eyes narrow slightly and he closes his hand into a fist.

 

I’m shocked when he pulls away entirely to turn into the hallway and something inside me shifts anxiously. I blink a couple times before I step out of the doorway to follow him. We walk in silence down the hallway and I give my father’s other fang, mounted on the wall, a passing look. If only he could see us now, I think to myself and fold my ears back entirely, completely missing my brother’s side glance.

 

When we step out into the living room, I unconsciously let Sesshoumaru take a full step ahead of me and walk slightly behind him to his right. Most of his Yakuza there were already standing and those that weren’t, stood immediately upon our arrival. The large room is littered with documents, stacked boxes and various items in sealed evidence bags. The coffee table is covered in surveillance photos of the Higurashi shrine, some of them time stamped as far back as last month. The heady scent of alcohol makes my nose twitch and I turn to watch a female youkai walk back into the kitchen area with a tray of empty sake bottles.

 

“Sesshoumaru-sama.” My attention is ripped back to the group of youkai standing before us and I watch as they all bow deeply to my brother. When they rise, only one stays in a bowed position. He stands at the center of the group, without a jacket like the others, his pressed shirt rolled up his sleeves to expose tattoos of serpent-like dragons up the length of his arms. “Thank you for the honor of allowing me to formally apologize to you and to your brother!” He starts with enthusiasm before he addresses me directly in his strained position. “For my rudeness and lack of respect this morning, I humbly beg for your forgiveness, Inuyasha-sama!”

 

My eyes widen slightly in shock, I’ve never been referred to with such an honorific and certainly not from someone as high ranking in my brother’s gang. “In my shame and dishonor, I gladly accept any punishment you see fit to bestow upon me!” I can feel the eyes in the room fall on me a moment later and I struggle to regain my composure under their scrutinizing glares. I’m completely at a loss as to how I should respond. The tension in the room mounts with each moment that passes by and I can see the tremor in the tatsu’s stance with my sharp eyes.

 

Afraid, I realize internally, he is genuinely afraid.

 

“Tanaka-san…” I begin slowly. Then I catch a small movement from the corner of my eye and look up at the face of another tatsu in the back of the room; whose likeness is shockingly similar to the one bowed before my brother and I. Wide eyed and terrified on behalf of her brother, Tsuki stares at me with pleading eyes, all the contempt the lounge bartender once had for me seems to have vanished entirely. Out of habit, from previous high pressure situations in my life, I flex my hold on Tessaiga and all the youkai in the room collectively take a sharp inhale. A bead of sweat rolls down Tanaka’s forehead and falls to the floor when his eyes pinch shut, obviously expecting the worst.

 

Suddenly I realize that this would be the perfect opportunity to pay the asshole back for all his smears and insults the last two years. This would be the perfect opportunity to prove to my brother’s gang that I’m just as powerful as any of them and I’m not someone to be trifled with. I could easily cut Tanaka down and cement my place in the Daiyoukai’s Yakuza right here and right now. Maybe that’s what a full blooded youkai would do in this moment; my inner beast is certainly tempted to do so. A swell of righteous anger boils up inside me and my knuckles go white with strain around my father’s fang.

 

But then my human heart pangs with compassion and after another long pause, I step out in front of Sesshoumaru and tap the unfortunate dragon on the shoulder with the end of my sheathed sword. “Stand up Tanaka.” I say plainly and he carefully looks up at me with uncertainty. “Come on, stand up.” I say quieter this time and he slowly complies. He and I are nearly the same height but he loosens his posture slightly anyway to diminish the fact that he is in fact bigger than me in nearly every other way. “I accept your apology, Tanaka-san.” The tension in the room seems to dissipate and from the corner of my eye, I can see tears flowing down Tsuki’s face in the back of the room.

 

The tatsu stares at me with sincere disbelief before he quickly bows again in acknowledgement, and this time, all the other youkai in the room follow suit. Sesshoumaru and I are the only ones left standing upright among the full-blooded youkai. Then I instinctually feel the balance of power shift in my direction with the realization that they aren’t bowing to my brother, the most powerful Daiyoukai in the world, they’re all bowing to…

 

“There are privileges, Inuyasha.” I turn to look up into the vivid gold eyes of my brother. Reflected in them I see a mixture of pride and that same depth from before; as if he is not only looking at me but into me. I feel something pass between us then, through our mating bond, something warm and entirely inviting; something I’ve never felt before with another. Not even with Kagome.

 

Sesshoumaru is the first one to break eye contact as he looks up over me and addresses the room. I swallow thickly and try to compose myself again when he walks around me and their meeting from before picks up where it left off. I can’t bring myself to turn back to the room though. I’m too lost in my own thoughts to even notice when a female demon approaches me and it’s not until she moves to stand right in front of me that I even see her.

 

“Thank you Inuyasha-sama.” Tsuki bows deeply. “Thank you for the mercy you showed my brother.” She straightens again and I clear my throat.

 

“You’re welcome.” I finally say.

 

“Tanaka-kun and I have only ever had the greatest of respect for the heir of the late Inu no Taisho; our clan survives today only because of the protection he offers us.” She pauses for a long time and seems to be searching for the right words when she finally looks at me directly. “What you did today demonstrated to us both that we should have also respected you, Inuyasha-sama, hanyou son of Inu no Taisho and most honored mate of the greatest Daiyoukai that has ever lived.”

 

She walks away before I have a chance to respond and I’m left staring down the hallway towards my brother’s bedroom suite. At the end of the wide hall, carefully mounted on the wall and softly lit with inlaid spotlights, is my brother’s armor from all those years before. The terrifying image of the violent Demon Lord I once warred with, before I came back to this time. The very same Demon Lord that ultimately grew more powerful than our father and rose to become the greatest Daiyoukai this world has ever known.

 

“Sesshoumaru.” I whisper and turn to look across the room of busy Yakuza to find him staring at me. Two of his subordinates are going over the documents they hold out in front of him but he isn’t paying attention to them. I peer around the rest of the room and see the members of my brother’s syndicate focused on their individual tasks to piece together what happened. There are privileges, Sesshoumaru had said and I can’t help but feel grateful for everything he and his Yakuza are doing. Not only to unravel the mystery of their new found enemy but to also help me find answers.

 

To help me find closure.

 

I lock eyes with Sesshoumaru from across the room again and feel that same something pass between us but stronger this time. If I didn’t know better I would think the world suddenly stood still. All I can see and feel is him. The sensation is both exhilarating and alarming; empowering and overwhelming. I can’t help but feel like I’m a part of something bigger than myself now, something I can’t quite explain or even really understand.

 

Is this what it is to be mated in the youkai way?

 

Is this what it is to be bonded to the greatest Daiyoukai that has ever lived?

 

His piercing eyes narrow from across the room and I tip my head back slightly before I retreat back to his bedroom and away from the suffocating energy of his Yakuza in the apartment. Everything is different now and I’m not sure I’m ready for what I feel like is coming; what I feel like he and I are recklessly careening towards. Answers and closure be damned in this moment because I desperately need to understand what’s happening between us; now more than ever in my entirely fucked up and disjointed relationship with him. The purebred son and heir of Inu no Taisho.

 

My brother.

 

My mate.

 

Sesshoumaru.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fandom: Inuyasha  
> Title: The Black Door  
> Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Inuyasha (Inuyasha POV)  
> Rating: Explicit  
> Spoilers: None  
> Summary: Inuyasha struggles to deal with the loss of his mate  
> Disclaimer: I didn't create nor do I own Inuyasha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Not beta'd  
> **Comments = LOVE
> 
> Enjoy! ^_^

Chapter Eleven

 

 

The grass is cool beneath my feet and the sun is barely over the horizon as I make my way towards the hut on the hill. She wouldn’t go with me this time and I understand why. I squat down to the bucket of water Kaede had left just outside our door and begin to scrub the dirt off my clawed hands. If only grief could be buried and washed away as easily, I think to myself and my ears swivel when I hear my mate shuffle on our small futon inside. I’m drying my hands with the ends of my untucked haori when I walk inside quietly; the Robe of the Fire-Rat wicks away water almost as well as it repels flame.

 

The scent in our small hut hits me like a wall. The smell of blood, tears, and sadness is nearly suffocating to me. Kagome has her back to me but I know she’s awake when I come to the raised platform on the far side of the room, where she lays on our bed. I slowly slip onto the futon and pull myself up behind her, careful not to nudge her body too much as I settle against her back. I brush away the dark hair at the nape of her neck, kiss her there softly, and squeeze her shoulder with reassurance. She reaches around herself and takes my hand, I’m surprised at how cold her skin is. We weave our fingers together and she rearranges her arm so I can hug her from behind and push my other arm under her head.

 

“I love you, Inuyasha.” She whispers.

 

“And I love you.” I answer, kissing the back of her head.

 

“Do you trust me?”

 

“Of course I do – what kind of question is that?” I grunt and hug her a little harder.

 

“We need to go back.” She starts and my heart drops when she finishes. “I need to go home.”

 

“This… this is our home, Kagome. We built a life here.” I squeeze her hand when she tries to pull away from me and hold back the hurt in my voice as much as I can. “Don’t you want it anymore?”

 

“I want a family.” Her voice cracks and she’s weeping again. “And I can’t keep going through this—this hell, trying to make that happen in this era. There are healers in my time that can help me, help us, have a family.”

 

“But how would we even get to your time Kagome? The Bone Eaters Well—it hasn’t worked since you came back.”

 

She doesn’t answer right away and I can feel her pull away from me emotionally. After several tense moments, her tears slow and her breathing begins to even out. She swallows and turns to look at me suddenly, in her wet eyes I can see the same fierceness she once had, back when we fought Naraku together. “The well can be opened again.” Her expression darkens. “I found another way to reactivate it.”

 

“How?” I answer and I don’t know why I feel so uneasy with my human mate in that moment.

 

She stares at me for a long time before she turns away from me again. “The details don’t matter Inuyasha. Just please trust me.” 

 

I jolt awake and when my eyes snap open, I’m staring up the length of a gray headboard to a polished ceiling. I have to blink a couple times to remember where I am but after a while, I’m finally able to get my bearings. With an airy groan, I force myself up into a sitting position on the bed and look around. But just like all the previous mornings this last week, I wake up alone in my brother’s bed.

 

The last time I really saw or spoke to Sesshoumaru was nearly eight days ago and ‘speaking’ would be a liberal way of describing it actually. It was the morning after Tanaka had formally apologized to me in front of the rest of the Yakuza. That night, I had been so torn up that I practically drank everything my brother had in his private collection. I’m pretty sure that had I been human that night, I would have died.

 

Maybe that’s what I had wanted.

 

When I woke up the next morning, I was so sick that the Demon Lord himself had to tend to me. He had walked smoothly into the destroyed bedroom, dressed to the nines, and I had growled profanity at him. He had patiently waited for me to get ahold of myself before he held out a crystal shot glass filled with something strong.

 

What the fuck is this, I spat at him even though I took it and drank it.

 

Hair of the dog, he had answered with indifference before he left and it took me the rest of the day to realize he had used a modern idiom. I wanted to find him later that night to make a comment about old dogs and new tricks but he never came back from wherever he had gone that day. He didn’t come home for two whole days actually and when he did finally step back into his penthouse, he went straight to his study on the second floor without acknowledging my presence at all.

 

I haven’t seen him since then and I haven’t left the penthouse either.

 

Not that I had been alone the whole time though.

 

Like clockwork, members of his gang had come and gone freely the entire time. Some had gone straight to the second floor, some had dropped off groceries that I had eagerly devoured, and the old demon with the disfigured face had brought in a Youkai designer to address the damage in the bedroom suite. She had taken one good look at the room before she gave me a knowing smile, which I hated her for, and told the old demon what needed to be done. By time the week had gone by, the bedroom looked pristine again and I found myself back in Sesshoumaru’s private collection to celebrate.

 

Now I wake up alone in his bed again and I don’t know why I’m so bothered by it. 

 

I haven’t felt this anxious in a long time actually, not since a time when I slept in trees, avoiding those that hunted hanyou children.

 

The new marble floor is cool beneath my feet when I step off the bed and after a quick shower, I’m left staring at myself in the foggy mirror again. After the fire at the Higurashi Shrine, I haven’t felt like myself and it’s almost fitting that the person I see reflected back at me is someone new. But his reflection is starting to look familiar and I’m not as shaken each time the demon catches me in the glass. I’m beginning to accept that we are one and the same. I can sense my inner beast clearly these days, as though he lurks just under my skin; waiting and watching. For the first time in my life, I’m no longer at odds with my demon; he is one with my conscious mind and guides me with instinct.

 

It’s an entirely new feeling that’s easy to get addicted to.

 

I glare into his matching set of gold eyes in the mirror and feel him shift inside me when the dark stripes on his high cheek bones go jagged. Then suddenly, for a single hair-raising moment, the reflection shifts to something wild and terrifying and I flinch back from the mirror. But the moment passes just as quickly when I catch the sound of my brother in the living room and my ears tip forward in an effort to eavesdrop.

 

I grab a towel off the rack and step out into the bedroom where the door to the hallway is cracked open. From the sounds of it, my brother plans to be out for the rest of the day, though whether he’s going to the club headquarters or to the office is still unclear. When I hear him leave the apartment, I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and turn towards the nightstand, where I left a pair of jeans and a red t-shirt next to the broken jewelry box. After a few minutes, I’m in front of a mirror in Sesshoumaru’s closet, my father’s fang tied to my belt loop and my hair pulled high on my head. I look like the Great Dog General now I think, he had thick stripes on his face too, though his were indigo and not purple.

 

I don a pair of black boots and walk confidently down my brother’s hallway leading to the living room. I’m still a little surprised each time the members of his gang bow when they see me. But like the now constant presence of my demon, the feeling is easy to get addicted to and I feel a small sense of pride when I stalk past them towards the entrance foyer; my head held high. “I’m going out.” I say sternly and pull open the black door.

 

“Will you be needing a car, Inuyasha-sama?” The scarred demon asks behind me.

 

“Uh…” I pause when I realize I don’t actually know where I’m going and turn to look back at the old youkai. He eyes me patiently and I have a chance to really get a good look at him. He’s taller than me and thinner but I have a feeling that his frame is deceiving to his physical abilities. He has smooth silver hair pulled back in a slack warriors knot and other than the serrated scar running down the side of his face, what makes the old man striking is his icy blue eyes. He wears what must be the standard uniform for my brother’s gang and the hue of his eyes are so light in fact that they nearly match his white pressed shirt.

 

“Uh no, no I don’t need a car, but thank you…” I trail off, not knowing his name.

 

“Hiroshi.” He says as though he read my mind.

 

“Thank you, Hiroshi-san.”

 

“My pleasure, Inuyasha-sama—here, allow me.” He says and steps forward to take hold of Sesshoumaru’s front door and open it wider for me. I’m not sure how to react and I give him an awkward glance before I walk out into the private hallway. I hear the door bolt closed behind me and the old youkai comes to stand next to me when I press the button for the elevator.

 

“Um, you going somewhere too then?”

 

“I will be accompanying you.” He offers without looking at me and I furrow my brows when the metal doors chime open before us.

 

“What do you mean?” He ushers me inside the elevator before he steps in himself.

 

“Sesshoumaru-sama requires that you have an escort at all times.”

 

“You have GOT to be kidding me!” I roll my eyes dramatically and growl. “Of course the controlling bastard assigns me a babysitter— so tell me, of his whole gang, how did this noble task fall on your shoulders Hiroshi-san?”

 

He doesn’t answer right away and I catch a curious look in his piercing eyes when we arrive at the lobby. It’s not until we’re half way to the main doors of the building when he calmly replies. “I requested it.”

 

“What—why?” I’m stunned as we walk out of Taisho Industries and down the concrete steps towards the road; and towards a black Mercedes waiting for us.

 

He opens the door to the back of the sedan for me and bows when I slip inside. I’m adjusting Tessaiga when he comes around the other side to sit next to me. He knocks twice on the black glass separating us from the driver and we pull forward to merge into traffic. “I have personally served the noble house of Inu no Taisho for centuries and I am privileged to continue to do so now with the hanyou son of the Great Dog General and most honored mate—“

 

“—of the greatest Daiyoukai that has ever lived, yeah yeah I know, you’re not the first one to say that to me recently.” I finish his sentence with sarcasm. “Kami-sama, the way you guys say it makes it sound like some kind of title or something.”

 

“It is.” He says coolly and I turn to eye him with annoyance but he doesn’t look back at me. He just stares out his window and I get the distinct impression not to push the subject any further with him.

 

I sigh with defeat and slump back into the plush leather seat to look out my own window instead. The streets in the city are busy like they always are now and I find myself thinking back on a time when old edo wasn’t nearly as crowded. In my mind’s eye, I can see the rolling green hills and the endless rice fields. The country was a very different place then and I remember it like it was yesterday. I wonder if this is what all ageless beings feel when they watch time march by. In truth, I find myself thinking about that a lot lately. When I was with Kagome I had embraced the ningen way of life and I never really stopped to think about my age or lifespan. But now that I tied myself to Sesshoumaru, and by extension the youkai way of life, time is taking on a whole new meaning to me.

 

“So.” I start without looking back at Hiroshi. “I’ve never actually met a snow weasel demon before, isn’t your clan from the high mountain ranges?”

 

“Yes.” He answers plainly and I’m silently itching for more details before he continues. “But many of us came down from the mountains to serve Inu no Taisho centuries ago and over time, some chose to remain here; even though the heat in this part of Japan can be difficult for our kind.”

 

“How did you come to serve my father?”

 

“The Great Dog General liberated us from a tribe of owl demons during a time of war between our two species. We have honored Inu no Taisho ever since. However, I personally serve your family because I owe a blood debt to your father.” He turns to me and motions towards Tessaiga. “And to the sibling of your sword, Tenseiga.”

 

With genuine shock, I’m about to bombard the old itachi with a series of questions when our car pulls to a stop at a street curb I know very well. I look out my window, across the sidewalk, and at the yellow tape draped between the twin poles of a red torii. My expression darkens and my heart pangs when I grit out between clenched teeth. “Why… did you bring me here?”

 

“Is this not where you wished to go, Inuyasha-sama?”

 

All I can do is clamp my mouth shut when I realize he’s actually right and my grip on Tessaiga is so tight that I can’t feel my hand anymore. Something heavy and suffocating swells in my chest and my inner beast flexes just under the surface with hot rage. Rage for those responsible. Rage for my inability to stop the fire. Rage for the loss of my human mate. After several moments, and after I slice my tongue along my fangs in an effort to pull myself back from the brink, I push open the door and step out onto the sidewalk. Hiroshi doesn’t move to follow and I slam the car door shut behind me.

 

Just like before, the sidewalk is lined with the evidence of the vigils the community had for the Higurashi Shrine and I step over dead flowers to approach the torii gate. I reach out to the yellow tape hanging across the threshold and pull it away; the plastic ribbons falling to my boots before I make my way up the shrine stairs. The closer I get to the top, the more destruction I see and by time I come to the remains of the second torii, all that’s left is the charred ruins of the place I called home for the last two years.

 

Not even the Goshinboku tree survived.

 

“Gone, it’s all gone.” I whisper to no one else but myself.

 

A breeze picks up around me and I smell the air out of habit when I look across the shrine grounds. Something creaks in the wind and I turn to the remains of the small building that once housed the Bone Eaters Well. Then a memory hits me suddenly and I’m rushing to the burned down structure a moment later. I’m recklessly tearing away at the ruins, my clawed hands and red shirt are stained black by time I rip down the broken door and push aside part of the collapsed roof to expose a set of wooden stairs.

 

I have to heave more of the roof away but soon I’m hunched down at the mouth of what used to serve as a gateway between two eras. With a grunt, I’m able to kick through the broken wooden well wall and jump down into the belly of it. My boots hit the ground hard and ash puffs up around me in the claustrophobic space, making me cough. I pull the neck of my shirt over the bottom of my face to shield myself and kneel down to touch the ground. It’s much darker in the well now that the building housing it has burned down around it but I don’t really need eyes for what I’m looking for.

 

I blindly claw at the dried ash until I make it into the dirt. When I can properly dig at the ground, it’s not long before my claws catch on something stronger than soil. With renewed vigor, I’m pulling fistfuls of earth away before I reach down deep and pull out what I was looking for. In my hands, I hold the only other item my father left me before he died and I desperately hug the Robe of the Fire-Rat to my chest.

 

I sit back, off my knees, and lean against the cold stone well wall. I’m half blind and I can hardly breathe but I can’t stop myself from diving one of my hands into the folds of the red fabric to fish out the secret inside. The string of stone beads roll over my fingers and I begin to laugh breathlessly when I peer down at the enchanted necklace that once defined part of who I was.

 

I rip my shirt off my face to cry up the mouth of the well in victory. “Yes—Oh Kami-sama, YES!” My voice echoes off the stone walls and I’m sure even Kouga would be proud of the howl the booms out of me. But all too soon, the elation begins to fade and after the ringing of my voice dies away, I’m left with only sobering emptiness.

 

Here in this dark place, in the pit of a dormant portal, the reality of recent events starts to really sink in. An agonizing series of ‘what if’s’ plague me and my ears droop as if the weight of the world hangs on them. My mind flashes back to the sickening images of the burned okami children and of the bloody end Kouga’s mate suffered. There seems to be a frightening parallel between him and me now.

 

There is so much loss, so much death and unanswered questions.

 

I close my fist around the beads in my hand but before I can succumb to my heartache, I hear a strange noise and my ears perk up towards the top of the well. I’m on my feet a moment later, Tessaiga drawn, ready for anything when the tiny face of a disheveled cat peeks over the lip of the well.

 

“Buyo—is that you?!” I call out in astonishment and he meows miserably back down at me. “How the hell are you even alive?!”

 

I sheath my father’s fang, tuck my robe and the Beads of Subjugation in the back of my jeans, and quickly climb back out of the well. He gives me a wide birth when I surface but doesn’t complain when I reach down to grab him; he even purrs when I give him a good squeeze. I’ve never been so fucking happy to see a feline in my entire life.

 

We’re both filthy when I get back into the Mercedes Benz waiting for me at the base of the shrine stairs but I don’t give a damn. I can’t stop myself from laughing when Hiroshi has the driver pull us away to head back to the penthouse. There may have been a time when Buyo would have panicked about being in a moving car, but right now the fat cat is entirely content to hunker down in my lap with the other two items I salvaged.

 

Even though my human heart has a long way to go and I know I’ll likely never set foot at the Higurashi Shrine again, I feel my spirits soar.

 

I haven’t felt this comforted in a long time actually, not since a time when I sat in trees, watching the woman I loved play with village children.

 

When we first arrived back at the penthouse, the cat didn’t react well to being surrounded by so many full-blooded demons and vice versa; especially the inu youkai that made up most of my brother’s gang in attendance. Luckily I had convinced Hiroshi to dismiss them all though and after the fat feline and I got cleaned up, we polished off the last of a takeout order I had brought in. It wasn’t until I was in the middle of trying to set up a makeshift bed for Buyo that I remembered what night it was.

 

It was a particularly troubling transformation. Having the sense of oneness with my inner demon suddenly cut off, along with the increased strength I had quickly become accustomed to, was dizzying and I had nearly vomited all over my brother’s couch. The itachi had reacted better than I thought he would have and didn’t protest when I told him to leave too; though he only agreed to do so if he could stand guard outside the front door in the private hall instead.

 

Now sitting against Sesshoumaru’s headboard with Buyo half asleep in my lap, I stare off into space with my human eyes and grapple with the fear that he won’t come back tonight; and why I’m so bothered by that if he doesn’t. I should rest but I always stay awake on nights like this. So I fill the time coming up with varying scenarios of how my brother will react when he finds out we have a live-in pet cat now.

 

Then my train of thought comes to a screeching halt.

 

Did I just think ‘we’? When did I start thinking of my relationship with him as a ‘we’ arrangement?

 

I don’t have much time to dwell on the subject though when I hear the front door open in the foyer. A moment later the damn cat darts off my lap with enough force to slice the top of my thigh with his hind claws. “FUCK—what the hell you stupid cat?!” He rushes back and forth on the floor a couple times before he decides to hide in the Daiyoukai’s walk in closet. “Yeah you better hide!” I yell at him and hop off the bed to assess the damage.

 

It’s hard to really get a good look with the limited light from the cityscape outside though. In the end I opt to lift the hem of my boxers and run my fingers over the swollen parallel lines Buyo left behind. I curse when I feel the blood, it’s not much but it’s enough to piss me off.

 

I have to remind myself that Sesshoumaru has certainly done a whole lot worse.

 

Suddenly I feel a static charge that makes the hair on my forearms rise and I whip around to face the doorway of the bedroom, where a dark silhouette glares at me with glowing red eyes. A wave of adrenaline pulsates through me and before I have a chance to react, he’s on me and I’m being pushed flush against the wall.

 

In a panic, I grab at the hand around my neck, keeping me up on my tiptoes, and sputter up at the Daiyoukai. “I—I can explain about the cat!”

 

“The neko will be addressed later.” He grits out menacingly and my stomach does flip-flops when his fist tightens around my pulse points. His other hand reaches down to my thigh and I hiss when he presses his thumb into the fresh wound. Buyo wasn’t strong enough to actually bruise the skin but I know Sesshoumaru is and I’m biting back a pained sound when he does just that. He peers down at me with all the deadly focus of an apex predator and his glowing eyes narrow when he raises his thumb to his lips to taste my blood.

 

His hungry mouth is on mine a second later and I struggle to keep up with him as he devours me. When he finally pulls back, I’m gasping for air and my lips are swollen. He jerks me around aggressively and throws me down onto his bed. I’m scrambling up on my elbows as he begins to tear off his suit jacket, followed by his tie and pressed shirt. Even in the low light I can clearly see the angry wound on his ribcage and my heart drops when I see it begin to bleed again. “Kami-sama!”

 

He crouches over me and I’m struggling to crawl away from him on the bed when he grabs one of my ankles to drag me back. “I have repeated myself several times Ototo-san, I am no God. If you must call out to something greater than yourself—”

 

He pauses to growl deep and forebodingly.

 

“It will be my name.”


End file.
